A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can a person really continue on in a healthy relationship after they've cheated on someone?Is it really possible to cheat on someone while in a long-term relationship, and later become engaged to them and marry, and have a healthy marriage? Is it possible if the cheater never reveals that they cheated prior to the engagement, while they were clearly in a committed, long-term relationship? Won't the marriage always be tainted by the secrecy and the history of the cheating behavior? What kind of a person can live their life with that secret and say marriage vows to somone they KNOW they have betrayed???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): instead of making your question all mysterious why not just tell us what has happened. in that way it makes your situation more real.
if you have cheated, or if your wife has cheated, ut will all come out in the end.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Look if you cheated on your girl you want to marry, here's how it rolls.
You can have a fundamentally successful relationship, yes.
But here's your challenge: Somewhere, somehow, in some way, you will give a signal you cheated. It may be a direct admission all the way to a subtle, almost unnoticable way. It will come out in something you say, or a certain look, or even your silence, and it will tell on you. From that point, because your wife knows your patterns, knows when you're lying, telling the truth, hiding, and being open, she knows you, and it WILL come out. And when it does, she'll initially find it odd you did or said what you did and wonder why she feels a little suspicion, and it goes from there. So it's not about being caught as much as it is an untold cancer you started, rusting the framework of what she thinks you are and share...
The first poster is right. Life has a way of making everything we do come right back to us.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): It is definetly possible, but the cheater, should not act like a "cheater" stay away from place where you might lose your control over yourself. Don't keep secrets and don't ever lie, even if you're caught lying even once. The other person will lose all his trust for you and assume you've lied plenty of times before and most likely, cheated on him/her too. Even though you did not.
But the one whos "cheated" should also refrain from labelling his/her bf/gf as a cheater, should not keep bringing up the subject whenever you dont agree on something. In this case the other person will most likely get bored after while and thing that this is not working out, rightfully. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, krunkqueen  +, writes (26 July 2010):
well we all make mistakes and we seem to hurt the ones we love most. try forgiving yourself for your mistake and never do it again, and also dont ever think that she will do it to you cause you did it to her, thats just your guilty concious playing tricks on you not everyone cheats!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Plenty of people do it...the most important thing is this: DON'T CHEAT AGAIN EVER!! Don't even hang around people on a daily basis who do that sort of thing and don't place yourself in a situation where cheating of any kind can occur. Of course, if they person has a mental cons. there are times guilt will take over because, they know they have betrayed the person they claim to love.
People cheat for diff. reasons, so it really depends. I know alot of people think that no one should cheat at all regardless of the situation...and morally speaking, that is true, but it's not as simple in certain situations. For instance, I heard of a guy who started cheating on his wife because, she was in some sort of freak accident where she could not have vaginal sex. He didn't want to leave her, as they had been together for years, but he was no longer attracted to her physically or sexually anymore. So..he went out and found himself a woman on the side. Now some people might say that he should have divorced his wife before cheating on her, but others might say otherwise.
Cheating destroys trust...and when I say cheating, I mean cheating of any kind...if your teacher found out you cheated on an exam, the liklihood of him/her trusting you 100% again as they did before is slim to none. You know...those are just examples.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): so you betrayed your wife-to-be huh !!
if you can promise yourself not to do it again then marry her and don't you ever tell her your secret !!
but remember adultery is a debt so be prepared when she cheats on you
good luck
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