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Can you fall in love with someone over the phone?

Tagged as: Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 July 2005) 16 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2012)
A female , anonymous writes:

Is it possible to fall in love with someone you havent met in person yet?? I feel I have fell in love with my soulmate!

We talk on the phone all the time but with our schedules not meeting up is the only thing that is keeping us apart!

Not to mention we live in 2 different countries!

Is it wrong to feel this way?

View related questions: different countries, fell in love, soulmate

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A female reader, mamarosa United States +, writes (28 June 2012):

I can't believe that I have to say this began to happen to me twice, with similar results.

Two old college friends contacted me (1.5 yrs apart) and each of them expressed their love for me, and how I was 'special'. Calling every couple days, in the first case, and every single day for the second guy for 5-6 months.

In the first case, I got on a plane and had a planned visit of 10 days. I was 'dismissed' in 36 hours as he said: I'm not feeling any sparks. And that he would rather die alone than 'settle'. I was on a plane out of there asap.

The second was much more painful, after six months, I used my skymiles and got him a ticket to see me (I know, I know). He managed to cancel within 24 hrs of the flight, siting (believe it or not) a 'flesh eating bacteria'.

His calling got more sparce, only once every couple or few days. I thought he was dealing with this health issue. Some 4 weeks later, after only hurried superficial phone calls, he tells me he met someone.

BUT he wants to be close to me! I'm "so special". I found that ridiculous. He persisted in contacting me by phone and email for 2 weeks.

I wrote two lengthy emails explaining how I felt he was deceptive and how I wanted a truly connected, loving, intimate relationship, and I could not have that with someone's boyfriend.

The lesson I've learned is that even old friends, who you know are legitimate, are capable of hurting you. Now think of what perfect strangers could do.

I need to learn that the words men say area empty. All the 'I love you's" and "you mean the world to me" and you are so 'special' don't mean anything. And my reaction should be: uh, huh.....whatever.....

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A male reader, LostInLoveNy United States +, writes (10 June 2008):

Yeah....if the person you are talking to over the phone is honest and real with you i dont see why you couldn't.I mean i know first hand i met this girl over the phone going on 8 months soon and it the best relationship i have ever been in. We do know how each other looks but we haven't met yet but soon we might go to a baseball game next week( i hope),but anyway when you talk to someone over the phone there is no physical attraction between the two of you because you guys haven't met there is nothing but honest emotions flowing around so is it possible for two people who never met to fall in love only by talking on the phone then my answer is yess,and good luck to you.

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A female reader, lizzy101 United States +, writes (1 June 2008):

yes you can totally fall in love over the phone...I fell in love with my exboyfriend that ive never met...but thats not the point the point is that if you meet the person thats ment 4 u over the phone it is possible 2 fall in love it really is

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007):

I believe you can if he makes you happy then you should meet him if you don't you will regret it later and see how it goes from there if its meant to be it will work out... good luck

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A female reader, Belle921 United States +, writes (16 October 2007):

"I want to know if it is possible to fall in love with

someone over the phone who works for the same company

that I do but he lives in another state and I live in another. And we haven't seen each other. Everytime I speak with him on the phone he makes me nervous."

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007):

I did that for 5 years, and then finally we met up and immediately got in a relationship...it didn't work out because he was the opposite of what you "think" he is on the phone...the connection on the phone, long conversations, feeling like you "met the one" feeling is there,,,just be careful not to rush things when you do finally meet him...it is not the same as in the phone, as in person, its like meeting someone different, starting from scratch,,,mine didn't last long, 6 months,,,trying to get over it...i thought i was "in love", turns out that i just "love" as a friend, and you might think it is love, but it might just be attachment, i hope it works out for you, and...be careful!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007):

im only a young teenager, but i think it is very possible. maybe when you meet in person, his manly shallowness will make him completely unnatracted to you, and you might get your heart broken but the way i see it is all those laughs and things you talked about on the phone were probably worth it. I dont know how great love can be without being able to hold hands, hug or kiss, but im sure it exists over the phonea Also i do believe your maybe just falling in love with a dream. Its nice to dream about though right. Its all just big and confusing. Have fun while your doing it, and dont ever regret something that made you smile.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007):

No it is not wrong to feel this way. Making a connection with someone, in whatever manner, is a beautiful thing. However, the most important thing is that you eventually do meet this person. You can't go on forever with long distance. I mean after all if you never get to kiss someone, how would you ever really feel their love?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007):

you are falling in love with your own perception of him. on the phone he can give you the whole world with words. its only when a relationship is tested by everday troubles that you can asess its strength. that's when its real, untill you meet him, you are falling in love with your own dream .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2006):

yes it is possible.it happened to me..

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A female reader, lovemeoverthephone17 +, writes (8 March 2006):

Well i am 17 years old and i have been talking to this guy over 5 months now and i feel like i am inlove because i have never felt this way and even though my parents do not agree when i turn 18 in nov. i plan on meeting him....so i think you can fall inlove with someone over the phone....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2006):

yes

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A female reader, jess18maine United States +, writes (28 July 2005):

jess18maine agony auntYes Hun, falling in love is possiable over the phone. I meet my man online and we talked on the phone and computer for 8 months. We have exchanged pictues, gifts, letters, my family knows about him, his family knows about me. I love him, I have never felt this way about sumone ever, I did not know i could love sumone this much. I will be meeting him in 2 weeks, IN PUBLIC! I turst him, but I'm also being smart. We live in the same state luckly, but it's still quite a drive! I guess in your situation, I say what the hell do you have to lose meet the guy you love. If you don't u will alwasy wonder. I know that there is physical attraction there for me and my man thou. Make sure you see a pic of him b4 you meet him just to make sure you still feel it. I'm not saying your shallow, but everyone needs an ounce of physical attraction. Also put time into getting to know him before declaring ur love 4 him. Know him inside and out, I'm not saying wait 8 months but don't waste a plane ticket. Do you know what kind of family man he makes? do you have the same religion? What do you both feel about smoking? Make sure you know the details, so when you meet him your not like wow, he's a loser. Don't get my wrong I'm scared as hell to meet my guy but I know it's sumthing I have to do. I want him to be the father of my kids, he's great. I hope what you have is just as great. I wish I could know more, but I wish the best of luck to you. Also before you go to meet him make sure a family member of friend knows what your going to do, and make sure they have his name and all. Just to be safe. To be in love is to beable to discuss anything, can you talk about ne thing with him. they say you cant be in love with sumone until u have cryed over them. I dont know how true that is but hey it's just sumthing to think about. also I read an artical about love and lust in "Pshycology Today" and it said you have to be with your b/f for over 2 months before you move from lust to love because durring lust yous just physically attracted to them and want them in a sexually way only, but i guess its differnt in our cases because we really have not seen the real them yet to fall for on a sexual level. although he does make me happy in lots of ways! Just giving you something to think about. I have fmaily that disagree with my new dating style but its pretty much because they hear so much bad about internet dating and girls being kid napped after meeting the guy, so just be smart and safe when meeting him, I suggest your own country! just because thats safer! plus what country is he from? are they a 3rd world country? do they like violence? are men adn women equal in that country? very important! Good luck Hun... fill me in with how it goes!

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A reader, becky05 +, writes (27 July 2005):

Possibly you have fallen in love with her personality. The risk is that you will not be attracted to her when you meet in the flesh.

It certainly isnt wrong to feel this way unless you are harmoing others which you dont appear to be doing.

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A female reader, sickofitkelly +, writes (22 July 2005):

YES it is possible. It happened to me. We met after 9 months and are now closer then ever. We do live in the same country, but not within driving distance. Follow your heart!

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A reader, pops +, writes (22 July 2005):

It is unless you are under 20. Then its normal. Yes, People fall in love over the phone, but this often ends quickly once a face to face meeting happens. Arrange to meet this secret passion of yours in person. If he is everything you dreamed of, and more, then go for it. If not, you won't be wasting your time on the phone so much. Most people, me included, find that people they talk to on the phone who have nice phone voices and personalities just don't meet expectations in person. Good Luck.

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