A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I (23/m) met a girl (22/f) last year over the course of a job where we were both away from home. During our time there we became really good friends and it was after the time had ended (and I had broken up with a different girl) that I found out she liked me. We live pretty far from each other so after finding that out from her I decided I felt the same way and due to the distance we decided to wait how we felt until one of us could visit the other. Fast forward about four months (we talked every day) and I visit her. While I was there we had a great time but didnt discuss feelings until the last night where she seemed hesitant. Upon getting that impression I told her I wouldnt want to be just friends (which was basically just an emotional response). She ended up agreeing to date to my surprise. After I left, our friend dynamic never changed. We acknowledged each other as dating and being in a relationship but that was it. Later on she visited me after another four months of us not seeing each other but talking every day and decided she just wanted to be friends. This hit me pretty hard but now that I've had a few days it makes sense. Long distance isn't ideal but now I'm not sure how to approach this. I still really like her and we may end up working at the same place again. We havent talked since she left and im not sure how to approach it. Any advice?
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all, I really appreciate the responses. Great insight
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (14 January 2017):
 i agree with auntybimbim. Just leave it where it stands, don't contact her and if you hear from her just keep it friendly but don't get too deep into conversation. If she ever starts to contact you s lot and it's making moving on hard, it may be wise to tell her to give you some space so you can get rid of the feelings you have for her.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (14 January 2017):
 It's all about timing, isn't it? At the moment, you are both too far apart (physically) to get what you want from this relationship - or at least SHE doesn't seem to be getting what she wants.
Stay in touch, stay friends, but do not rule out romantic attachments with people closer to home. You may find someone you like even more.
If, a long way down the line, you two are still close and still wanting a romantic relationship, perhaps one can relocate to be closer to the other?
I wish you luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 January 2017):
 You both seem to be on the same page in that you both toyed with the idea of a relationship and currently you would like to be more but she would prefer to be friends.
I expect you are dealing with some mixed emotions right now, some regret, some feelings of rejection as a partner, maybe some relief and a lot of confusion about which way to go now.
For now I would leave the ball in her court, if she touches base with you respond in a friendly, yet non committal manner. If you do both end up working in the same place again, be friendly, polite and professional.
I'm glad you have both agreed long distance might not be the best fit for you both ... such relationships need to have an end in sight and firm places for the future.
...............................
|
