A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Help please. . . So my boyfriend and I were in a car wreck on monday we are both okay for the most part the car insurance covers both of our medical bills and there is full coverage on the vehicle well after the accident we were taken to a tow yard with the car while waiting for a ride the officer came back and arrested my boyfriend for a child support warrant from 2010 that he knew nothing about well the officer took him and left me stranded at the tow yard with all of our belongings sitting on the ground he's in jail under no bond but, we have to pay 3200 to get him out or he'll have to do 6 months I can't go that long without my baby. So is there anything I can do as far as getting help with these funds?? and as far as the police leaving me stranded in unknown territory where anything could've happened to me??
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone I am no longer worried or stressed about the situation I will just continue to do what I have to do for me and just write him until he is released. I could only imagine what you go through tennisstar88. I'm feeling somewhat better and less emotional now. Thank you all again I really appreciate it. :)
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 November 2011):
 I think you might want to see if he is entitled to legal aid if he has no money to pay an attorney. I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a legal expert, nor is this a board for legal advice, so please keep that in mind.
If she cost him his job AND filed some sort of suit against him, maybe he has grounds for legal recourse himself. I really think he needs to get an attorney.
How has this become your problem to solve? Isn't he the guy who needs to produce the money, or at least the way to find it? Ask him how he was planning to pay the next installment of child support. I'd ask his attorney to investigate his firing from the last job; if the ex cost him his job then there's some record of it somewhere.
Honestly, I think your best plan at this point is to focus on school and try not to let this derail you. These legal problems are HIS to deal with and not your responsibility.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 November 2011):
 If he got canned why didn't he draw put unemployment?
The thing is your boyfriend knows about his child he has to support, even if you don't have a job, the state will still go after him for the money. What he should have done after he got fired was file for unemployment so that would still pay the child support and buy him more time to find another job. So this legal situation he's caught up in, is his fault. And it just won't go away, he'll keep on paying child support to his dramatic baby mama until the child is 18.
6 months isn't that long to go without your baby, try having your husband deployed to Afghanistan worried if he's going to come home alive or in a coffin.
Take anything of value, jewelry, musical instruments, expensive electronics, antiques, etc and pawn them at a pawn shop, or sell on ebay and craigslist.
Or let his parents bail him out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): Well, as for your BF's child support obligations. If can prove that he was never served notice, then a judge should release him from jail as long as he makes payment arrangements to cover his arrears, this could be direct payments to the county, or if he has a regular job, then wage garnishment would solve it and he should be released.As for the police leaving you stranded. Immediately file a charge against them. It is ILLEGAL for police to knowingly leave someone stranded without a way to get out of a 'harmfull situation'. This might be a stretch, but you also might get a settlement out of it. In Philadelphia, PA, cops did a similar thing to a woman who was riding in a car and the BF had traffic tickets outstanding, but only for about $200 or so. They impounded the car, took the BF away, and left the woman and her child in a very bad neighborhood. Needless to say Asshole cops. They were suspended and eventually fired, and she won around $5000 in damages from the police department and the city.In the long term though, did you know about your BF's child support responsibility? If he doesn't solve the long term support thing, then this kind of thing might occur over and over again. Think about that before you resume a relationship with him. Or is he really the victim of the system, that does happen, but only you and he know the real answer.Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes he knows about the child and looks after him while the mother of his child goes to work he would have had a job to pay the child support but, she got him fired because she would go up to his place of business and cause problems. I've seen him with his child and he is no deadbeat father. I just want this to go away I was told that after he does his 6 months he will be released and given the opportunity to pay the child support again and if he can't or doesn't he'll have to go back to jail. Getting a job is very difficult. I'm not working but, I'm in school full time so a lot of my time goes toward my studies. What items should I sell and where do I sell them? I am in a lot of pain and still very emotional about the whole situation. I'm hoping to return to school next week but, I have no idea on how things will be. Thank you all for the responses.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 November 2011):
I guess he'll have to sell some of his belongings to raise the money, or tap into his financial assets, such as an IRA or other retirement accounts if he doesn't have the money available. If he's responsible for the child support, he has to pay it.
I think you wound up stranded by the side of the road because of the choices he made, it's not the police's job to babysit grown ups. I'm sorry it was traumatic but the guy you should be angry at is your boyfriend.
If he has a child to support, well then, he'd better figure out how to raise that cash. Maybe you can ask family and friends for help and work up a way to pay them back over time. Ask enough friends, sell some belongings and you may be able to raise the money he needs.
I'd suggest he come up with a plan to address his child support responsibilities so you don't wind up stranded again in the future. Ignoring them is what got him into this mess in the first place.
I hope you are okay after the accident!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): I suggest that you try to get legal advice. I am not from the USA so am not sure if they have legal aid for people who cannot afford lawyers, but I would look into this and see if there is anything like that in your state. In a case like this I believe that legal advice is your best option in this matter. Good luck with it, I hope it works out for you.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2011):
 First of all I am sorry about the accident... we had a bad one in April and had similar issues...
Did your boyfriend know of this child? is he paying his support? if so does he have proof? Is he working? are his wages garnished for the support?
First thing to do is get a lawyer to help you....
Second thing to do is note that you CAN and WILL live that long without your baby... six months is not a lot of time.
why is he not paying his child support?
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