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Can you move from the 'friends ladder' back to the 'good ladder' if its an ex?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 February 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, *eadEyeDick writes:

Alright, I just saw the question asked by another member, and I want to take it one step further, and then maybe even a step further then that, Someone on here told me about the Ladder Theory, which I think is brilliant, my question, lets say you've recently broke up with a Ex, or divorced, and you've been relegated to the "friends" ladder, is there anyway of being taken off the friends ladder, and put back on the good ladder? has anyone figured it out? does that time spent with the girl earlier help or hurt your chances? this of course is direct with the assumption your relationship didn't end horribly, or violently, just under the assumption that you were put onto the friends ladder, but had previously been on the good ladder? have you been able to swing this trick? and if so what did you do since she already knew you, and had been with you?

View related questions: broke up, divorce, violent

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A male reader, DeadEyeDick United States +, writes (28 February 2010):

DeadEyeDick is verified as being by the original poster of the question

DeadEyeDick agony auntDenise32, I was asking this question because I try to think up semi-intresting questions, and post them to see what people say, you seem to be giving an answer that re-directs the oringinal question, of course what you say is true, but not everyone is in that boat, your reply is common sense, and if you cant tell by reading most of what goes on here, common sense isnt what generally prevails(although lifes would be easier if it did)so my question was just that, if someone has attempted and been successful at doing it, how was it done? Frank good response bro!!

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A male reader, Frank B Kermit Canada +, writes (28 February 2010):

Frank B Kermit agony auntYes it is possible...the fact that she is your ex makes it easier (assuming you already had sex with her). If you did not have sex with each other, then it will be harder.

The key is to show CHANGE. It is the same formula used to turn go From Friends To Lovers.

I use the terms Categories instead of ladders.

Love is not blind...categories are rigid.

The only way to get out of one category is

1-Take some time away from her

2-Change

3-let her re-enter your life when the change is complete, and be able to demonstrate that.

Usually the "change" involved means that you have eliminated all the behaviors you exhibited that made her feel like your "mother" instead of your "lover".

In case you were wondering, I have used my formula to get women who rejected me years before to eventually become my lovers, turned an enemy into a lover and finally I used it to get back my ex-fiance after 7 years apart.

I wrote all about it in my autobiography From Loser to Seducer, and spell out the formula in From Friends to Lovers. You can check out free previews of my books and audio-books at my website for the above mentioned programs.

How this helps.

-Frank Kermit

http://www.franktalks.com

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (28 February 2010):

Denise32 agony auntI've never heard about the "ladder" theory. I wonder though, why, if you have recently been divorced or broken up with a woman you'd want to remain friends?

I'm not saying it was a nasty breakup, or that she's horrible, just that you both need to move on with your lives separately, and staying friends can hinder that - especially if the one who got dumped secretly hopes to get back together again.

As for getting back together, it would work ONLY if the reason for the split and problems that caused it, can be resolved to each other's mutual satisfaction.

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