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Bf is threatening my future teaching career by posting our sex tape on the Internet. What can I do??

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 August 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Please help. I don't know what to do? I'm going to become a teacher and as a teacher I cant have porn or any pictures of me. My boyfriend and I made a video last year, and know he is threatening to post it on the internet and says he already has. HELP. Ive been going to college for four years. I don't want to lose all of it. I don't know what to so. After he threatened me I tried to leave but its hard because we have a child together. I need help. Also after he threatened me I threatened him bad by saying I was going to turn him in for fraud because he collects disability and he doesn't need to. So I don't know if I'll get in trouble for blackmailing him to not blackmail me. PLEASE HELP! What do I do? And will I get in trouble?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (27 August 2011):

chigirl agony auntContact the police, posting videos of others online without permission is a crime. Add that with his fraud and the police might get very interested in your case.

The sex tape might be online for ever if he posted it. But you can have your dignity back by bringing him to justice for it.

If you are still in a relationship with him, get access to his computer while he's away. Then find the tapes and delete them, check recent internet history, and find proof for him uploading any videos and maybe delete if he has, to try and prevent any damage.

Or google and try to find yourself to provide proof to the police.

In worst case scenario... you're not the only girl who's landed online without consent. Even Paris Hilton got online with her sex tape, and several other famous people. They get by with their lives, and you will get by with yours. It is a horrible experience to go through, I know, I've been there. But, once you get free from this man he can't hurt you again, and then you will know not to make the same mistakes again.

Hit him the right way: take it to the police. Or get a lawyer and sue him. Getting a lawyer can be a good idea in any case, as you have a child together. If he's been up to fraud you have a much higher chance of getting sole custody.

You'll get through this! Just keep your head clear, he is only trying to hurt you, but he will not succeed if you show him you are better than him, you wont crack down and do as he says, you'll stand with your back straight and do the right thing. He can't hurt you unless you let him.

Your career as a teacher will be fine. Even if the sex tape is online. There is a very very tiny chance that anyone who hires you will find that recording of you, unless it has your name on it, and if it does have your name on it you have evidence to sue your ex and get him back for it anyway.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011):

Bottom line I will give you is dump him, throw him out and YES drop him right in it with the fraud squad!...also I would get a lawyer to help get that sex tape back and to make sure he doesn't have a copy! It may cost money but your career is more than worth it- this prat isn't!

How did you manage to have a child to such a waste of space? And dare I ask the reason he is black mailing you? Jealousy perhaps? Either way he is a bum, a loser, not worth you or your babies time!

You have worked so hard for your career and you don't need this prat tryin to pull you back!

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