A
female
age
30-35,
*anthe
writes:I was dating this guy I liked very much, when my best friend told me he really loved me and it killed him to see me with this other guy. At first I just let it be what it is, but then I started realising I do have feelings for him for a long time, I just didn't want to see them.So I broke up with this guy I was seeing and told my friend I wanted to give it a try. But now he's backing of a little again... He is almost 9 years older than me and he doesn't want to 'define the relationship'. I'm alright with that, but I am a little worried I gave up this guy I liked really much for something that might never ever work out. I have slept with my friend before, but then we decided not to be in a relationship and remained friends, until he told me he really liked me and couldn't actually live with me being with someone else. After I broke up with this guy, he came over and we slept together again, it was a great night, but now I am not sure what we are... Should I just leave it to him? Or put some extra effort in?Thank you!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 April 2012):
 All three of you are not in anything serious. If you want something serious you need to drop both of them but first you need to define what you want and what kind of man would do for you. It's easy to develop feelings for someone, but to find the right person it takes time.
A
female
reader, Redbaglover9  +, writes (13 April 2012):
First of all, you definitely need to put some extra effort in. You need to talk to your best friend about what exactly you guys are. And sleeping around with each other is definitely not a solution.
Best friends are usually good together because they've known each other for long and they also spend time together etc.
Good luck :)
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