| A ,
anonymous
writes: I have a a serious problem with my boyfriend. We have been together about 15 months and we also live together. Lately he has been lying about everything. From little things to big things. On top of all that our sex life is also suffering. During sex he keeps bring up my ex sister in law (my brothers ex wife)and saying things like he would like to have a 3 some with her and also that he wants to have sex with her. He also says when he sees her thats what he is thinking of. When I confront him and tell him how it makes me feel, all he says is he doesn't mean it and that it was said in the heat of passion. I have found my self distancing myself from him and I am not even feeling and kind of sexual towards him. He knows how I feel and that it hurts. Is there hope for him and I or is this just an affair waiting to happen? He also tries to be controlling but I am pretty independent and I do my own thing anyways. I am getting some bad vibes here and I don't know how to handle this. HELP!
View related questions:
affair, ex-wife, my ex, sex life, sister in law Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, niki, writes (25 February 2005): Listen i have been in a similar situatiuon, although it was a friend who my boyfriend was talking about, it really hurt but he didnt seem to understand that and we started to grow further and further apart. However, he noticed this too and apologised for it, he didnt want to jeapordise what we had for some girl who he would probably never be able to make a move on anyway, not that he would go through with it if he did! so we just got on with things.I know this isn't exactly the same, your boyfriend saying that things were said in the heat of passion makes it all the more worse to be honest, shouldnt he be thinking about you in the heat of passion??All guys eyes will wander now and again, they need this to keep themselves happy, i dont know why but in all my past relationships i have got jealous over things which would never really have become a huge threat. Me and my boyfriend worked our problem out and it really isn't an issue now, but i think you need to ask yourself why he is lying to you so much and why he would be thinking about other women? it may just be due to the long time you have been together-and him being a typical man who cant understand how you feel about this!-or just because he is being thoughtless towards you. You need to tell him how you feel and if he doesnt understand and carries on hurting you he really isnt worth it!If this doesnt change do you really want to be second best to this other woman?
A reader, Kavs, writes (25 February 2005): I totally agree with the previous readder, your boyfreind seems really inconsiderate on your feelings, it seems to me that he is just using you to fufill his fantasies that he is having about you sis in law. even if he does stop his lewd remarks im sure you wouldnt be able to shake of the images embedded from those disgusting remarks.Give him a taste of his own medicine by making lewd remarks about the most appealing, gorgouse, hunky guy either in his family or close freind.That should get him thinking of what a jerk he has been.
...............................
A
reader, Devil's Advocate +, writes (20 February 2005):
 This guy sounds like a complete prick. He's unthoughtful in what he says about your sis in law and an arse for saying those things to you, he shouldn't even be thinking that sort of thing.GET RID!
...............................
|
