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Befuddled with my ex... why is she still texting me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 January 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2011)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hello, this is my first post in this firm. I started lurking around a week ago, and I find this site to be very informative. Anyway here is my story.

My ex-girlfriend and I have been on and off for over two years you. About two years ago, she moved to Ohio and we was doing the Long Distance thing ever since. We had many good times and many bad times. We both made plenty of mistakes during our relationship together. We broke up a couple times, and I proceeded to move on with someone else. When she found out, she was upset and sabatoged my relationship with at the current time my existing girlfriend.

Even though she sabatoged our relationship, I was excited because I realized how much I love her. So for the past year and a half, I tried everything for us to get back together. I think I over-compensated with gifts, money, etc... I was trying to prove to her that I was not the same person when we first got together. I let her define the relationship in her terms, no sex, we barely made out, whatever rules she wanted I obliged because I wanted to win her back. However anytime I sensed we was making headway and improvement. All of a sudden she began to bring up the past. I did this and I did this etc... I was like I apologized over and over again. So we stop talkking and visiting for a while, and then she text back. And we begin the same process over and over again. This same process has been going on for over a year. Even though I had a very attractive prospect who wanted me bad. I held back because of the love I have for my ex-girlfriend.

So, in October 24, my ex-girlfriend said. I am happy and proud of the man you have become, and I wished you was the man you are now when we first met. However, I do not trust you and I can not get past the past. She said she always love me put the past was too much for her. I was like, ok. You did a lot of stuff too, but I never held the past against you. So we stopped talking. I was disappointed but I moved on.

All of a sudden 2 weeks before Christmas, she texted me out of nowhere. I was excited about hearing from her because I have been dreaming about her for a week straight. However, I decided to play it cool. I just kept everything short and sweet with her. She texted me saying I was being really mysterious and so-on. I was like no I am just busy. She texted me again the following week asking me what I am doing for the holidays. I stated I am going to be with my family etc... I asked her the same thing. She stated she is spending the holidays with her new boyfriend. She stated they been talking for the past 6 weeks. I was sarcastic and saying I don't need to send my Christmas card because that would be awkward and inappropiate.

So now I am confused, a part me still loves her and longs to be with her. Another part of me is tired of mind games and emotional rollercoaster. However, why is my ex still texting me. Do you think she still thinks about me or the reason she text me all together is to tell me she has a new man. But if the new relationship is doing so great, and you meeting his family, why are you texting me. I haven't been in contact with you. I don't know what to do. A befuddled brother from New Orleans.

View related questions: broke up, christmas, ex girlfriend, get back together, long distance, money, move on, my ex, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011):

Theres an old expression...toying with someones emotions...and thats what shes been doing with yours. As already stated, she was jealous and didnt want you to move on, so she wrecked your relationship when you tried to move on. Your attention feeds her ego. She likes that you tried changing for her and when you did change, she then told you that you couldnt be together. So why bother getting you to change? It gave her ego a boost to watch you jumping thru hoops for her. She doesnt sound very nice. If i were you, id try and put her behind you now and really move on. Shes not worth the pain and confusion shes causing you. Its all mind games and she will keep playing them for as long as you allow it. Dont let her come between you and the next girl you meet. She will keep trying to ruin things for you because shes getting off playing cruel games with you. You deserve someone who loves and respects you and wants to be with you. And thats not her!

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A female reader, petina1 United Kingdom + , writes (1 January 2011):

petina1 agony auntSounds to me like she is playing games. She broke up the new relationship probably through jealousy, she doesnt want you she doesnt want anyone else to have y ou type of thing. She can't forget the past, she won't let you, how can you ever get anywhere with her. Don't know what you did but sounds like she is making you pay for that. Try and get with the prospective attractive girl and make a new start. She may appreciate the nice man you have become. Some relationships you can never go back to and this sounds like one of them. Text her and wish her all the luck in the world and get on with your life as she is doing now. Good Luck

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