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Can I ever encourage this man to come back? He broke up with me after finding I was once engaged to another man

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Long distance, Marriage problems, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 April 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2016)
A female Nigeria age 30-35, *ynesimbi writes:

I met this guy one (Mr. X) and half years ago but we started dating about eight months ago. before him, I was previously engaged to another man, who called off the wedding just one week before.

We had had engagement ceremony, as is custom in my country.

when I started this new relationship with Mr X, I purposefully didn't inform him of my previous cancelled wedding basically because I wasn't proud of it and did not want to be judged wrongly.

Early this year, I finally told Mr.X about the marriage called off a week before and he was very shocked and disappointed that I hid it away from him for 14 months.

Now after two months of me begging him to forgive me and for us to work out our relationship again, he has ended everything.

I am devastated and depressed to say the least because I wanted this relationship to work out.

I am tired of dating again. we had a good relationship going on, until I told him about my marriage called off a week before the wedding, even though we are in two different continents.

Please what are the chances that he will contact me again for us to work out our relationship?

what can I do to rekindle this relationship? is it even possible that he still wants me in his life but doesn't know how to act on it?

I am broken and unhappy. please I am in dire need of help.

thank you.

View related questions: broke up, depressed, engaged, wedding

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2016):

The previous female anon said "I think if he broke up with you, there must have been other issues as well."

I disagree. Maybe there were other issues or maybe not. A breach of trust is enough to make some people break things off. This is especially true when it comes to men's reaction to lies about past relationships or sex.

If you want to rekindle this relationship then he needs to trust you again. First step, admit it was wrong to lie to him. I know you don't think the lie was a big deal but he did, and he is entitled to his own feelings no matter what you or anyone else think about them.

Explain to him that you understand why this is a big problem. It may not get him back but at least it's a start.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2016):

Yes, it was wrong of you to keep it from him; however, it's not a deal-breaker. You were just engaged to someone, you didn't even go through with the marriage. It doesn't seem like a big enough deal to break up with someone over. I think if he broke up with you, there must have been other issues as well.

I would just try to get over him. If he wants you, he'll come back. If not, oh well, his loss. If I were you, I wouldn't try to get him back anymore. It doesn't sound like your desperate pleas for forgiveness did anything but turn him off. And if he's that type of person, forget him. I would just move on.

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (24 April 2016):

GeeGee255 agony auntUnfortunately lying and/or omitting the truth about your first failed wedding for 8 months makes you look guilty or like you are hiding something. Now he may think the first man had a good reason for calling off the wedding, and he doesn't trust you anymore. I can not predict the future so I can't say whether or not he will ever take you back. If he does I recommend you tell him the truth the whole truth, and nothing but the truth....good luck to you hon.

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