A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm looking for some help in figuring out my sexual orientation. Here's the deal:I've always almost exclusively fantasized about women. When I fantasize about heterosexual sex, my imagination will always be focused on the woman. I imagine being the woman or a lot of the time I imagine doing things to the woman... if you get my drift. But in the last year or so, I find myself almost exclusively fantasizing about lesbian sex. I'm not sure if this is influenced by lesbian women that I am infatuated with (Ellen DeGeneres and a lesbian teacher). Hell I might be infatuated with them BECAUSE I'm a lesbian, no idea which way the cause and effect goes. Maybe I fantasize about women simply because they're the more attractive gender?Anyway in terms of reality, I've had a couple of relationships with guys and never really clicked with them. I've had close to no experience with the same sex. Ever since a child I've always had celebrity/teacher crushes on females. I've never really had a massive crush on anyone in my life though. I have several attractive guys who many would consider to be 'perfect catches' interested in me, but I seem to show no interest further than friendship. The idea of being with a female currently appeals more to me, but I never really thought about actually having same-sex relationships until I started idolizing my lesbian teacher and Ellen. Not sure if this is just a phase where I'm trying to emulate people I admire, or whether they've brought me to the realization that I'm not straight. Maybe I'm just a really choosy straight girl confused about her sexuality. Help me figure me out? Thanks :)
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female
reader, unknown x  +, writes (6 October 2009):
 I agree. Try it and see how you feel. Through experience, the way you feel will eventually become clear. Though for now i wouldn't worry about putting a label on your feelings. I'm 17 and have often felt a similar way. Message me if you like :) hope you figure things out xx
A
male
reader, Candleman  +, writes (3 October 2009):
 Story about a girl before my wife....
She was a 33yo optometrist, tall, blond and beautiful. My work took me into her office and I find her attractive, ask her out on a date. We go out on a date. Through the conversation I come to learn that she had been proposed to 3 times in her life, all three times she turned them down.
This girl...comes from one small town, currently living in another small town, family very close.
At the time I dated her, the internet was just coming out, high speed was virtually non-existent. Despite the fact this woman was a doctor, she was computer illiterate to a point. Didn't own a computer. So I suggested loaning her my laptop so that she could use my aol account and just see if it was something that she would be interested in.
So, I get my computer back from the woman. Like any normal person, I check out the history to see what she looked at.
Lesbian site after lesbian site she visited.
Now, her story made sense and it saddened me. Think of this. Here is a woman who is a lesbian but despite this, she went out with men to the point of them falling in love with her. When they propose, she can't do it, and the relationship breaks up.
I stopped seeing the woman, didn't confront her because I didn't want to freak her out. I got lucky I didn't waste any more of my life. To this day, I wonder what happened to this poor woman who obviously felt trapped and confused by her true identity.
I just shared that story so that you do not make the same mistake. This woman wasted a very significant amount of her life, hurt 3 men really bad, all for not facing her true identity.
From what you are describing, it is indicating that you are a lesbian. But, the only way to find out is to pursue this path, gain the experience and then make a judgement. You can find a lot of lesbians or bi-sexual people on craigslist.org. That's just one option. Like any sexual experience or internet relationship, use caution.
Best Wishes
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 October 2009):
I'm not sure you're a confused staight girl. If you think or feel that you want a relationship with a woman, then maybe you should try it to see how you feel?
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