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male
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*lassofwater
writes: I have a question involving threesomes. My girlfriend has told me that she has been in a threesome in which she was with two guys. One of the two guys was just who she was dating at the time and the other his friend. She told me it was great. I told her that this bothered me because I feel like I'll never be able to match up to that experience. She told me that she I already have, because she actually cares about me a lot more than both of those guys and that matters to a girl. This seems like a complete cop-out answer to me. Any thoughts?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): I'm in the same situation, my gf had a threesome with two dude before when she was just getting out of highschool. And she had a lot of sex before we got together, I'm over the fact she had a lot of sex, the only thing that bothers me is the threesome. I'm not worried if I can trust her or if she wants me to have one, we entertained the idea but decided it wasmt for us. In the end I know that she isn't going to hurt me and I'm glad she didn't lie to me about it. I probably shouldn't have asked but I knew somethings had happened and my imagination would have driven me crazy. I'm just worried about what people say about my gf, granted not a lot of people know but I still hope I don't know the guys did it with. Idk how I would feel if I knew them. But I guess the only thing that matters in the end is that you trust her and she trusts you. The only thing that matters in your relationship is you and her, no other outside sources.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2009): I'm glad to see so many men going through the same thought process. My girlfriend had an 'orgy' before we started dated and she slep around quite a bit for a younger girl. She didn't do two guys at teh same time, but in the same bed, same night I guess. Even before we had sex, she said she had hi a wall and she wanted to stop. We've talked about how it's bothered me and she seems to feel genuinely upset that I feel this way.What really sucked was how she told me. She just told me out of the blue, like it was no big deal at all. I didn't even ask her.Her reaction made me feel better and sorry for her, she basically sank to her knees alarmed that she had told me and because of my reaction. I think she really loves me, and I love her. Now that we're long-distance it's bothering me again, for some reason, wish I could just stop thinking about it. But I love her and she wants me to feel better about it and she want to do whatever she can to make me feel better. I'm going to try and move on and realize that past is past. I've had some sordid sexual experiences in the past, and I don't think she would hold it against me. Just pay attention to the time that you BOTH have spent together and the great times yet to come. I like to think the past is dead.
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reader, aerowenn  +, writes (21 October 2009):
Obviously I was curious about this same situation, how I came upon this post. My girlfriend told me of the same thing, but, in her defense I asked about her past. Always a bad outcome be it "good" or "bad", because perspective will always find the bad. She said it was something she wasn't proud of, it was a horrible experience for her, she was worried that my image of her would change, and I can't lie that it did. Even though her words lowered the blow, it is sickening like all the other guys on here say, makes my stomach turn to think about it, and sometimes I can't get the image out of my head. But I asked for it, she played it smart and said "I don't want to know anything about your past, because I'm not part of it." So who was the stronger person? Personally I would drive myself crazy wondering if hadn't asked, at least I think I would. I guess all I can say is, try to get over it for her. If she loves you, and you love her, the here and now is all that matters. I assume over time I'll get over it completely, it's been about 3 months ago since I found out.Finally, I'll ask you the same question my best friend asked me when I told him about it... "If given the chance, would you have sex with two women at one time?" I replied a quick "yes", to which he said "Then how can you hold her choice against her?"
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reader, lordhelmit +, writes (30 March 2009):
think of it this way:
how great could it have been, seeing as how shes not even with him or them anymore? ;]
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): Just receently found out the same news bro. Cant even think about it without wanting to vomit. Never thought she was like that before. I just have to say is beware just like I am, cause I think everybody still carries the traits they once had. Still not sure if we will stay together. I like a girl who is hard to get and doesn't like to venture. Good luck man.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Hahaha, I can't believe I found this. Google.com is amazing. I just met a really nice girl, and she told me she had a threesome with two guys in college. She seems a little wild, but is so nice when she is with me. I'm not sure what will come of it, but when I found that out my stomach turned...but who am I to hold it over her especially if it was in the past.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008): Great it's wonderfull, at least she has put her wicked ways behind her and is not asking you to share in a threesome with her and somebody else.
You need do nothing, she is bored of her previous behaviour and is glad she met a man as great as you are to settle down with for the rest of her life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): Hey I had to deal with the same problem with my girl. she really was a slut before we got together, but you have to look at the deeper things, the reason why she was with so many men. Maybe she had a worthless dad and felt a deep yearning to find a strong male figure, so she went with the only way girls know how to catch a guy. sleeping with them. It really is a strange feeling because it's almost a turn on and yet it makes you sick at the same time. I see it like this: As my sexual partner it's kind of cool that she's down for different because it means that you can try a lot of things without her getting all weirded out, however, as the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with, it's kind of disgusting that 2 guys were inside her at the same time. But anyway, if you truly love the girl you will be able to get past it. it took me a couple of months to finally let it go and get back to loving her, and things have been much better sense. Oh and another thing- if she's down with two guys, usually she's down for another girl. I dunno if you like that idea, but hey, how bad could it be?
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reader, Samson76 +, writes (15 June 2008):
I feel your pain. My Fiance is drop dead gorgeous, and her younger years were explicit. she was gay for a couple years, and had more than a few threesomes with other couples. SLut behavior if you ask me. I was never that adventurous with sex most of my relationships was with people I cared about, not with people I just happen be drunk and high with. Now she is a BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN-and she doesn't do that stuff anymore,-can you believe that shit. WHat bothers me is I get the ass 3-4 times a month and she wants to call me a sex fiend. And if she loved me you would want to experience these things with me,--hell you did it with random strangers.
3 years into this shit I love her deeply. and we are a few days away from buying a house. ANd I am just not goingto beable to do it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008): Wow. I can't believe there's actually people out there with the exact same problem I have. Except that my gf had a threesome with her female room mate and another dude. Then again with another dude. It wouldn't be so bad if she at least said something like "Well I was young and it was a rash thing to do." or something. But fact is, she really enjoyed it, and wants to do it again with me. I told her that I'm not really cool with that and she seemed surprised, like every guy is supposed to like that. Not that I have a problem with it per se. If that's your bag, fine, its just not mine. Anyway I too am having a hard way getting it out of my head. The problem is that I really love her and this one little thing is really weigh that down. I know it may be unfair to be bothered by this, but I am. Glad to know I'm not alone in thinking this way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): Well, my girlfriend did the same... and it sucks because that means my girlfriend is an XSlut. And I don't know if there is such a thing. She cares alot about me too. but I guess some girls weakness is men.. Sucks man it fucking sucks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): Oh man, I'm in the same position, I cant get the picture of her doing that out of my head, honestly it makes me really nauseous. I know she's not a slut or anything, but the fact that she let two guys do that to her just makes me really ill. I love her to death but it sucks that I have to live with that, I just wish it never happened.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006): I'm in the exzact same situation except my girl freind had a threesome with a guy and a girl.I'm mostly jelous because thr guy was her ex but I don't want a threesome with her because I would get jelous of her freind.
I can't seem to put the image of her doing something so slutty out of my mind.I feel like it happened only yesterday thogh it was many years ago...I don't know what to tell you.
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reader, Toria +, writes (29 September 2006):
 I wouldn't say it was a cop-out as she could truely feel more for you than both of them therefore satisfying her that you are and always will be enough for you.
Someones sexual past doesn't always mean thats the things she's already done are things she wants to continue doing, I think most of us get curious about things and in some situations we try them out, whether good or bad experiance we don't necessarily always want to do them again.
Good luck :o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2006): well why would she tell him? Ofcourse she wants to have a threesome again, what do you think? But deffinately not a reason to stop dating..
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reader, Duke Boy +, writes (29 September 2006):
I'd quit dating her if you do not proceed with it she may have a three some with someone else. Or just tell her you will if she gets another girl so you can run a train that may mess her up enough that she doesn't go along with it you know.
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 September 2006):
 Sharing the details of one's sexual past with a new pardner is always bad pizza! Just look at all the postings we have here about people coping with their lover's past! Try to put it out of your mind and think of your wonderful future together. Good luck!
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reader, camille  +, writes (29 September 2006):
 It's not a cop out. There's no need to feel threatened, she's with you and I'm sure it's more fulfilling to be one on one with someone you love than a one off experience.
But why she told you any of this is beyond me, it really is. Some things just don't need to be shared, I mean what did she think you'd say, 'well done love'?
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