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Can't get over his cheating on me

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 December 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

A relationship of a year ended at the beginning of June. I talked to him before we parted way and felt like I got the closure that I needed. I got over it quite quickly and starting seeing other people.

It only just so happens that I ended up on his fb profile yesterday to realise that he had become fb official with a girl he had been going for drinks with and taking out when he was with me, exactly 3 weeks after we had split up. This set me back a lot to where I was when we first split as I had already gotten over the relationship but now I have to get over being cheated on and being lied to.

It feel like such a betrayal and I'm getting sleepless nights over it. Please help

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (21 December 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntYou cannot be sure that he cheated on you so there really is no point opening up a can off worms. He moved on quickly as did you now you need to block his social media, stop snooping and carry on with your life.

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A female reader, missy_25 United States +, writes (17 December 2016):

I know how you must feel betrayed. You had an image of him differently when you broke up than you have now and somehow that made you question yourself and maybe your feelings for him.

Be angry or sad, that's normal but also think about the fact that he chose to be with her instead of you and you deserve better being with someone who would choose you, who would rather have your company than with other girls because you are worthy of it.

I think one of the best ways to avoid that is to get busy doing positive things you love with other people who shares your passion too. Drugs, alcohol or one night stands are never a good idea because it will only make you feel worse once it wears off. I think if you surround yourself with things that you care about, you'll be too busy to even think about him. Learn to accept that it's over, why it's better that it's over and then plan on a happy future for yourself without him. Once you focus on that, you'll stop having those painful emotions that will cripple you from being the best version of yourself that you can be.

What you feel is normal but don't let it affect you too much too long. You are free now to do whatever you want without having to worry about being in a relationship. Savor being single and independent. You'll meet new people along the way. Good luck!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 December 2016):

Honeypie agony auntAt some point OP, you are going to have to CHOOSE whether you want HIM to continue to make you miserable or just LET HIM GO. That means NO creeping on his FB page, and starting to NOT care who he is seeing. YOU two are no longer together and honestly? If he is a cheater you ARE better off without him. Don't you think?

Or you can wallow in this misery if you rather do that.

He was a cheater, OF COURSE, he was a liar too! But you NEED to not only accept he was a piece of crap BF, but that YOU should NOT hold yourself RESPONSIBLE for his actions. YOU didn't do anything to "make" him cheat, to "make" him lie. THAT is who he is. THAT is how he treats girls. WHY, you might ask? Probably because he is young and immature and selfish.

If banging your head against a brick wall gives you a headache, you'd stop doing that, wouldn't you?

If stalking his FB page makes you feel crappy, STOP doing it.

Don't GIVE him all this power over you anymore. The relationship is OVER, he wasn't a good BF you are NOT missing out on anything with THAT guy.

Time to LET it go. Be a "survivor" instead of a "victim" of cheating. You are doing yourself NO favors by keep spending time, energy and emotions on a guy who IS NOT worth it.

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