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Condom or the pill?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 October 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2009)
A male Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Soo... umm... I've been with my girlfriend for about 4 months and shes already discussed with me about having sex, but shes a virgin and soo am I, but I'm not quite sure whats the best thing to do, bucause she doesnt want me to use a condom, she would rather go on the pill because of how it would be feeling wise.

And if somehow the pills didnt work she could get pregnant and i dont want that, sooo is it better to use a condom or pills?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thnx everyone for ur anwsers, im wearing and shes using the pills.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008):

Im in a simular situation, however the other way around. Both me and my GF are virgins however we are both very shy and find it hard to make a move, having to pull out a condom doesnt help. My gf will be going on the pill and I trust her enough to take them correctly, that I will not be using a condom at first, the pill is more effective then the condom if used correctivly and you dont get people saying "dont use a pill" if you use a condom. so what difference is the other way around. However we are sensible enough to have checks first, just to be sure we are clean.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008):

Use both. I'm on birth control, and I still use condoms. the pill is not 100% and she may still get pregnant. And ALWAYS use condoms.. it will help protect from STD's..

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A female reader, aunty_rach United Kingdom +, writes (22 October 2008):

for gods sake use both! my friend got pregnant while on the pill, so it just shows you it;s not 100 percent safe, and nither is the condom. so if you are both sensible you will use both forms of contraception.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008):

Dear Poster

You are a very wise young man; it is good to be safe rather then sorry.

I suggest you use both forms of contraception. Neither is a 100% safe and well at least if she somehow forget to drink the pill or it is for some reason not effective,vow, by using a condom you have that extra safety. I would not suggest or recommend that you consider having sex with any girl without a condom; no matter what they say, you have to also protect your health and minimize the risk of pregnancy for your own safety and peace of mind.

With sex there is more then just the risk of unwanted pregnancy; remember there are STD's and AIDS.

NO, if a girl does not want you to use a condom; I am afraid I strongly advice that then you DON'T have sex with her.

Good luck and keep SMILING.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008):

'The Gentle Man'... until you have taken the pill then I advise you hold your opinion on it being "easy for women". That most certainly is NOT the case.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008):

The pill is great if the woman doesn't have side effects and remembers to take it every day, but if she misses...could lead to problems. Condoms are not that expensive, great for "spur of the moment". There are other alternatives to birth control as well, but those two are the best. I'd recommend condoms over the pill.

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A female reader, baybee-x-sparkii United Kingdom +, writes (20 October 2008):

baybee-x-sparkii agony auntid say go double dutch, use both at least then it increases your chances of not being pregnant...obviously once she is sorted with the pill you could consider not using condoms but until then i wouldn't recommend it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008):

Condoms can split, they are only 98% effective, whilst the pill, if taken correctly, does give a 99.7% effectiveness. However, this does does mean it must be taken at the same time everyday without fail.

I empathise with your girlfriend not wanting to use a condom as they are vile things in a romantic situation but you must never forget that they have a very important use- they are the ONLY method of contraception which protect against STI/Ds. If you do decide not to use condoms then it would be a good idea idea for you and your girlfriend to have a sexual health check even though you are both virgins, I know this is free in the UK but I'm not sure about your region.

Also, since there is always still the possiblity of pregnancy no matter how careful you are, ensure that you talk to your girlfriend about what you would do in that situation before you have sex, this will both aleviate the worry of it during sex and will show you have a commitment to the relationship.

Good luck, and have fun.

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A male reader, The Gentle Man United Kingdom +, writes (20 October 2008):

The Gentle Man agony auntI would advise both. Pill is easy for women, condom is easy for men. And if she is a virgin, how would she know how it would feel with a condom ?

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