A
female
age
51-59,
*sj7207
writes:My husband and I had a very short "dating" experience, we went straight from meeting to moving in to marriage. We didn't take the time to get to know each other and it has been a very long, challenging road just over the past year. We both admit that we just don't "click" we both acknowledge that we are good people but just not good for each other. The question however is, he is willing to stick things out because he loves me despite our differences, he said he can live the rest of his life without that "chemistry" but he understands if I can't and doesn't blame me if I left for that reason. given this circumstance is it possible that two people that just don't click can create a good relationship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 I think you can make that chemistry come if you both really try and do all the loving things couples do. However I think from personal experience that if you dont already have that spark at this stage if you do manage to create it, it will fade as soon as the other person annoys you or does something to kill that spark.
With my hubbie the spark was instant and if I am really annoyed with him etc I only have to look at him and I melt because that attraction and spark has never faded and I stop being annoyed instantly with him. Means he gets away with blue murder but I love him so much!!
It sounds to me as though you dont feel you can continue without that spark so it really has to be your decision x
A
female
reader, Yuna~  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 I really believe the chemistry can be worked on if you both desires. Think about the good things you like about him when you two first started dating. Are you discover more good things now you're married?I know in the western society, a relationship requires love in front of anything else. In Eastern society where there are arranged marriage, some couples will fall in love after they get married. How do they do that? Well, it's how you look at it. The Eastern women believe once you're married to a man, you have to treat him as a husband and you and him are together until death. Don't look at it as a unfortunate thing. I think in today's western society, women have the financial and emotional power to leave their man because she knows she can live on her own or find another man who is better. I noticed you mentioned your husband is willing to stick things out because he loves you. He does love you. That's more important than chemistry, don't you think? Find things that you both like to do or would like to do together. For example: ballroom dancing, sport, etc. If you both learn it together, maybe you'll both discover the chemistry you felt missing before will be form together. Good luck to you both.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 July 2008):
 There are plenty of couples with tons of chemistry who can't make it work, so who knows if the other way around might work?
But you say that you are not good for each other and that things have been hard? This sounds like more then just a lack of chemistry.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (22 July 2008):
 Love is a living thing, it needs to be nourished.
Where there's love once, they can be love again. What you guys need is to speak each other's love language to feed it.
"The five love languages" by author Gary Chapman explains in details the love languages and how to talk the right one to your spouse.
I recommend this book to anybody who wants a successful loving relationship.
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