A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for a few years now and recently i met a girl and she moved in with me and my wife, i have got children with my wife and after sitting down and talking for a long while we decided it would be best that we stay together but introduce someone else into our relationship.i have been with my gf for nearly a year and she has moved in with us now and things are going great but she asked me that if i saw a future with her, i said yes but i also want to be with my wife.i cant choose as i love both women and both women love me, can i live like this?
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female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 Yes it is possible, but you will have a hard fight to keep it. There is the judgement of society to contend against as well as the natural jealousies and conflicts of the relationship ~ times 2! Actually you have 4 relationships here now. Yours and your wifes, yours and your girlfriends, the two women and the group as a whole. Honesty, trust and love and paramount to the sucess of this relationship. Very few people are capable of succeeding in this path. I have a friend who has been married for about 35 years. His wife has had several boyfriends on and off with one of them living with them for a while. Now his girlfriend of 14 years has moved in with them and they are enourmously happy! It IS possible, but it wont be easy!
A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (22 October 2008):
 Hello,
Was watching a documentary on Mormon lifestyle just yesterday. Yours seems to be somewhat similar, research on the Mormans, maybe that will help you answer some of the questions.
PS.: in Morman religion women ARE jealous of each other, but they do choose this lifestyle for the reward that awaits for them in their next life - becomming a goddess. Something tells me your wife isn't doing it for this reason...
Best of luck x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (22 October 2008):
There was a documentary on about polygamy last night. Have a look on the net to see if you can watch it again online or if it is repeated. It was on Channel 4 I think.
If you can support both women then you could give it a go but very few people will ever understand how it works and be accepting of it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, ithacachris +, writes (22 October 2008):
have you seen the film "viky christina barcelona"
it involves an artist living together with his long time girlfriend and a new lover. great film, and really interesting.
but i don't know how in hell you could make it work.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): I'm more concerned about the children, it's not very normal or right for them to grow up in a house hold like that, It be totally fine if there was no kids! but there are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): It is a custom in certain African Cultures; I am not familiar with the traditional rules and laws but the ANC President Jacob Zuma with his four wifes might be able to share info on the matter if you ask him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Might sound like a great idea now, but what about the future? Anyways, why dont you ask the wife if there is a man who she would like to join in??? Wonder if then you would be so keen to do this?
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A
female
reader, PsychicDove  +, writes (22 October 2008):
 Perhaps just ask yourself, that if your wife did this to you, would you accept living with another male sharing your wife's bed and lead this kinda threesome life. If your conscience says YUP, then maybe you and your wife resonate on the same wavelength and you have great mutual compatibility so there you go, you got an answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Unless you're in a particularly well paid job, it's possible that your wallet will make any decisions for you!
Well, they do this sort of thing in some religions, with as many as ten wives, but it's usually some oil sheikh or other where money is no object.
I've got enough of a problem keeping one woman and no kids. God knows how I'd manage with two women and more than two kids! Still, I suppose if you had an argument with one of them you could go to the other - same applies when one of them has 'got the painters in'.
Best of luck mate - you might need it.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (22 October 2008):
 Actually, I know a couple that are doing this and they are really happy. I dont know why or how it works (its beyond me) but it works for them. They have even decided between them all, that the younger girl who joined them will have a baby. I must admit I find it all very odd, but it seems to be going ok. And the wife is also ok about the girl sharing the bed with her husband and having a baby. The funny thing is that the girl only gets jealous if the wife gets chatted up, and not her hubby.
Hey!! go figure.... Good luck
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check +, writes (22 October 2008):
 In the short term, maybe this can work if it is what you all want right now....but in the long term HELL NO!
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