A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Our xmas party (dinner/drinks) is in Dec. My boss at work did the roster so his favourites could go. Is this fair?Obviously some people have to work, but he made sure his favourite colleagues could go. Those of us working are OK in his eyes but not favourites, except one young girl who he adores. Hmmm!I work in a hospital and finish work 10pm that day and then have to be up by 5 to be at work the next day, so I cannot go after work!
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male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (4 November 2017):
This sounds like something you need to take up with his boss. If he rearranged the work schedules in such a way that the burden is put on some people and it sounds like it in your case that is something Hospital management needs to know about.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 November 2017):
 How do you know for sure that your boss made the roster precisely with the intent that his favourites could go ?
The young girl he adores is not going, for instance.
I think you may be reading into this more than there is.
It's an hospital. Hospitals work 24 /7, Sundays, Xmas, Easter, any sort of vacations- and there are shifts to be assigned. Unless you can honestly complain that you are the one always picked for the shitty shifts, or always prevented from joining workplace social events, it may be pirely coincidental. Have you been prevented from going last year too ? And the years before ?...
Someone must work that day, and it is at least possible that you got the short end of the stick for no particular reason.
OTH, yes it is quite possible that the people who were left free to attend the party weer selected according to specific criteria, but not necessarily that of being the boss' pets. May be the boss- it would be logical- tried to make sure that those who could attend were those who cared more about the party, or would enjoy it more. There's plenty , plenty of people who HATE work parties , or at least can take them or leave them indifferently. It make sense to me that if you aren't known as a very social person, or you have never , so far, expressed a special interest and excitement at the idea of attending, or attended and distinguished yourself as the life of the party - you might have been selected to work that day, as a person who would not feel like she is missing a lot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2017): Sorry, but being the boss has its perks! You get to pick your favorites; which is sometimes based on performance, loyalty, and a great attitude. Not always because everybody is a suck-up! It doesn't always seem fair; but then, it doesn't seem fair the boss gets to boss everybody around!
You have a personal-life. Friends, family, and other connections. Christmas is what you make of it. It has religious meaning, it's festive, you can enjoy giving, and overlook all the stupid stunts and tricks pulled by people who really mean nothing to you.
If you work in a hospital, that means you get scheduled to work horrible hours, holidays, and weekends. Seniority counts; so those who've been there the longest reap the better benefits.
You have the option to throw your own little bash, and invite whomever you want. Invite your favorite coworkers, closest of friends, and beloved family. Office parties can be nice; but people are so creepy and off-putting. The hierarchy is there all stiff and pretending to be nice. The office gossips are judging and watching every move. You might be better off than you think.
Don't let it get you down. Your best Christmas cheer and good-times comes from being with people you love.
If they throw only one party that not everyone gets to enjoy; it must not be much of a party anyway.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 November 2017):
 Very unprofessional to say the least, however am afraid that this problem is really common. Personally I wouldn't go anyway if that is how he treats his staff. It really should be turned around yearly so everyone is treated fairly or the guys who are working get drinks/dinner another night.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (3 November 2017):
 Sadly people will always have their favourites and treat them accordingly. It is highly unprofessional but there is probably not a lot you can do about it for this year. Is there any way you can ask that people take turns at working on the party night so that, perhaps next year, YOU can attend?
I hope you have a wonderful Xmas regardless.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2017): I agree with Honeypie.
I understand that it's hard feeling rejected, but your boss is an a**hole and a horrible manager, who doesn't know a first thing about building a good team.
I suppose that this kind of favoritism is visible everywhere not just when organizing this (stupid) Christmas party. If so, that's a much bigger concern.
Enjoy the holidays and don't play their game. It's rigged.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 November 2017):
 They only have one party?
If so, I would rather miss it. If you have a boss playing favorites for who gets to party then that IS a party I rather miss. Can you imagine the ass-kissing galore here?
There are WAY more important things in life than a ridiculous Christmas party. Personally, I wouldn't sweat it.
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