A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a long distance relationship with a British man for eight years. Although our relationship is fantastic when we are together, I've caught him trying to cybercheat on me several times. He loves women's attention, and has several female friends he keeps ibn contact with regularly, via texs or emails, as far as I know.This morning, I got online on msn and after a minute he did, too. My cam was not working,I closed that account and went to another one I have, but he was offline there. I kept trying. He was visible to one of my accounts, invisible to the other. My assumption was he had blocked me. I told him and he said he'd blocked every account (including my second one) except the one I mostly use. But one can't block a contact by mistake!Then he said his status was offline, but he'd chosen to be visible to only me.I assume he had me blocked on both accounts, and had only unblocked one of them, forgetting to unblock the other. He's now totally furious I can suspect him(although he'd done it in the past), and has even hung up on me when I've called him.Can you give me an outside opinion, please? Am I making a mistake?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 January 2012):
 I will buy the not wanting to give up a good job to move... so why do you continue with this relationship and not try to find someone closer... my fiance just gave up a home of 10 years and is risking the loss of a very good job to move down here with me and kids...
they grow once they are adults and can be easily left...heck my kids left me, my dad moved over 24 hours drive away....
sounds like excuses to me.
also sounds to me like Ciar has it just right and if ONE name can see it but not the others he's blocked those names... and I'm betting they are blocked on purpose.
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (7 January 2012):
 I guess that depends on the service you're using. MSN and Yahoo allow one to block specific people or appear offline to everyone. I'm pretty sure Skype does as well.If he appears online on one of your accounts but not on the other then he has blocked you. Like I said earlier, it is possible that he meant to block someone else with a name close to yours and clicked on you by mistake (I have done that myself) but if he has a history of cheating (or trying to cheat) then I would say it was no accident.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): Sorry not to be able to verify I am the one who asked. I have no clue how to do it,as I can't find the code I was given.
For those of you who wondered. We are both too old to get new jobs and relocate to a different country, besides having children from previous marriages who cannot be left behind.
My question was: Can you choose to appear offline to everyone in one go, and then appear online to just one person.
Thanks again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2012): This LDR is wasting your precious time. It doesn't really matter if he blocked you or not does it......the main thing is after all these years you are STILL long distance.
He probably has a few women he chats to, mostly in the UK I suspect and he has more than likely met with a few.
I would block him, hard as it is, be brave and move on.Leave him to his bizarre online life because your worth more.
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A
female
reader, Ciar + ♥, writes (7 January 2012):
His story is plausible if he had tried to blocked someone else whose name was close to yours and clicked on yours by mistake. However in light of the fact that he's cheated before (trying to cheat and cheating are one in the same as far as I'm concenred) I believe he blocked you deliberately on one account but forgot to do it on the other.
I have to agree with So Very Confused. Eight years in an online relationship is far too long and rather unhealthy. If there weren't concrete plans for one or both to relocate within the year there then you've made a huge investment for nothing.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 January 2012):
The PRIMARY goal of an LDR is to NOT be an LDR any more.
IF after 8 years you guys are not married or living together this is as good as it gets.
Since you don't know what he does when you are not with him, you will never trust him will you?
My opinion: time to end this pretend relationship and move on. I know it's hard to see... I know it's hard to leave. IF you choose to stay you have to accept that he will block you and cyber cheat on you and maybe even meet up with someone when you are not around....
btw it won't end when you are together full time.. my ex husband is a texter, IMer flirter... he would not give those other women up for me..... but when I got a friend... he couldn't take it and left....
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 January 2012):
 I agree that you don't block people by mistake. I don't understand why he would block your accounts (actually, I don't understand why you would have several accounts, but that is another matter).
It is possible that he blocks you and then removes the block.
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