A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So my (now ex-boyfriend) was dating for almost 3 years. We just recently broke up do to a huge argument. He kept bringing up my past mistakes I've done in my relationship (no I didn't cheat on him) and his jealousy was out of control. I was the one who broke up with him but is it weird that I still love him and all? It took me a matter of 3-4 days to decide if I wanted to continue on just to make sure I was agreeing with my choice and just not out of impulse.To be honest, I was contemplating on what I was going to do. The day after we talked about it but for some reaosn he didn't persuade me to stop or give me a reason to at least reconsider my choice. He left it to me and it made me upset. Don't get me wrong now, I do love him and I did fall in love with him. He was the first guy I've ever fell for and my first boyfriend. It's just neither of us could get past our mistakes and his jealousy was starting to bother me. (Anyways) Continuing on, the day after we talked I was so confused on what I wanted. I didn't know if I should breakup with him or stay and work things out. After a while I figured maybe it's best if we just be "friends" or strangers at the least.I didn't regret my choice, it just made me sad because he was the first guy to ever make me feel such a certain way. He was my first everything. And my best friend.We knew everything about each other but now...it's like we never happened. I've sort of learned to cope with it and all but I have to suppress the memories of him and the thought of him. If that normal though? To still be in love with them? I don't want to go back but is it just me? I was the one who broke it off but is that okay to feel this way?
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male
reader, okjaye +, writes (5 July 2014):
I am 21. Last year almost to the day I ended my 5 year relationship. I did so because I was the one who (At least it seemed) to care MORE in the relationship. Every argument, every fit , and issue was most likely do to me trying to show her still after 5 years what I like ,love , and want from the relationship. I am not selfish I gave my entire all to do whatever I could for her. I needed her effort in me to be equal and that's all I ever wanted was to be treated as if I was the most important person that she would claim I was. It sucks to have to realize the person you care for so much for is also not the right one for you. But we have to remember that we are in charge of only our own actions and no matter how hard we try, and or love for someone we cannot change who they are. They have to want and accept growth and the responsibility. I still love this woman, I also suppress memories of us and it keeps me up at night, like how today 4th of July is the first time me and her went out together. We saw the fireworks and I can see it in my mind like it was yesterday. And it hurts…Bad because along with that thought I also remember how in love I was with her …and honestly still am. I ended the relationship, I told her we should stop calling each other, I was the one who thought I could live without her… truth is I can’t and don’t want to either, But I have to and I do not regret my decision because in doing so it allowed me to gain the necessary strength to be able to admit things like I have stated in this post. When I was with her I was a boy. But now I am a Man.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2014): It is normal to feel that way and fortunately we are built to move on. If a relationship is not working then its time to take a time out and let reason prevail. Give it some more time and see how you feel. However, it takes two to be in a relationship. So be careful you are not putting out more than he's giving you.
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