A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have been in this relationship for almost 6 year. We live together and get along perfectly fine.Until last week when he announced he wants to break up because he feels "tied down".He says he stills loves me but he misses the "sparks" of the new relationship, he thinks he won't find anyone like me but he can't combat this feeling.I am his first serious relationship and he never thought it would get this far to begin with.No question of going to therapy - We decided to break up in a few month, and try to make the best of it until then.what am I supposed to think? what am I supposed to do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): When a woman does this stuff nobody uses words like "immature" or "midlife crisis" to describe it.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (8 December 2009):
 'What one supposed to think and what one suppose to do?' when sexual activity loss its spark?I am presenting here some raw materials for you, which will help you to think, because you are the right person, to think for your life. Other can help by giving you out line of the thinking process.Most important point in your life is your husband's saying that he is missing the 'spark !!!'He and you both must have experience the spark of your sexual/spiritual life. Yes, sex is spark of light. In real fact, one should work to turn this spark in to full light. Now you should consider that sexual life is in fact a 'enlightening life' It is not only mechanical penetrative job. But, reversal of what most people live their mechanical life with worry, do the BJ is ok? How he get and how he give? Your husband is really very intelligent person. You can deal with him intelligently, and not emotionally. As per your statement, you both have emotional agreement, which is not sufficient. See, sex is more then sum of emotions. It is a type of spiritual achievement.With this new material...think over it, and put forward your new proposal before your husband and promise to rebuild new life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): thank you all for your advice.
You are right. :(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): I would not contact him. He will find the grass is not greener on the other side. And, he will probably come running back. Sminky gave great advice. Keep busy, try and stay happy, workout and leave him alone.. It is so hard to do but you can do it..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (8 December 2009):
No, I don't think it is. I am sorry. But a man who loves a woman that much, doesn't' split. He keeps working at it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): Thank you.
I have been considering all of the above mentioned...
I am over-thinking as always.
What keeps me considering this, is that along these years we have successfully worked through other maturity issues he has had and I have seen him grow quite a bit...
So I guess I am trying to figure out if this is something that can be dealt with and is worth a shot to try or not.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 December 2009):
The problem is you were his first serious relationship, which leads me to conclude that he's probably got a commitment problem.
You have to be brave and realize he's not the guy for you. You have to end this quickly and move on, no matter how hard.
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A
female
reader, Sminky +, writes (8 December 2009):
 Waiting to break up is putting you in a horrible situation. The end of a relationship is like a death (of the life you would have had together) you need to be able to grieve for it and move on. He is not allowing you to do this. By waiting he gives you hope that he may change his mind.
Some say a man has to be in the right place in his life to meet the 'one'. He probably thinks you are but without experience he can't guarantee it and the possiblity is eating away at him. This, however, is not fair on you. The saying goes if you love someone set them free. Its corny, but true. The problem is YOU have to assume that the relationship is over and move on. If he comes back great, but you don't wait for him because if he does find someone else, you'll be the one who loses out in the end. Don't waste your life on him.
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