A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm 18 years old and I need help!! To cut a long story short my bf and I had a huge row ( which we have sorted now) and he went and told his mates who now hate me with a passion. They are blaming for everything that has gone wrong in the relationship, saying I'm useless and worth nothing and don't deserve to have a kid (I have a 2 year old). Just lately I'm starting to belive them that I am useless etc. All this is putting a strain on my relationship. He has given a deadline. I've got to sort myself out or we're through. I feel he don't understand what his mates have done to me. What should I do? Should I get help? Any suggestions would be received gratefully. xxxx Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm giving a update my bf does stand up to his mates but he can't do much cos he's in and out of hospital with heart attacks. Recently they have calmed down in slagging me off my head is still a mess etc
A
male
reader, Dr Pete + ♥, writes (20 August 2006):
 I'm going to be a little presumptuous here...
I think the relationship is already over.
Why?
Well, what do you think your boyfriend says when his mates are criticising and putting you down? Do you think he defends you - and tells them to shut up?
Of course he doesn't! If your boyfriend supported your relationship to his friends, they would never put you down.
Right anonymous - I think you need a good healthy dose of confidence boosting! How dare someone elses friends say you don't deserve to have a child and that you are useless, of course you're not!
What's your boyfriend given you a deadline for exactly - what do you mean by "sort yourself out"?
I'll tell you why he doesn't understand how you feel about his mates - it's for the same reason as above; he is on their side; and I believe he probably thinks you ARE in the wrong and that he does blame you for what has gone wrong in the past.
Let me guess - he used to be a great boyfriend, used to make you feel good about yourself - but now he doesn't?
I think the only help you need is to regain your self-confidence. If your boyfriend isn't there to support you, encourage you, and make you feel the most special and beautiful girl in the world then he is no good for you. You deserve better. Having more confidence in yourself will make you see this.
I'm not saying end the relationship, but it sounds to me you need to stand your ground more, not allow him to give you stupid deadlines and certainly not allow his friends to interfere with you or your relationship.
I wish you the best with whatever happens ok?
Peter
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