A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone so lately I haven't been feeling like myself lately at all!. I can't sleep what's so ever at night. I'm up all hours of the thinking, worried, and stressed out over every little thing! My ex and I broke up in June due to our relationship just not working out. I cheated on him and he cheated on me and it was just a mess after. At the beginning of our relationship like 2 months in to it he cheated with an ex. We both have no past of cheating so Idk what happened. We had broken up during that time and I'm not sure if we had gotten back together when he "cheated". Anyway things was going good until we started fighting constantly everyday. He cheated again. We got past it. Then in July 2013 I cheated on him with my child's father and I must say idk what I was thinking! After that happened our relationship went to hell! He lost feelings for me, he never trusted my child's father and I together. He was very hurt. After that he wouldn't let his self get close to me at all and then it became a problem so we continued fighting. He tried 3 times to find someone else while we was together but he didn't actually date them. Well now we aren't together we have just been working things out slowly. He was dating a girl and I was dating a guy we both broke up with them yesterday to continue to work things out with us. But now I'm feeling how I should. I love him but I'm not sure if I wanna be with him. I mean we have a shared phone bill so I can see how many texts he sends and receives which is over 20,000 and seeing that made me feel idk like how can I work things out if I don't trust him. A month ago things with us was so amazing! The feeling when I was with him or Even thought about him wad unreal I can't explain it. But Here lately I've been having bad anxiety, depression and anger! I only have anxiety at night time its so bad where I stay up all hours of the night. Can all of the negative thinking be because of the anxiety? What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2014): I think you both got together too soon. Now you're feeling what people feel when their coming down from rebound feelings.
When you've recently broke up with someone, and someone nice comes along. They will sustain you emotionally for a while.
Then the high subsides, and they don't seem so wonderful
anymore. Now you are starting to feel the misery you were feeling when you found him; because he was just the temporary painkiller you needed at the time. You were his fill-in girlfriend, until he sorted out things with his ex.
A way to make her jealous and competitive. Once he got what he really wanted, he lost interest in you. I think the same happened for you too.
Once you heal, you will feel so much better and figure this all out. You only need some time alone and single. That's how you sort out your feelings, get over past issues, grow as a person, and overcome your weaknesses. Focus on yourself for a while as a single-woman. Find your own happiness, without a man in your way.
Hope this helps!
A
male
reader, lifesgreat  +, writes (14 August 2014):
It doesn't sound like it is helping the situation .It sounds as if one minute you are thinking about working it out with him and the next minute you are thinking about working it out.To be fair the fact he has cheated a few times and that you have cheated is just saying to me what is the point? that is no relationship to look forward too is it.If I was you focus on moving forward and just doing things for yourself.the longer you stay in this I doubt it your anxiety will calm down .good luck
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A
female
reader, millonbitsu +, writes (14 August 2014):
It sounds like you probably are stressed out by the whole situation and it's very easy for that to keep you up at night. I know it's hard to walk away from someone when you want to make things work, it's always worth 'one last try' but then ask yourself, is it really worth one last try? You've messed each other around, and you have a kid, think of what example you'd be setting to them. I'm sorry but your relationship just doesn't sound healthy, you're going round in circles and yes, you've both made mistakes and are sorry and regret them but that doesn't make you in love or worth fighting for. Stay away from this toxic relationship, surely your mind and body are telling you that when you can't sleep and feel so down? It's hard being strong and single, but focus all that energy on being a good mum, and stay off men for a while. When the right one comes along you will have no interest in being a cheat or being cheated on. Good luck.
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