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Blowjobs...What's my problem and what do I do about it?

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Question - (31 July 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Ok, so I have been married for over 13 years, and have only gotten off by a blowjob once in my life and it wasn't my wife. I love when my wife goes down on me, it's truly amazing to watch her as she engulfs me, but for some reason I just can't cum. It frustrates her, but at the same time frustrates me as well. I am some what of a controll freak, where I control when I cum during sex to, but it's a combination of a couple of things, pressure, friction and control. I think if the pressure and friction are there, it will make me lose control, but I am not sure. What's my problem and what do I do about it?

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 July 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntIt might be you have an elevated amount of respect for her subconciously and don't want to make her feel badly abhout herself. If she wants you to climax in her mouth, she'll let you know.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2010):

I don't cum either when my g/f gives me oral. I actually find that it's too intense, plus I'm a little put off by the fact that I'd kiss her afterwards. I guess you're just not relaxed enough, perhaps? It's quite hard to let go of pressure sometimes. The frustration won't help. Maybe you need to focus on more on the sensation and less on the climax. That way you'll get used to it more perhaps.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010):

It could possibly be an issue with losing control and thinking about it or having it in the back of your mind wont help. also it could be an issue with feeling insecure.

as its you have been married to your wife for a long time, so you know you can trust her, you might find that you need to have the control taken away from you completely. and preventing you from using some senses would allow your mind to just focus on what you wife is doing to you.

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