A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I really need some advice right now. I am a complete mess. I have depression, have been on anti-depressants for several years. I have ups and downs, have had boyfriends who hurt me, but now i am with someone for 1 year that is truly fantastic. I am extremely insecure with friends, I always feel they dont really like me, and i am that way with men too. I find it nearly impossible to make new friendships and beat myself up for it to the point where i feel hopeless. The antidepressants helped at first, but not much anymore. So Im dating my boyfriend and i feel great for a while, at the start I had doubts, as i didnt like his friends, didnt like that he still talked to exes, so i wasnt sure but kept on with cause i still liked him and wanted to give it a chance. He actually changed all that for me, to be with me. He is completely in love with me, would do anything for me, and i know this. But i am constantly finding things to get upset about, nonsense stuff really. I decided to get off the antidepressants and try a new one. as i was doing this, i got worse and worse, and currently am at half the dose i was originally on and am feeling extremely paranoid. I dont know if i want to be with him, but i know he is amazing. Im scared that the reason i pick fights is cause maybe im not really happy with him. I only started seriously thinking this when i lowered my dosage. I honestly dont know. It recently got to the point where i am nervous and sick to see him, for fear of starting something or breaking his heart. I cant sleep anymore, cant eat, have a constant knot in my stomach, and feel hopeless. I decided to go back up on the antidepressants for the moment being. I am scared of being without him cause i will feel so alone and friendless, and i think i might regret it immensely. On the other hand, I think if i didnt worry so much, feel so insecure, then this could work out. I can barely function, I am miserable, and feel truly horrible. I am torn by this, and feel dumb for letting a man tear me apart. This feel so much worse because i feel so friendless too. Can anyone please offer any advice of any kind? I really need some right now. Thank you.
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male
reader, 17yoadvicegiver  +, writes (1 December 2007):
hey really you need to chill.A great man once said [for those who dwell in there own minds shall be driven to maddness] over the years ive found this to be true ive dwelt in my mind ive had doubts driven myself paranoid and just gave up on everything when i was 15 i was sent to see a therapist and an angermanegment person they both diagnosed me a depressed bipolar. They orderd me onto pills i refused to take them and it got worse eventually through the sessions with the therapist and the angermanagment person i got better i started seeing things better i still go into relapses but there only for an hour or two instead of days.What im saying is to stay on your meds i didnt take mine because i have a addictive personality. But find someone to talk to some times you can deal with stuff on your own but not always sometimes you just need someone to talk to.
A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (30 November 2007):
 I am sorry to hear your story. But your mental situation seems so complex that any comment would be superficial. But a guy who loves you even when you are almost constantly unstable should be kept in hight regard and you are better of by sticking to him. I am sure you are having professional help.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  + ♥, writes (30 November 2007):
 I think you need counselling to be honest. Your depression actually seems to be linked to some kind of anixety disorder and it maybe that your anti-depressants are not entirely helping your situation. Something must have obviously caused this, probably one single thing or a collection of experiences in your teenage years.
Obviously this goes alot deeper than just this current situation but without knowing more about your past its hard to comment. I think you should seriously consider a counsellor as they will try and get to the root of what is making you feel this way and help you forward. Enlist the support of your bf if you can. Good luck :)
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