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Can Someone pull these knives out of my back? 2 friends are muscling in on my love interest. What do I do?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 June 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2011)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Yesterday TWO of my best friends stabbed me in the back! There's a guy that I have a huge crush on, we don't really talk that frequently, but when a whole group of us were going to hang out together, I was gonna make a move on this guy.

So, I told my friends "Hey, I have a crush on this guy. Can you, like, not interuppt us when we get some alone time? I just really want to spend some time with him." So, they agreed and were happy that I was going after him.

While I was alone with this guy we were just talking and listening to music, then my friend, Anna, decided to sit with us. Then she was saying about how much she loved his taste in music. That's not all she did either! While our group of friends were going for a walk, he and I were talking and he had mentioned that he wanted to travel to Spain over the summer. So, of course, Anna popped into our conversation and said, "I have family in Spain! I go there every year and I'm going this summer! I can speak fluent Spanish!" So, while they were talking in Spanish and saying that it would be cool if they went to Spain together, I was getting really mad. Then, everybody was playing flag football (except Anna) and she went over to the guy I liked and asked if he could show her the "proper" way to throw a football.

The next day one of my school friends said that my other best friend, Erica (who was also with us, but actually didn't flirt with that guy), had a crush on him, and was telling everyone! And they all said that he and I looked cute together. I was so hurt that two of my BEST friends would turn on me like this.

What should I do?

And also we're ALL going on a road trip for a week, that's when I really wanted to get to know him, but now I know my friends would be all over him.

What can I do about that?

View related questions: best friend, crush, flirt, move on

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A female reader, Y_v United Kingdom +, writes (6 June 2011):

Y_v agony auntOKayy soo this sounds kind of baad :/

First things first. Always remember. Bros before hoes or Chicks before dicks. Seriously. No matter how gorgeous this guy is, you must choose your friends over him. So your friends may not be the perfect best friends ever but you've got to remember when this guy goes, you're left with your best friends. Its better to get on with your friends than a random cute guy.

There's plenty of fish in the sea. i know i love my sayings but they're true. Don't let this one guy get in the way of your friendship. Let your friends know that they can fight over him if they want but you however won't sink down to that level. You never know, they might actually like the guy only because you started liking him. They might just be your followers :)

Haha it seems like this guy is obviously cutest of the cute. But appearances can be decieving. Concerning this road trip if you have other friends, other than Erica or Anna, just hang out with them. Act cool. If the guy sees you acting cooler and not full on as the other 2, you never know, he might just be interested.

Enjoy this road trip, don't skip it just because you're trying to avoid competition? Get in there and search for other cute guys, you have potential my friend :)

hope this helpsx

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (6 June 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntI see that Anna knew you liked him, but was Erica aware of your crush?

Anna is good, interrupting your conversation and selling herself, then trying to participate in some football. She's one to watch out for.

You could pull them aside and have a word with them that you had dibs first on him, and if they're any kind of friend to you they will back off. However, they're going to do what they want and they probably won't listen. Unfortunately, guys come between friendships all the time.

Here's your only options:

A. Ditch your friendship with Anna and Erica. Also avoid this road trip because it will be nothing but drama. 3 girls vying for the same guy's attention is a recipe for disaster. Seriously, no one will enjoy their time. Then write off your crush.

B. If you think this guy is worth it, then let the games begin. Anna seems pretty competitive so you might have to work pretty hard to win this guy's heart.

In conclusion, I'd end the friendship with Anna and Erica and make an effort to get to know your crush with more alone time. Talking to him when there's a group around isn't benefitting you. That means asking him out on a date.

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