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Best place to lose your virginity?

Tagged as: Teenage, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 May 2009) 19 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2009)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I'm ready, and I'm gonna lose it. The question is where?

Ideas anyone?

The beach?

The woods?

Not some sleazy hotel room or my bed. This is the first time you'll always remember. I want to make it memorable in so many different ways, and I need your help!

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A female reader, chelseaaaa x  United Kingdom +, writes (28 June 2009):

chelseaaaa x  agony auntwell i dno how old yu r but trust me i lost mine at 15 bad i knoo and i lost it in bushes trust mee not the best placee if i culd do it agenn i wuld rather do it in a bed soo babe if yur listenin to mee go wiv yur partner and find a nice room and do it there it will be alot nicer nd losing yur virginity is a quick painful experience x make sure it is with the person yu love and just go wiv the floww xxx

good luck to you hunn xxxxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009):

I think you shuold lose it in a car thats wear i lost mane

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009):

first of all do you really know what sex is and what you do.

you do not want to get sand or twigs in your vagina. It hurts alot to. so it dosen't really matter where as long as its with the guy you really like and can't get stuff in your vagina. I suggest a bed. not neccesarily in a hotel room either. I find that unromantic.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009):

I know you might think you are ready, but please think the whole situation out. I am the mother of a 15 year old girl who lost her virginity to a 16 year old boy she was going out with for 6 months. She thought she was in love and that he loved her. They broke up soon after and he is now off to his next "love". She is not nieve and had other boyfriends but now regrets that she did not wait until they were going out at least a year and that she had really thought things through.

It hurt (physically) and that is the easy part. there are so many emotional and physicological issues to deal with, not to mention the pregnancy issue and STDs. you can get pregnant even using birth control (because the birth control can fail). Also the chance of getting cervical cancer for a female rises the earlier you have sex.

just think things over before you take this step. my daughter thought it was going to be all wonderful and glamorous like they show it on tv or in the movies or that she heard friends talk about. think about this... its acting... you see people on tv survive action thrillers and walk away or cartoons where the character jumps off a cliff and lives. sex is not what they make it out to be... especially for the 1st time and for a girl.

i suggest you wait until you are older and in a very long term loving relationship so you have good memories to look back on later. and when you decide the time is right... find somewhere comfortable - anywhere is special the first time

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009):

I don't think that it matters, it'll hurt, and won't last long. Why not at first do it in bed, and later do it on a table somewhere, whwen you've had some practise xxxx

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A female reader, Fiona xxx United Kingdom +, writes (14 May 2009):

Fiona xxx agony auntLet's face it, I don't think anybody really enjoys their first time, its' more about getting the first time over with (and that's when you are with somebody you are fond of). I don't think having first time sex in an adventurous place would make it any better either. It could make it worse, in that it could add to your nerves as you are having to live up to some built-up/idealised expectation.

Just make sure it's not sleezy/tacky in a toilet/car park(parking lot)or similar.

I would aim for the usual place where you normally make out, as that's a more natural progression.

I agree, a lot of what you suggest is more advanced.

I agree, what are you trying to remember, that you were too young/not ready/the first of your friends to have sex/that you were a kid playing at an adults game?? Basically we are all worried that you are too young (but I doubt you will agree).

Even if you don't want to wait for the guy you'll marry, you will want to wait until you are 18 or not much younger. It should be legal too.

You should want to know your boyfriend a while first and be sure he's special and you have some love for him and you see yourself being together a while. Chances are it might be after a month or two and you might be together 6-12 months for your first. That's far better than doing too much, too young, too soon, when it doesn't mean anything. At least that way you can look back and be honest that you felt OK about things and you did it because you wanted at the time. There is more peer pressure about sex than anything else. But I doubt at 15 you get that, I am sure it's more about you and wanting to be ahead of others, or being rebellious or something.

I could have when I was 14 when I stayed over at a boy's house, but I was glad I wasn't because it didn't feel right and I felt like a kid playing at an adult's game. Nonetheless I am sure a lot of kids at school thought I had as plenty of people knew I stayed over. From that I am sure a lot of people are not having sex, that you think are. I also found when I was 18, things felt a lot different.

Fiona.

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A female reader, Heartbroken-xx Canada +, writes (13 May 2009):

First time sex is rarely ever 'out of this world' amazing.

I suggest you do take it under the sheets, it's comfortable, and why would you want to loose your v card in the woods? that would be a mess, wait until your a little more experienced before you want to take it to that level.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (12 May 2009):

Fatherly Advice agony auntMemorable, she wants. Interestingly I still have the blanket I lost it on over 20 years ago. But, she said no bed, no hotel. If we throw out the unsanitary beaches and woods, the risky back seats, and the exciting but dangerous , roller coasters, motorcycles and sky diving. There must be a good answer out there. If we could put aside the age issue (I've already declared my opinion that abstinence is appropriate at this age), this could be quite an interesting topic. The only difficulty being the first time jitters.

FA

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A male reader, mytwocents United States +, writes (12 May 2009):

mytwocents agony auntI won't try to talk you out of it like some of the other contributors, but what I will say is that your two ideas (the beach and the woods) tell me that you have a pretty distorted notion of what sex is really like (which, I guess, is understandable since you've never done it and are pretty young). You should be aware of that.

Also know that it will be "memorable" no matter what happens, since it’s your first time. So it really won't matter WHERE you do it. But "memorable" isn't the same as "fantastic." I still remember even what pants I was wearing (around my ankles) my first time, even though the place was anything BUT special. At your age, I knew people that lost it on a bus full of other kids! I'm sure that was memorable too. So don't expect a slow-motion, black-and-white love scene from the movies--even if you DO find the perfect place. It'll probably be like your first steps as a toddler--awkward and short.

But I agree with the others that you should find a nice, comfortable place, where you don't have anything ADDITIONAL to worry about. It's difficult enough doing it for the first time without having to worry about someone finding you in the woods, getting sand in an uncomfortable area, or dealing with a drafty, cold breeze. Most hotels (even sleazy ones) don't rent to teenagers in the United States. Cars, elevators, and miscellaneous remote places are even less practical. So what am I saying?

You really need to find a comfortable room with a bed and privacy. If you can't get either one of your houses to yourselves for a while, you'll have to try to find a friend that will let you lose it in their place. Have a towel, BE SAFE, and go slow!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009):

your far to young, youll regret it?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009):

1) the beach one word. sand it gets everywer 2) woods eewww thts just sleaxcy n also theres bugs a hotel would be alot nicer yur in a confy bed n also frm wat ive heard ppl saty yur first time is never pleasent it hurts ... alot

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009):

It looks like there isn't a concern for where, as much as where not, and the number one concern is you just want to have sex.

A hotel room is far less sleazy than the woods. Especially when you are a child as yourself.

Here's some promises:

1. It won't feel good

2. You'll regret it

3. You'll feel used, in time

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009):

Only go to a beach or the woods if you want to get nasty messy sand/twigs stuck in places that will be VERY uncomfortable.

Make it somewhere as comfortable as possible.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009):

First of all sweetie is im concerned about ur age! And also the guy u wanna lose it 2! Now is he some1 u can trust? How long have u known him. Plus ask yourself why ur ready, or is it pressure of bein a 'virgin' i just hope u dont regret it. Good luck all the same hun

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (12 May 2009):

birdynumnums agony auntI'm wondering what exactly you are hoping to remember. If it's that you lost it when you were far to young, and that it was with a guy who you don't even remember anymore, because you had lost it at such a young age; and that sex became just a regular thing to do with whoever you "dated " and wound up sleeping with more guys than you can remember... and that you wish that you had waited until it was with that one great love of your life that you waited for and hoped to raise a family with because you could picture him as the father of your babies; and that you wished that you had given that privilege to someone who loves you and was old enough to make promises to you and keep them! Well, the second scenario is actually what I remember. I waited until I was old enough to know that he was the man that I would spend my life with.

The truth is, Sex isn't immediately satisfying for a young girl, young guys don't know how to give you an orgasm or how the female body works. It's something that you learn together within the confines of a loving relationship with lots of patience and communication. Guys can get off anytime they are with a girl. Nature has made sex develop this way because boys have an urge to spread their seed as far and wide as possible, and women have be picky and choosy and slow to get involved because their drive for sex involves carrying and raising a child for the next 18 years. Have you talked about what happens after you two have sex? Is he sticking around? For how long are you staying partners? Do you know? What happens if both of your 2 types of contraception fail? Is he prepared to become a Dad? Are you prepared to have a child or an abortion?

I hope that you have the same memories that I love looking back on and will always cherish. You are young, you don't have to be in such a hurry, and this will only happen once. Virginity is like a balloon, once it's been popped, it's gone. Take Good care of yourself with the decisions that you make for yourself. Not everyone is doing it, and even if you told him you would, you don't owe it to him to follow through with this if you do happen to change your mind. Your body, your rules. XXX

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A female reader, pebble United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2009):

pebble agony auntAaah, first times suck. Don't do it at the beach, you'll regret that one afterwards, trust me.

I can't see the woods being very comfortable either. Unless you went camping for the night in a tent... that sounds kinda cool. Don't go anywhere dangerous though.

Someone else mentioned saving for a nice hotel. Doesn't have to be sleazy, but a nice plush one. That way you have a nice big bed, the floor, maybe a couch, the shower... ;)

Make sure you're using protection!

Good luck.

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntWhere ever you like, just use protection otherwise the next question you'll be asking is "where is the best place to get an abortion" or "Should I have a water birth" and you really don't want to remember it as the time I caught gonorrhoea.

Why not save up your money and get a nice hotel, unless you like bugs and sand in your most intimate regions!

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A male reader, mikefromms United States +, writes (12 May 2009):

Hey, I know you don't want to hear this, but get a grip...don't do this just for the sake of saying you have done it.

Listen carefully, when a guy sleeps with you he will go brag to his friends and lose respect for you. You become an object to him and that's all. Yes..no matter if he is saying otherwise.

Wait until you find a guy who will respect you and wait until marriage. Pre-marital sex is the number one reason most marriages today don't make it. The other is money, of course.

You have a choice to make.

Mikefromms

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (12 May 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntThe first time isn't that special. You need to find somewhere which you are comfortable. How old are you, the legal age for sex in britain is 16. X

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