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Boyfriend says my work dress is too Sexy !

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Question - (15 February 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2010)
A female Australia age 36-40, *eccccccy writes:

Hi everyone .. A problem about the clothing I wear to work.

My boyfriend says that the clothese I wear to work are too sexy and too revealing . BUT THEY ARE NOT!

I do like tight body hugging dress / suits which suit my figure, but Im very careful with my appearance . But I like to show off a little, but I wouldn't say its overly sexual .

What do you think is a Mix that works , I still want guys to look at me, but I want to be professional also .

What do you guys think? Anyone have any similar experiences? Advice you can pass on?

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (17 February 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIn the office you should be more professional in your attires. You do not want to give the wrong impressions.

As long as you feel comfortable and not too self conscious of your dress, it should be OK . Provided off course you do not contravene your office dressing code if there is one.

Clothing that reveals too much cleavage, your back, your chest, your legs, your stomach or your underwear is not appropriate .

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010):

Becccyyy if you don't believe your boyfriend why don't you ask one of your women friends at work an opinion?That would be really helpful.Find someone who is honest and doesn't pull punches.Sorry that's the best I can come up with.

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A female reader, Beccccccy  Australia +, writes (16 February 2010):

Beccccccy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Beccccccy  agony aunt I admit honestly ..I like to be looked at . I think that MOST women do .If you dont that cool ..

But this has nothing to do with the question , most women want to be looked at ..and admired ..

Thats certainly what I want ..no matter what relationship

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010):

I don't think all women like to be looked at.I don't.That's generalizing a bit too far.Its irritating when guys stare even when you are covered from top to bottom.Caring guy got it right.If you still want other guys to look at you,you are not ready for a relationship.Maybe your boyfriend's instincts do know that you are dressing to show off.so he's being controlling.It doesn't make him right.But you are not being fair to him either if you are dressing for other guys.

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A male reader, HarryFlashman United States +, writes (16 February 2010):

This may be controlling behavior, but: Having worked in several office environments, wearing sexy clothes to work can indeed have negative consequences for women. It will tend to make others take you less seriously. Maybe that's unfair, but in all honesty it is true.

You don't have to look frumpy, but: don't look "hot". Look professional -- little or no cleavage and skirts/dresses that aren't too revealing. Imagine that your work-place is filled with prudes. Remember that those in power are usually a lot older and more conservative... that's just how it is.

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A female reader, Elle.gw United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2010):

Tell him you think he's being too controlling and if he's going to be like that then you can't see the relationhip working out. If he doesn't fight for you then he's not worth it, if he does then give him credit coz it's not easy for a guy to back down when he thinks he's right. If he does back down and value your views, why don't you go shopping with him and ask him to suggest good outfits for work? If you don't like them, just tell him what you'd prefer. It'll be a nice day out.

Hope this helped. x

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A female reader, Beccccccy  Australia +, writes (16 February 2010):

Beccccccy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Beccccccy  agony aunt I think all girls like to be looked at , relationship or not ..makes you feel Sexy .

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2010):

This is classic controlling behaviour. First he will tell you how to dress, then he will tell you what friends you can and can't see (if any), then he will slowly control everything else. So maybe move on now.

And also, if you are wanting other guys to look at you, then perhaps you're not really ready for a relationship.

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