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Brothers or Lovers?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2010)
A male United Kingdom age 26-29, *eyland-Yutani writes:

A few months ago I met a friend on the internet who introduced me to a friend of his. We started off as cyber brothers, and I won't bore you with the details but we're now very much in love and have even said that when he's 18 he wants to move over here and marry me. Since we said that I've been happier than I have been for a long time, we've been just sitting here and planning ahead for all of it, where we're holding it, where we're going for our honeymoon, it was my fream come true...until he suddenly said to me;

"************: nothing, it's just getting ya know married is a long way away, and I wanna talk as bros until then."

Now I feel like my heart's been snapped in two and I can't face him as a brother when I'm so deeply madly in love with him. It's only 5 years I have to wait, but it's just 5 years too long.

What should I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010):

I'm sorry, but I'd say its pretty near impossible to fall in love with someone you have never met. I think you've gotten a little too carried away with this guy. It sounds to me you might feel neglected or unloved and are trying to hang on to any affection you can get. You are so young to be talking about marriage already. And five years is a long time to try and keep up a long distance relationship, especially if you don't know for sure what the other person is really like. Take a few steps back, and cool things down here. You have a lot of growing up to do-both physically and mentally. Just be friends for a while and think about your future. You have so many things to experience and look forward to, so try not to tie yourself down just yet.

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A female reader, heyitscarissaa United States +, writes (13 January 2010):

heyitscarissaa agony auntYour 13? You have a wayyys to grow up hon. Trust me, i was very much like you in ways and i thought i was madly in love with a guy who was 18. I look back being older and shake my head cause i was crazy because my standards now, and my standards then are completely different. Plus if this is over the computer, that's never a good way to start a relationship because you really don't know anything about them except what they have told you, which could all b lies because you never see them in person. Just be careful, and i would recommend not dating online, its just dangerous.

Love is a complicated thing but one day you will truly love someone and look back realizing that this is nothing close.

Move on, and meet someone you can actually go out with on a date and get to know in person. It'll be much better.

Hope i helped

Best Wishes

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (13 January 2010):

RAINORFIRE agony auntUmmm this kind of stuff should be anonymous so i hope thats not your real name, I guess its to wierd to be real, any way your 16 write well teenagers are not known for rational thought, your a guy and you want to marry another guy in fve years, well i suggest not holding your breath, just be bros im sure one day a nce girl will come into your life if you dont spend so mutch time on the computer and get out there in the world, i could really go for a peperoni caserole rite now

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