A
female
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:Can traumatic experiences effect your sexuality?Or maybe not your sexuality even, maybe just effect your sexual preferences.My dad cheated on my Mum and the whole thing really got to me.now I get a thrill out of being the 'other woman' so to speak.I have a lot of bad experience with men, my sister was sexually abused while I was in the house. I was hit on by my step uncle. And my Dad turned out to be a big lying jerk!I am young, I am sexually under age! I know this.Yet I have this need to flirt with older men, much older. But i would think that becasue of past experiences I would be wiser in that area. But I'm not, I'm stupid but I can't help it, I just have this need to flirt innapropriately, it's like I have this urge to break rules. I don't know what's wrong with me.Does anyone else feel this way?
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female
reader, eidden06 +, writes (15 July 2008):
I have a sister that is now 30 years old who was molested by a family member when she was about 10. At the time, she also flirted inappropriately and always seemed to try to get attention from the opposite sex. Now that she is 30 she admits that being molested really affected her decisions with men and she has gone through a lot of turmoil trying to figure out by herself. I don't know how old you are, but I would suggest that you speak with someone about your concerns.
A
female
reader, hayhay123  +, writes (15 July 2008):
I think you should watch out flirting with older men, many of them are married and an angry wife is not something you want on your ass.
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A
female
reader, JennayyyCx3 +, writes (14 July 2008):
 I know a few people that feel that way. It seems that girls who dont have a close relationship with their fathers have an urge to seek male attention for the attention they are missing at home. Maybe i'm wrong on this, but i've seen girls with similar "flirting" problems before and it seems logical. I grew up with a functional relationship with my dad so i got all of the love and attention i could recieve from him, and you probably didnt. And since hes a male and you have not received proper love from him, that could lead you to seek it out on other older men..this is just my theory so its not proven or anything.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (14 July 2008):
 Never say "can't" because that word shouldn't exist in us humans. You recognize that flirting with older guys is bad, and that's a start. And it's not "breaking the rules" when you're flirting with an older guy, it's just acting stupid. Actually, HE'S the one who's breaking the rules since they only qualify you as the "innocent victim".
Now, like I said, the word can't shouldn't be said by any human because with enough perseverance and sweat, you can do anything. Try to control yourself around older guys. I know you can. Try to keep telling yourself "This is bad for me and this makes me look like a bad person" many many times.
There's nothing wrong with fantasizing, as long as you don't act upon it. One thing is knowing and another thing is understanding and you understand well what are the negative effects on being the "other woman".
Now, not every man is bad and you should always remember this. There are many men out there who aren't cheaters or abusers, the trick is to know how to pick them. Try to get to know a person before getting involved with them, and don't try to rush things in the relationship because you would be less appreciated for that.
I never felt this way, but I was a confused teen once. Actually, I'm still confused about a lot of stuff. The trick here is to make wise decisions about everything you do, but still love for mistakes and to learn from them.
You have wised up more than a lot of girls your age. You recognize your behavior is not good and you probably wish change or understanding, and I appreciate you for that. If you ever feel down like this, just remember that it doesn't matter how many times a person falls, but how many times a person gets up.
Good luck
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