A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So... my bf got keeps some texting habits from me. He said he wasn't ever allowed to text in a past relationship and so he hid it and now does the same, even though I don't care who he texts. We had this problem for a while, I usually brushed it off and said that I didn't care, smiled, and left him alone. But, a few months back, he was doing it again, but I asked him who it was to this time... it was his ex. The same one who got pissed when he texted (i found out he was texting an ex then too). I don't think there is anything going on, but I'm pissed he's trying to keep it from me. I know he's faithful, but I don't feel he's always telling me the truth. He says it's out of habit and won't do it anymore. But now I'm constantly suspicious. He clicks his mouse to close windows on his computer when I come in the room, he'll offer up his texts so I know there's nothing bad going on (there was once, but not that bad) and I don't think he even talks to them anymore. So, why does he still do it sometimes. He thinks I'm crazy, but there are clear times when I'll walk in and he'll act normal and sometimes he'll act nervous and bite his nails when I ask him what he's up to... WTF is going on?
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (12 June 2011):
 Two things are going on, he's getting his ego stroke from his ex everytime she as much as say "hi" and he gets the other stroke from you when you show jealousy or anger or curiosity.
He's got his own glee club going on. Next time don't react, don't mention it, go about your business. Once he feels your distance he'll stop playing cat with his mouse. If not than he's the one with the problem, your the one with the choice of which knob you're going to grab.
A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (12 June 2011):
Oh. I've been down this road too. In my case, him hiding his computer when I walked in the room was because he had been looking at porn and was embarrassed that I'd find out or afraid I'd get mad. He was also a secret texter. I did check his phone - which I known is an invasion of privacy - and saw his texts to his ex. It was mostly him talking about how happy he was at his job, etc. More vindication I think because she had dumped him and I think he still felt he had something to prove. It sounds like your boyfriend is just trying to have a little privacy and a world away from you. From what you describe and feel, it doesn't sound like he is cheating but rather enjoying some outside attention. Did you ask in a calm way why he is texting her? I finally resolved it with my bf at the time by texting in front of him and not telling him what was going on. Yes. Immature. But it got the point across. He realized how rude it is and how he didn't like not knowing what was going on. He stopped.
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