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Jeni_luvvedup
writes: I have just found out my boyfriend of two years has cheated on me again! He slept with this irl 6 times behind my back about 18 months ago, and i found out bits at a time, it dragged on for ages and still hurts real bad. But recently a girl told me she was seeing him behind my back. He denied it, but eventually said he slept with her once when we had fell out. He promised that was all, so i decided to try again with him, yesterday however i found out, during an argument that he had been with her more than that, now he swears thats all, but i still cant believe him as he has always lied and lied. Im hurting so so much, i feel crushed. I also found out recently (about a week ago) that im pregnant, about 4/5 weeks. I really feel stuck, i dont want to go on feeling this way, its unbearable. What can i do to make the pain ease off a bit???
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2006): I'll start a conversation with you and see if reply because I don't think this question is answered with one simple 'speech'.Basically I've been in this situation. Countless number of people telling me they had lept with my boyfriend and I loved him so it hurt. Only difference between me and you is that he NEVER admitted it, not even to this date, he still leaves a shadow of doubt cast over my mind, which isn't fair.....I felt insecure iwth him and incomfortable. When I got pregant I has actually split up with him because he had cheated in front of me. I was adamant I wouldn't talk to him again but I had to cause I was pregnant... He was so happy, it was meant o be the most happiest part of my life, but it wasn't.I was thinking... I'm going to end up having a baby with a man I don't trust and no matter how much I want this to be a fairytail, for him to be a faithful prince charming... It was never going to happen. If I have this baby I have to put up with his bulls**t forever.I stayed with him as a couple but I also had an abortion, which really hurt. Over a year on it still brings me down, but I think I done the right thing. When I have my first child it will be because with soemone who knows what respect is, not because I fell pregant with a controlling man that I couldn't trust. I think I done the right thing by myself and my partner. It's not easy but who said life was going to be a walk in the park... I just think that above all else you've got to rise above your emotions in this difficult tim and decide what you really want and do it... Whether you have the baby or not... as long as you're doing what YOU want you will be ok.....What do you think?
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reader, kirstylouise  +, writes (2 August 2006):
Hi there, not really sure if i should be congratulating you onthe baby front or not but congratulations all the same!!!
Im sorry that someone has treated you this way! The pain your feeling is normal but only you have control over allowing it to consume you or not. dont waste your time or energy on this man he's not worth it, it sound as though you could do so much better.
I think you need to take things one step at a time first of all does your partner know about the baby? If I were you I would hold of telling him (if you haven't already) just until you've gathered your thoughts and you know how your going to proceed with him and this situation. I wouldn't say dump him solely for cheating (although it is a dumping offence) but do you really want to be with someone who can look you in the eyes and swear to you nothing happened when they know it has. It sounds as though lying is all to easy for this guy and i think he has humiliated you enough - its time to get out!!!
I think you then need to sit down and think long and hard about what it is you want out of life. I really think you need some time on your own. The pain will start to ease with time but for now you need to hold your head up high and carry on as normal. Im so sorry you feel so bad, i just wish i had more words of comfort for you. Please take care and come back on to let us know how it all went as i you sound like an amazing young lady. i really hope that you come through this xXx
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