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Braces will make me feel worse about my appearance. I feel ugly, what can I do?

Tagged as: Friends, Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 October 2007) 21 Answers - (Newest, 4 May 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I am a 15 and i regard myself as ugly, i have only ever had one proper boyfriend and i am about to get braces. I know i shouldnt be talking like this but i do have really low self esteem. No one has ever told me i am pretty or beautiful and lets face it moms are there to do that. But i feel inadequate and not worth anything. All my friends are pretty and have guys all over them but i feel invisible to everyone. Braces will only make it worse. What should i do?

View related questions: braces, self esteem

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A female reader, nakowater United States +, writes (4 May 2010):

Well what you should do is not care what anyone thinks and be yourself and hang around your friends. I bet you are pretty and some hot guy is out there crushing on you but is afraid to tell you. JUST BE YOURSELF!!!!!! YOU ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN WHAT YOU ARE NOW!!!!!!!

Hope I Helped,

NakoWater

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010):

Just do not worry about because you will look really pretty when you get them off.I am also about to get braces just think positive not negative :) :).

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A male reader, willy2624 Australia +, writes (15 September 2008):

Hey babe, once you have your braces on(as i do now) you will have somthing major to look foward to. So what if you don't look as good as when they will come off but hey imagine when they do you will be soo soo prety, I garenty it. I'm 16 and seen alot of my friends that are girls who were classified as ugly have braces n then when they are off its like they are a whole new person. YOU WILL Be BEAUTIFUL! hahah. Byt the way hun everyone just gets used to them after the first week. dont care whta your friends say or do. this is about you! you will be so pretty when hey come off, I assure you, thinking of you from Australia! xxoxoxoxoox

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A female reader, cutie892 United States +, writes (19 July 2008):

u should start off by buying some nice clothes (abercrombie,hollister,americaneagle,delias,aeropostale,

pacsun) then maybe some shoes basically any where and then if u have any pimples or things on ur face wash ur face 2-3 times daily with soap and water and then if u have like Oxy or Clean & Clear stuff to use after washing ur face then use it. u can use some makeup like Mineral Makeup black eyeliner some mascara-etc... be confident and show it and show tht u r not afraid to show ur braces but if u dont want to show them alot then try smiling alot but not with ur teeth keep ur mouth closed and smile

and so u u will prob grow up to be really pretty because it is said tht kids tht r not tht cute as a cute grow up to be beautifully an di believe it bacause look at Ashley Tisdale before and now and Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato

and maybe get some new hair like highlights or a differnt color

and dont hide

always be visable and talk alot so they will notice u

hope this helps =]

btw i am only 12 so sryy if u dont understand some things

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

OH MY GOD!!!!!!

I felt the exact same way honey!

I'm still 14, but I've had my braces on for a year and let me tell you the first few weeks were like HELL!!! All my friends were getting their braces OFF when I was getting them on (why? don't ask me...ugh) And I absolutely loathed them (not saying I love them now though, heh heh)

But my friends were quite supportive when I told them how I felt (all it takes is one person to say they look good on you and then BAM...it's not so bad).

One of my friends got hers off (let me tell you, she went from geek to model) and after that summer, this adorable and sweet Baseball player totally started crushing on her (it's so sweet! She's so confident now...)

So just hang in there!

And another thing: VISUALIZE. Yeah, sure, you probably feel like crap and don't like what you see in the mirror right now. But just visulaize how you want to look, find the GOOD things in yourself, and--if you give it your 100%--you'll start noticing you look prettier! Seriously, dreams totally come true, all you have to do is ask!

Don't worry--I'll be counting down the days till we both get these damned braces off!!! Just be kind to yourself and, like others said before, find your confidence...you'll be HOT when you do! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008):

Seriously I have braces they're not bad. There on and everyone just gets used to them. You shouldn't have a low self esteem you on live once and you cant redo these memorable years. Have fun and stop worrying what people think.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007):

i got braces yesterday, they are hurting at the moment and i feel really self concious about them.

im 18 and no one i know has braces so that makes it quite tough.

BUT, i do know that these are going to COME OFF SOMETIME so i have that to look forward to!

not only that but once i get used to them im going to prove to everyone that a person with braces can still be pretty and sexy.

you may feel un-pretty at times but YOU SHOULDN'T! i dont know what you look like but i do know that true beauty comes from within, it sounds corny but it's true.

people would much rather be around a women who has braces and who isnt stunning but laughs a lot and is reliable and fun than someone who was stunning without braces but cold and rude.

if you look at female muses/ icons from the past they all have something else as well as prettiness -

edie sedwick, debbie harry, audrey hepburn, marilyn monroe,

were all interesting people to watch/ hear!

so dont feel down about having braces! feel happy because it gives you the chance to rely on your personality to shine through.

outer beauty is there for a limited time but inner beauty lasts forever.

also, look at the results of this poll which show what guys really think of braces! - http://www.misterpoll.com/poll.mpl?id=495794091

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2007):

I don't know how to say this without sounding vain, but I'm actually quite pretty (funny that --- feeling vain when you pay yourself a compliment, yet we're all happy to verbally bash ourselves.. hmmm)...Anyway, I certainly wasn't when I was at school! I never had a boyfriend, never was the one that the boys liked or that the girls wanted to look like etc.. but it is SO true that you grow into your looks. I look 100% better now, at 30, than I ever did as a teenager. Now, I AM the one the guys approach, hit on and ask out -- very often, sometimes to the point of annoyance.

However, no matter how nice I looked as I got into my 20s, the one thing I always hated was my teeth. When I first started going out to pubs & clubs etc.., that's when I really noticed how nice other people's teeth were --- and that made me feel like however nice I looked in every other regard, it didn't matter because of my teeth. Finally, at 27 I bit the bullet & went and got braces. I had them for close to 2 years and it WAS tough, being that I was the only person at my entire workplace (which is large) to have them, being that we're all adults. BUT, you wouldn't believe how quickly it went and now, I love the way my teeth look.... it actually increases your self-confidence in the end. Yes, you have to endure a small time of feeling ridiculous, but the up-side is that for your age group, it's not an unusual thing. People will make comments when you first get them, but then someone else will get them and it'll shift over to them.

The important thing is that when you're older, that initial investment will benefit you forever!

Just keep in mind that your looks now aren't how you'll look forever... things do change for the better as you enter your 20s and 30s. Do the groundwork now -- get your braces & that's one thing you'll have ahead of time when you start growing into your looks.

Good luck.... and make sure you wear your plate (retainer) when your braces come off --- even though it sucks to begin with and you can't talk properly for a while!!

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A female reader, sweetnsoursauce United States +, writes (1 November 2007):

sweetnsoursauce agony auntwhen i first got braces, i thought they would make me look absolutely UGLY! a few weeks later, after school started, i would be talking to a guy about how i thought my braces looked ugly, and he would tell me they look soooo cute. this happened with a bunch of guys, too, so you never know what will happen...also your teeth will be super straight when they're off :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):

i agree with DontHaveAClue, just think about how nice your teeth are going to look afterwards! :) and if you're worried about what the boys are going to think then there's nothing to worry about! i have braces but i kiss this guy i like a lot and he doesn't mind the braces at all. good luck! :) x

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A male reader, Asexy United States +, writes (31 October 2007):

Asexy agony auntI wore braces for 4 years. THEY ARE SO WORTH IT!!! Focus on how wonderful your smile is going to be when you're done.

As for how you feel now, there isn't a person your age (and I mean even the beautiful ones) who doesn't feel EXACTLY the way that you feel. You're just not inside their heads for the proof. Never compare your insides to their outsides; you'll come up short every time because you're harder on yourself.

Get involved in something you really enjoy. Something that makes you feel really confident. A sport. Music. Art. A club. Dancing. Anything. Just something you really enjoy. Self-confidence is REALLY sexy.

Good luck.

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2007):

Richard_EMids agony auntI had a brace when I was 14 for about a year. I hated it. It made my mouth sore. I felt very self conscious. But I am so glad I did - I smile without a moments thought. Better one year of the brace than forty years of nervous smile. And guess what while I was wearing it the best girl in my year at school asked me take her to cinema.!!!!! It still amazes me now.

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A female reader, Msblessed United States +, writes (31 October 2007):

Msblessed agony aunti never had braces but i know its not that bad you'll be pretty with or without them their are so many people out there with braces in this day and age that no one will think much of it when you get them

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2007):

kenny agony auntBraces are no big deal really, so many people have got them nowdays, almost as if they are a status symble. I was on a five year waiting list to get mine, so consequently i had braces when i was like 18/19 and i absolutely hated them, i would have done anything to not have them. But now i am so glad i stuck with it because now i have got straight teeth and i can smile with confidence. Stick with it, it will all be woth it in the end.

Take care x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):

Braces are actually cute on females and add character. That is my opinion..I have really crooked bottom teeth and when I was younger, my dentists always told my mom that I really needed braces. She never did get them for me. She got them for my older sister. Now she has perfectly straight nice teeth, and I still have this twisted mouth and ugly smile..I am 26. I wish dental insurance covered braces because if it did, I would go get braces in a second! Even when I was young, I really wanted them b/c I knew that in the long run it would really benefit me. Trust me, it will be a pain while they're on, but for years aferwards you'll have a beautiful, straight smile. And I really meant what I said about them being cute on females.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):

i know how you feel, iv always been the same as you all my mates were slim n pretty n i always had no one looking at me, but if you need braces when you r older u will look much nicer than if you dont get them, believe me everyone changes when they get older there hole look changes, im sure soon enough u will look great! i know u want it to be now but it will come sooner than you think! x x x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):

Don't worry about it. Seriously. I'm 6'0 tall, and i dont consider myself pretty either. All my girlfriends have guys all over them. No matter where they go. I just get "the look". It's the look of "What the hell do you want. Im hitting on your best friend. Now scoot". I'm used to it. I was never called pretty, hot or beautiful.

Turns out, I might just be too good for them. You can ask my modeling agent =).

So sweetie, just wait a couple of years, and you'll have beautiful teeth, and your face and body are still changing. For all you know, you might become a gorgeous young woman, and not even notice it until someone special comes along, and proves it to you.

Plus, it's highschool. 90% of people hate their high school "experiences".

Oh and remeber that theres always someone who has it worse than you =)

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A female reader, baybee-x-sparkii United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2007):

baybee-x-sparkii agony auntbraces are no big deal really sweetie, and if they make u feel better eventually then even more reason to have them. okay so there maybe a few names but think about the outcome pretty straight teeth and an even more gorgeous smile. and i bet theres at least one guy who thinks your pretty he just maybe too afraid to say anything and there is something pretty about everybody, whether its ur eyes your figure you will find something you will love about yourself.

good luck

sparkii x

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A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2007):

starfairy agony auntI was an absolute ugly duckling growing up. I wasn't interested in hair or makeup or clothes until I was 18/19, but I did feel like an ugly duckling, I never had older sisters or brothers to look up to and copy, I was totally clueless. Then gradually I started picking up tips from friends, how to straighten your hair properly, how to put on liquid eyeliner, what body shape I had and what I could wear to accentuate my features, etc.

I also had braces, and the biggest ugliest glasses, so I do know how you feel!

It's funny because the same guys that bullied me and picked on me for being a bit geeky now ask me for my phone number.

The thing is, true beauty comes from within, I totally know how cliched it sounds, but every girl I know who has been raised being told she is beautiful every day, is (in most cases) arrogant and full of herself, and as you get older that quality is not very appealing.

So, deep talk over, I think you should book yourself in to a local salon, and have some highlights, or lowlights, and a totally new haircut. Look through hair magazines or nook a consultation at the hairdressers before you go to get their opinion. Trust me, a decent cut makes all the difference.

Then, if you can afford it, or your parents are willing to pay for it, some hair or beauty salons do makeup classes, like a one to one hour session and they do a makeover and show you how to apply makeup. If you can't afford to do that, go to a store like Beatties, or House of Fraser, or Debenhams, and ask one of the beauty counters to do a makeover, they do them all the time to promote and try to sell their products, it's free!

Start buying various girly mags and look out for styles you like, or hairstyles, or makeup looks you like. Experiment a little in your bedroom.

I;m not saying the way you look is all that matters but you will feel alot better about yourself :o)

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A female reader, Fairy_Lu United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2007):

Fairy_Lu agony auntHuni braces are no big deal when you get them off you will have beautiful perfec straight teeth whats a few years with braces for the rest of your life with lovely teeth.

You dont need anyone to tell you your beautiful because you are dont worry about your friends having all those guys when your older you will have men falling over themsleves for you, dont worry life works out

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2007):

I think everyone at your age tends to see themselves as less handsome or beautiful than they really are.

Ok, so you're going to have braces fitted. Kids will probably call you metal mouth or something similarly inane. Kids are like that, probably to hide their own insecurities and to focus attention away from themselves. All you can do is ignore them.

However, when the braces come off there will be a real difference to your appearance and you'll have the boys flocking around you when you're at an age to appreciate their attention.

Phil

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