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Boyfriend has went no contact should I pay for his car insurance?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 January 2015) 10 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

For a while now I've thought may bf of 4th has been seeing somebody else, he wworks away and I don't really see him anymore, we spoke on the phone or via txt most days,anyway 2weeks ago was the last I spoke to hihim, we spoke about him coming bk hear to live etc,I txt him that sat to ask if he was coming down and never rreplied bk to me, have not spoke to him since I txt him saying I'm leaving down to u to speak to u now,but noting to be fair it's actually driving me mad not speaking to him but everyone says just leave it now :(....he has always said he would tell me if didn't want to me with me anymore or was with somebody else, but haven't even had that I know it's defo over now anyway .. My other problem with him is I'm still paying his insurance for his car, should I ring up and cancle it but like txt him and give him a warning just to say it's not fair if u don't speak and I'm paying it, I'm gonna cancle it so gives him a few days to find something else??

Plz plz help do I do the insurance or not??

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A female reader, maverick494 United States +, writes (31 January 2015):

Do not pay for his car insurance. That's his responsibility and after going AWOL he's the one that owes you, not the other way around. Dump him, you deserve so much better. And next time, here's a helpful rule of the thumb: do not pay other people's bills, ever. You can gift them things or give them one sum of money, but never pay for recurring bills.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (30 January 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntThis boyfriend? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-not-speaking-to-me-not-calling-me.html

Be brave and let him deal with the consequences of his own bad choices.

Send a text to let him know you are done with it and won't pay anything any longer. Then do it!

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A female reader, p.d632 United States +, writes (30 January 2015):

Please do not pay this man's insurance. He doesn't have the decency to call or text you, and yet he still expects you to take care of him?

In my mind, he doesn't even deserve to be notified of the cancellation, just as he didn't think you deserved to be notified that it's over. If you feel compelled to do so, go ahead and let him know, but either way, cancel the insurance and stop contacting him. You deserve so much better.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 January 2015):

Honeypie agony auntHaven't you asked this SAME question a few few months back? And everyone told you... CANCEL the insurance. HE can't even RING you and DUMP you, so why would you NEED to ring him and tell him about the insurance?

You CAN be a nice person and text him so he KNOWS he will be without insurance, my guess is.. He might pretend to still CARE about you, so that YOU will pay his insurance. And you... will continue to pay (if you are the same OP who asked this question months ago) because you HOPE it will make him LOVE you. IT won't. SAVE your money for yourself.

But seriously... why can't he pay his OWN darn bills?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2015):

I agree with the other aunts and uncles - do not continue to pay his car insurance.

Even if you are together and all is well, why are you paying for HIS car insurance?

If the car is with you and you are driving it while he is away, then you need to decide if you want to continue paying for the insurance and driving the car. If the car is with him, then you should not be paying for his car insurance. Plus, you say that he is away for work, therefore he has the money to pay for his own insurance.

You can be polite about it. Text him to tell him that you are stopping the insurance payments on X date. That will give him notice of what's happening and will give him time to sort out his own payments.

Also, if you want to know what is happening with your relationship, just ask him. You have a right to know.

I really do wish you all the very best of luck.

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A male reader, SensitiveBloke United Kingdom +, writes (30 January 2015):

SensitiveBloke agony auntYes, stop paying his car insurance.

Yes, you should let him know you will no longer be paying it so he can sort out an alternative, otherwise he might not realise it's no longer active, and if he causes an accident there could be problems for the other party involved.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2015):

If you have to pay a guy's bills, that should be a deal-breaker. It's a sure sign you're being used, and he's a loser. Money can't buy love, my dear! I hope you've learned a lesson from all this.

Send him the premium notice. Remove your name from the insurance policy, and leave him alone.

He made his decision. Why would you spend your money on someone who clearly doesn't want you?

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2015):

If I was you I'd text him and say I'm not paying YOUR car insurance anymore so as of (say thurs ) you won't have any insurance paid by me and you need to find some.

Then I'd say if I don't hear from you then I guess its over.

That way if he doesn't text you back you know its over or you could just tell him its over

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (30 January 2015):

mystiquek agony auntI see no reason to pay for his insurance if he isn't even speaking to you. If you want to be nice, you can let him know you are cancelling it. I certainly wouldn't continue to pay for it though.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (30 January 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntdo not pay his car insurance why were you paying it in the first place??

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