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Can I be in love with two people? How do I choose between them?

Tagged as: Dating, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 March 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 March 2008)
A , anonymous writes:

Can i be in love with two people?

I'm at university. When i started i had a boyfriend from home of 6 months and coincidentally we were doing same course at same uni. Within the first week we broke up. The situation had changed so much, the summer i spent with him was the best of my life. It was so much fun, constantly doing things and hanging out with friends.

After about a month of university i found another guy who was so amazing with me, and we started going out. He would do anything for me and i thought we were in love.

These two could not be anymore different in their looks, attitude or values. The one from home is much more high risk, but the highs were amazing and in our 6 months there were no lows!! However the uni guy is a safer choice and so sweet i don't think i could hurt him.

Now im very confused i want them both depending on whether im at home or at uni - i lead to different lives and they each suit one of them! I'm at the point where one will get hurt, but my boyfriend (the uni guy) said to me ive got to do whatever makes me happy.

How do i choose?

View related questions: broke up, university

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008):

I definately know it is possible to be in love with 2 guys at once. I am currently pregnant and engaged to the most amazing loving guy who treats me like a princess, but for the last 6 months i have had these amazing feelings for this guy i work with. At one stage i questioned whether it was just purely physical at he is an very attractive guy who i have a great chemistry with, but it's not! over time the feelings have become so intense, i trust him so much and we have this amazing connection, people constantly think we are married because everything just feels so right and natural with us, did i mention he is married? it is a impossible situation and if people new of our feelings would condem us but i see it as a very sad situation i would not wish this on anyone. I can not imagine my life without either of them

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A reader, Martin +, writes (25 March 2005):

You can't love two boyfriends as you love two parents, it's a completely different kind of love. You have to decide quickly before they both come crashing down on you.

Make a list in your diary of both their positives and negatives, then destroy the list and your subconscious will tell you which one you really love and which one you lust after. Remember, you only get one chance on this planet and to love and be loved by the same person is a difficult situation to land in. So count yourself lucky, but ask yourself, "how much do I want to be loved and how much do I want to lust after someone"?

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A reader, Clueless +, writes (24 March 2005):

As you're at university you're going through a massive period of change, its natural to feel confused about who you are and what you want.

It seems to me that you've got to ask yourself; do I want a 'high-risk' boyfriend or a 'safe and sweet' boyfriend?

But surely someone who tells you to do whatever makes you happy would be a wise choice? I would advise making a decision soon though or risk hurting one or more of the people you care about.

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