A
female
age
36-40,
*abybaby09
writes:Can a relationship work if you break up with somebody and go off do your own thing like going on date or sleeping with other people? Then you both realise its not what you want to do and want to get back together? Even though you both know that you have been with other people?Me and my fiance have been split up for 2 months. I asked him a few weeks ago if he wanted to give it another try he said he didnt know but still had feelings for me.Anyway this week he told me he got drunk and slept with some1 at the weekend and he is disgusted with himself for doing it and its made him realise how much he wants to have his family back. I am really hurt by this. It made me feel so sick.But i was having a fling with some1 before we split up we never had sex we would just meet up, flirt and just talk on the phone all the time. We met up after i broke up with my fiance and we did have sex. I have been out on a date with 1 other guy who i have been texting for a while. When we met up I sat there with my date and i felt like crying because it made me realise how much i would rather be with my ex.Now my ex has been texting and calling all the time trying to get me to yes say we can work things out. My heart is saying yes and my head is saying no way. I told my friend what had happend and she thinks i would be mad to get back with him. I just dont know what to do i really wanted him back before i knew he had slept with some 1 else even though i have been with some1 else.I still have feelings for him and we have a child together and i wont just get back with him for the sake of our kid. In our time appart i can see where we have both gone wrong and why it didnt work out but i think we could maybe work it out and i feel this has changed me for the better.I have not been in touch with my fling since. He has decided he wants to work things out with his fiance aswell and doesnt want to mess around anymore. So i will leave him aloneAny advice?? or personal experience?thank you x x
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broke up, drunk, fiance, flirt, get back together, my ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (1 July 2010):
 My personal take is that usually the things that drove you apart the first time will do it again. I tend to live by the rule that once broken up, it's over, for good. Every time I've broken this rule it's ended the same way it did the first time. Things are usuall good for a little while, but people don't stop being who they are. Eventually, it ends again. I'd rather focus my energies on finding someone new. Sure, there are comforts in being with someone who is familiar, but you're just delaying finding a real match.
In your case, there is a child involved. If you truely think it may work, that may be best. However, I agree that you shouldn't get back together solely for the child's sake. You may grow to resent your child if things don't work out.
A
female
reader, tinkerbell** +, writes (1 July 2010):
You both sound that you are ready to sort things out for good and get back together. I'm currently single after breaking up wif my boyfriend about 2 weeks ago we wer always arguin and i couldnt take his horrible insults anymore even tho he always told me he was sorry and didnt mean it.
We are now on a break and i am so scared of the same things happenin that has happened to you but at the end of the day you have also been with sum1 else sexually and at least ur ex was honest and told you. Would u have prefered him to keep it from you??? Even tho it makes u feel so mad that he has been with sumone else so have you. To be honest it was probably wat u both needed to do to realise how much you two wanted to be with eachother so in a way it was good that it al happened this way.
If you really want to be together ur gona have to forget bout it and move on. ur relationship shud b all tht matters to u if u both really wana give it another try. if you dont think u can forgive him thn first of all mayb u dont really want to be wif him and secondly u are bein a hypocrite bcos u also did the same.
I understand how hard it is even to think of ur ex sleepin wif sumone else i'm so scared tht this will happen to me but i finished the relationship for a reason and if we dont get back together thn i will just have to believe tht we werent meant to be. ;-(
Hope this helps
xoxoxo
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