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Can a relationship really survive without desire

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 March 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 March 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

After 9 months of an on off relationship we have settled onto seeing each other two or three times a week due to distance. I feel its not enough for me as we never spend whole week ends together or go away as he's too focused on his business. He is not very sexually driven and I am. I do enjoy our deep conversations but really miss the romance and intimacy and its getting me down. I am trying really hard to focus on our good points but find it so hard to be close to a man who is so independent and practical. I feel like my spirit is being dampened but don't want the pain of losing a guy I respect and love. I just don't feel feminine or desired at all.....

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (13 March 2015):

BrownWolf agony aunt

There is no such thing as an ON OFF relationship. You are either in a relationship or you are not.

If you go to a store to buy something and it's closed, so you cannot get what you want from that store, what do you do? Do you stand and way until when ever the store opens so you can get what you want? NO! You find another store that has what you are looking for.

So if this guy (store) does not have what you are looking for. Why are standing there waiting for him to open up his doors just for you??? There are some many other stores to choose from.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 March 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntA 'real' man' spends his waking hours trying to satisfy his love's needs and desires. A phoney just plays at it. Sounds like a phoney to me. Better luck next time.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (12 March 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou are experiencing something that I call the "S/S/I" divide. i.e. If you and he cannot reconcile your Sexual, Sensual and Intimate (S/S/I) menues... then you cannot continue what YOU are calling your "relationship."

Show your submittal, and this reply to him, and ask him where he stands. His response should tell you all you need to know....

Good luck...

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