A
male
age
26-29,
*onfusedguy1
writes:I had hurtful break up with my ex month ago. It was the most difficult situation I ever faced. He was my true love, he lied on me and he said stay here in my place as long as you need as a good friend and good flatmate, but I found out that he is waiting patiently me to move on from his place. And he said awful things about me to others, and I knew about it. He said that I am possessive , jealous , sick mind , empty mind , and I was I broke him financily. All these lies , and he is really awful person , I used to share everything with him even more. He disappointed me, I accepted that he doesn’t want me as a partner. But I didn’t accept to hear these things about me its painful , its hurtful from someone I belonged to him one day , for someone I gave him my heart. Happily I found place and I am moving with 2 days. Shall I tell him that I am moving? Or just move on without even telling him? just move.I don’t know. Also , shall I write him e-mail or paper telling him that I knew what did you say about me, or forget , or if I want to write what shall I tell him ? to let him feel that he was loser. But I feel pain and I really want him to feel pain too. I am confused
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male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (15 September 2009):
 You should take things slowly and think before carefully what you do. I understand how you feel that he is your true love etc. This is a dangerous kind of relationship in my opinion, because you are in love and you are ready to forgive him for things that are just way passed the limits. If you are 100% sure that he has said very negative things about you and is ruening your reputation, then its time to move on and fast. Leave him as soon as possible and tell him why, in the way you feel most comfortable with. Don't try and hurt him thats just pointless and it can backfire. Be genuine and true and explain him that you are leaving him because you have been offended about what he said and his actions. Take care !
A
female
reader, quiet-echo  + ♥, writes (13 September 2009):
 Yes, I would inform him you're moving. Your relationship ended and despite his faults, he was kind enough to allow you to stay for as long as you needed. It would be in extremely poor taste for you to leave and say nothing.
I strongly recommend you do not send him any nasty emails for the same reason as above and because its just poor form.
You could draft an email and NOT send it, save it and edit it later when you've had some time to think.
A relationship is a collaborative effort. So is its demise. The things he said about you may be painful, they may also be true, as HE sees it. It would have been better for him not to discuss this with others who were evidently indiscreet enough to share it.
I hope your new place works out!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): You don't owe him an explanation, though he'll probably ask where you went if you do leave without saying anything. Why not send a simple text or leave a note?
I'm sorry he said those awful things about you, I'm sure they aren't true, he was/is probably just as cut up about the break up as you are.
Do you think telling him that you know he called you that make a difference? Do you want to know WHY he said that? Will it make a difference to how you feel about the break up, or about the relationship? If you think it'll make a difference, then email or write a letter explaining how you feel.
If it's JUST because you want him to feel just as bad as you do, then don't. Getting your own back never usually works, it just makes you a whole lot more upset and frustrated, and won't help you to get over him.
You can write a letter if you want to, but ask yourself what kind of closure you will be getting out of it, and if it will actually help you recover.
Good luck with the move, and you will heal in time, if you allow yourself to not be tormented by what he, or anyone else, has said.
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