A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't seem to come to terms with whats happened.The story starts a long way back. me and this guy were friends, we had a rough past but all that is now forgotten. he was such a nice guy, caring, willing to help anyone, never used people etc. I liked him, i was confused by his behaviour but everyone around me said he did to, he denied this and we stayed friends. I had no intention on pushing matters further. Although to me it appeared obvious from his actions it also seemed he was to shy. I left the matter alone. I did evntually tell him my feelings and as before he said he didnt feel that way, i respected this and we agreed nothing would change which it didnt. He knows i would never act on it.Time moved on, circumstances changed, and we started hanging out toegther quite often on weekends going to the pub with afew other friends, afew things happened, we got very close, i never kissed him as i was always confused as to what he wanted i just took it all as just friends although it went to far and personal for just friends.We WERE JUST FRIENDS, nothing more, ever, i never thought anything more of it, i could always hope but never let it affect anything. The weird thing was despite all this he always had this problem with me and it eventually became so ridiculous for words. He was fine with everyone else, he would sit there talk to them, but not me. I could NEVER judge it because sometimes he was fine with me and normal but most of the time he wouldnt make much of an effort, he would never sit with me and overall i felt it was very negative. I eventually spoke to him on many occasions about this and he said he didnt realise and he did care. Hes often said im such a nice person.Afew months back it got ridiculous,he made no effort with me, he would tell my mates i was getting at him when i wasnt, everytime i tried to have a joke with him he took it the wrong way but he only told others, and he had a habbit of moaning to his mates about me, WHY if i meant nothing to him did he feel the need to constantly bring me up. it was so weird yeah ok you moan about people you dont like but to keep doing that was freaky! Overall he really acted asif he didnt care, it was obvious he didnt hate me but when i was there i just got ignored except for maybe the odd word or two.... (we were meant to be good friends)I eventually got sick of how it had become and we got into an argument over text, he truely made it clear he didnt care and just said bye then. He then text me the next day saying he gets the message i was saying and he is in the wrong. he hates loosing people, im a really nice and honest person but I guess its time to go our seperate ways. i was confused by this becasue it sounded like i was saying the friendships over. He also said he doesnt want to fall out but what can we do. Whatever i said he would tell me the problem or what i had done to deserve it, since then hes barely spoke to me. He ignores every text or message...i canmt seem to talk to him and really thats all i want to do.3 years of friendships means more to me than to just say thats it. It bothers me that he wont even tell me what the problem is, if he doesnt wanna be friends why not just say and tell me why. Even if he just told me to **** off it would be a start, but he wont he just wont talk to me.I have noticed a change in him though, since hes been hanging round with certain people he doesnt stuff he wouldnt have done before, started smoking etc. Hes still fine with everyone else but i feel like im being punished for caring. I cannot say if anyone else has impacted on his behaviour but at the end of the day its just me...none of his other mates know me. Except someone that he had been talking about me to. but i dont know her. I find it all very strange.I just want to talk to him or at least try and understand why this has happened, its messed me up and i cant just let it go, he was one of my best friends, its going to be hard to cut him out as we live near each other and have the same friends. I've left it as long as i possibly can. Why could this have happened?What did i do?I just want him to talk to me.Sorry for rambling on and thanks for your help
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best friend, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (5 November 2010):
 i totally understand where ur coming from....when someone doesnt talk to you,it's sooo hard.U can't even know WHY.
and this kills you.it seems to me that ur guy is gettin into a new phase in his life,where he wanna cut contact with ya.the question is why?
there are 3 ways u can go about this
1) Ask your mutual friends what's wrong with him
2) Ignore him
3) Do anything in your power to get your answers.
You think about it and choose.
There might be a 10000 reasons why this guy fell out with you.
PM me in my inbox.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Now this...this...this question has impacted me...I will definitely be anxiously awaiting advice...~WOH!~
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