A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my bi-boyfriend, the man I have loved for the longest time, the man I have sacrificed so much of my time and have given my entire self to, has just revealed to me that he cheated on me twice: once when we just got to gether, and the second with someone else (second time, he actually had sex with this guy. a guy he told me straight out that nothing was happening between him). I have lost all trust with him, and everything he tells me, i take it as a lie. I want to break up with with him, but I live with him now. And, we started off as best friends and became boyfriends, he told me he cared about me, but now i know its a lie. He is just using me as his toy, a sexual pleasure he knows that will always come back. I know im a fool, but for some reason I cannot let him go. I love him, atleast i think i do, but i dont know how he feels about. we once had a conversation, and he told me that if we break up, he will never be able to get over me since he cares about me way too much. because i have "something" special. i dont know if i can believe him anymore. My question is: how can I get over the man who I have devoted so much time to, who i care about, and who I have given my all to? i dont know if i can believe him anymore. please help1 :(
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 April 2010):
 I'm not sure why you ask for help when you know most people will tell you to drop him, move on.
You need to start thinking about WHAT you want, WHO you want to be and be with. If you can't leave him because of financial/housing issue you NEED to work on a way to get yourself more independent. Get a job, save up for an apartment, move out, move on.
A
female
reader, Just Diana  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 babe, do yourself the favour and leave this guy. Come on. You deserve better. Do the NO CONTACT thing for a few months. I guarantee you will be stronger and more level headed about the whole thing. You may even ask yourself what on earth you ever saw in him. I am so so sorry that you are hurting so much. Some say time heals all, however I thinks it what one does with said time. Busy yourself!!!!!! keeeeeep busy!!!! But, having said that I also think its important to allow yourself the quite times and the doing nothing time, to feel your sadness, loss and to really grieve the loss of so much, this realtionship, this man, yourself?......
I sincerely wish you well!....and know that I am sending you strength and courage to get through this very painful situation.
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A
female
reader, Isa123 +, writes (23 April 2010):
 Oh goodness... =(
Cheating hurts, I know it does. However, if your man wants you to believe and trust in him, he has to prove himself for it.
It makes things tougher because you two are living together, but why not take a break from him? You the time out and you need to get your mind straight and so does he! You both need to seriously talk over the issues in your relationship.
As for being the sex toy, start to put yourself in the driver's seat and say no every once in a while. He will know that you will not always be there...
Good luck to you!
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