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Boyfriend has a bruise on his neck. Is he cheating? I'm afraid to ask

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 March 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2018)
A female United States age 22-25, *ngryblonde writes:

I saw a strange bruise on my boyfriend's neck yesterday. He always accuses me of cheating but I've been very faithful. We've been together for over a year and it has been really hard. I made the mistake of lying to him about going to a party about 6 months ago. I was getting sick of not being able to have friends. Well, I got hell for that and learned my lesson but he won't let it go. Now he is wanting me to take a lie detector test which I said I would take because I have nothing to hide and I want to make this work because I love him so much. He claims he is faithful but he's also told me a while back that he isn't over his ex, who is the mother of his kid, who he also sees every day. He said that when we were arguing so he could have just been saying that to hurt me. He will say anything to hurt me when he's mad. I'm a worthless slut, he hates me, I don't deserve his love, and everything else you could ever think of. I let him see my phone whenever he wants, he doesn't even ask, he just snatches it out of my hand. Yet, I'm not allowed to touch his phone. He will get extremely mad if I try to ask him about this so I just didn't say anything. I live at his house and we sleep together every night and spend the majority of the day together. I was on spring break and stayed home for the entirety of it and yesterday was the day I had to go back to school. He texted me all day calling me names and shit and that's when he threatened the lie detector test. For a couple hours after school, we kept fighting and I stayed at my dad's until he asked me to come home and everything was fine. I was laying with him when I saw the hickey on his neck. It was a line about an inch long that was red and purple and looked like a hickey.. But I don't know.. A month ago his ex came into our house when we were trying to sleep and tried to beat me up and she clawed up his face. She acted like she caught him cheating but he says she's just crazy so I let it go but I don't believe him.. They've supposedly been "split" for like two years, so when is she going to move on? Why would she react like that? I don't know what to do..

Could it be a possibility that he got a weird bruise like that from training for mma or going to the gym? He said he went to the gym while I was at school and after school he sparred with his friend and brother. Could he have gotten it from that? Please help me.. I have to confront him about this today if he actually lets me come home.. Should I say something like, "Babe, what happened to your neck?" or what? I don't want it to sound like I'm accusing him of something because he will get really angry... Or should I just let it go and wait for more evidence.. I could try to go through his phone when he's asleep by using his thumb print but its so risky and I'm scared of what I might find.. What do you guys think...

View related questions: his ex, move on, text

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (28 March 2018):

mystiquek agony auntThis is the kind of relationship that you don't walk away from, you RUN away from. You are young and perhaps haven't been in a relationship with a nice guy who treats you well but for you to settle for a guy who treats you like your boyfriend is just sad. Get out my dear...it won't get better.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2018):

A cheater always accuces their partner of cheating.dump the abusive dirtbag.He is abusive his girlfriend is abusive and you just take it and cannot see what is going on.Get help.really.You need to learn about red flags and how to spot them.Get checked for STD because yes by all the red flags I see he would sleep with anyone because he is a slut.what concerns me more is the abuse.No one deserves that.Get help...get tested.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2018):

This guy sounds like a complete loser. The fact that you let him treat you that way is awful. You need to respect yourself. And the fact that he is having you take a lie detector test? for what? You've done nothing wrong, And if anything it shows that he is guilty of something. Which he probably has done something, because he sees baby mama regularly and told you he's not over her. The whole situation is shady, and he is controlling you. If I were you I would run the other way and find myself a man who RESPECTS AND TRUSTS ME. Because that's what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. You are in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. RUN.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2018):

Honey, why on earth are you even wasting time considering trying to patch this up? He's controlling and I would guess that the reason why he is suspicious of you is because he is up to no good himself but obviously I can't tell you that for sure. You need out of this relationship and fast. He is controlling, manipulative and you're frightened to bring anything up with him. Why even spend the time wondering whether he's been cheating? He's given you enough reason to go already. If you are scared he will get violent or aggresive you may want to bring someone with you, get your stuff and go then cease all contact. You deserve better than this X

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