New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Cheating men and pornography..what can I do?

Tagged as: Cheating, Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I was wondering what do I do?

My dad has had issues with watching porn in the past. It was never really a big concern of mine because I thought it was just something guys do. Then just recently my dad has found another woman online (my dad is still married and living with my mom). He got a webcam and talks to the girl online. She is always naked and showing her body to my dad. My mom knows about this and told my dad to cut it out. My dad still does it but now behind her back. I know because I've seen him do this plenty of times and he's always on the computer now. I know my mom blames herself saying she isnt having sex with him anymore but I feel like my dad is still cheating on her. I don't respect him at all.

I recently got involved in a situation similar only the guy wasn't married. He had a girlfriend of several years and he still is trying to be involved in my life. Before I thought it was all her that they weren't really together that she wasn't around and etc. But now I feel like maybe that's not the case at all and I feel disgusted that I let that go on. I know I didn't cause him to cheat because he pursued me nonstop and didn't leave me alone. But at the same time I added fuel to the fire. Now I am disgusted by the whole situation.

What should I do about my dad and about this guy?

View related questions: porn

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009):

Hi. You need to get that guy out of your life unless youre sure he isnt already spoken for and just using you. As for your father. The fact that hes doing it in front of you is wrong and messed up. Im not sure why your mother blames herself but the simple cure is for her to throw the pc out. Or invite him to leave and join the `lady` thats exposing her body parts to him in their home! It sounds as if your father has been exposed to too much internet porn and its affected his morals. Hope your mother can sort out their marriage but she has to make the effort. Its not something you can do for her im afraid.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009):

im going through the exact same thing but i dont think my mother knows so what i do i try to confront my dad and ask him why does he does that, then tell i tell him its makes me really sad. now he seems like an junkie who always has four beers everyday. just talk to your dad then play the guilt trip game about the things he does to you and your mother

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2009):

Miamine agony auntStep out of your parents marriage, it's nothing to do with you, and it's not up to you to judge them. Whatever your dad is doing wrong, it's for your mother to fix and sort out. You don't know what happens behind the bedroom door, maybe he has his reasons.

Now as to your own problems. "I know I didn't cause him to cheat because he pursued me nonstop and didn't leave me alone" (quote) You must take responsibility for your own actions. It dosen't matter if he chased you, or begged you or whatever. You made the decision to fool arround with this guy, after you knew he was seeing someone else. I would have a good talk to him, see if he's properly single, and ask him to make some kind of commitment to you. Maybe taking you out with his friends, introducing you as his girlfriend, introducing you to his family, some firm commitment so you know your properly his girl and not a "piece of ass on the side".. If he's busy and has someone else, well, who wants to be second best and have to share? Dump him if he's not single, because he's a player and using you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009):

your dads problems are his own perhaps the lady is making him feel special, as for u your young and will make mitakes in life do not be to hard on yourslf we all have moments of weeknes if it was not you it would be someone else.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2009):

First of all, get rid of this guy. Cut him out of your life. A man who cheats of his girlfiend isn't worth that much time. You can do better. A relationship takes time to develop, and this guy is just after one thing.

As for your father, I think you need to tell him that what he's doing is really ruining your relationship with him because you can't respect a man who is effectively cheating with your mother (which he is to be honest). hopefully, he'll listen. Also, it might be worth you getting counselling just so you can speak about how you feel with someone who can advise you and help you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Cheating men and pornography..what can I do?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0156311999962782!