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Cheating with sexual texts, visting female friends etc

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 July 2010)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

The guy I'm seeing for the last year and half has texted someone sexual text message asking if she was still coming over and then if she would"---" on his face"..There has been some other questionable actions, Ie "visiting A friend from high school days" -I know he didnt have sex with her but he did stay the night (and painted, he's an artist). But I later found emails/texts where they were both talking about their "current bf/gf as "drama". Before that I found out he went to a "famous caSTLE" with a girl and her son he had used drugs with right before i met him. I confronted him and he of course downplayed the castle girl/and visiting friend, actually telling me that it should be okay for him to see a female friend, I disagree because of what they talked about. After all that, he said he wouldnt do something like that again...

The sexual text message was just recent, i was in utter shock...actually "i know its not good but I accessed his voicemail and found out she didnt want to see him. But he did try...He also has drug problem, that is probably adding to the "sex thing" as far as seeking out others. We are in long distance 2 hr apart relationship. He does seem to want to stop drug use, but even if that did happen , should I try to trust him as far as the other things mentioned(and there is more). Right now, I find it impossible not to check his texts/etc and he gets irritated but still does not want to lose me, shouldnt he be open to letting me see that I really am about to give up. All I feel is numbness,and hurt from being treated like a fool, not sure why some people can walk away so easy and others find it more difficult to do that.

View related questions: drugs, long distance, text

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (14 July 2010):

xanthic agony auntHe doesn't have any respect for you. Move on, find someone else.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (13 July 2010):

Oh dear. Drugs and cheating, and an LDR. Basically, this is the perfect storm. The bottom line is this guy is utterly worthless as a boyfriend. Utterly worthless. He's clearly cheating via texts, and realistically he's probably done it with these other women as well. He's on drugs, which is something that you shouldn't be around. He's not even doing anything to reassure you. Not a thing. Now, you're not a fool. But to stay with him would be a bad choice. This guy is on drugs, has cheated several times, and is doing nothing to stop either behaviour. You NEED to walk away from this guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010):

Dump him , no questions asked.

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