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Can I really be with someone that I can't rely on?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I split up after a very happy 2 years together. We split up because I felt I couldn't rely on him and after 2 months of being apart he wants to get back together. Splitting up with him was a very hard thing to do but I felt I had to do it even though it has left us both heartbroken.

When I say he's unreliable - he lets me down, he says he's going to do things and then doesn't follow through with them, he cancels plans we've made at the last minute, he makes promises he doesn't keep, he's always late, i could go on.

He is now saying he wants to prove his commitment by moving in with me, trying for another baby (we lost one through an ectopic pregnancy, and get engaged. I wanted him to move in with me whilst we were together and he kept saying he would but then always had an excuse not to.

I love him to pieces but can I really be with someone I can't rely on?

View related questions: engaged, get back together, heartbroken, split up

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A female reader, Miss Potter United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2009):

Miss Potter agony auntPersonally I wouldnt get back with him. Imagine that you are pregnant and you make plans to see a doctor together, first scan etc etc and he would be late for all those things or even not show up. Do you want a partner like that? Remember that you broke up for a REASON. Next time you want to get together remind yourself of all the dissapointments he has brought you.

Best of luck

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2009):

So you said you couldn't rely on him enough to commit, and his solution is to ask for more commitment without solving any of the problems first?

Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

If you want him back tell him that he cannot move in with you, you will NOT try for another baby and you will in NO WAY agree to marry him.

However tell him that if he wants another chance then he has to prove he's changed. Tell him all the things you expect from him and then just date him. Nothing more than dating and hanging out.

If he convinces you that he has completely stopped letting you down and will not re-start then you can move on to other things.

Good Luck!! xx

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