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B/f inexperienced and winds up hurting me while trying to make me feel good

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 March 2012) 13 Answers - (Newest, 11 March 2012)
A female New Zealand age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Ive been going out with my boyfriend for almost a year now and we both virgins and want to stay like that till we both feel ready for sex. The problem is when we do make out he likes to rub my clit but he rubs with alot of force which leaves me feeling sore rather than pleasured. Please could you provide ways in which i can tell him that hes doing it to hard or show him without making him feel bad because hes not really experienced.

View related questions: both virgins, ready for sex

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (11 March 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou say to him: "Hey, (his name) take it easy on that little man in the boat. I love it when you coddle him... but when you make him feel like a sagebrush in a tornado it HURTS!!!!"

He should get the hint and then pleasure you a little more gently.....

Good luck...

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2012):

Miamine agony auntUse lubrication, move his hand and use it to show him how you liked to be touched. Touch his dick very gently at the tip, and get him to touch you gently at the same time. That way he will feel directly exactly what type of touch you like.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for all the advise i really apreciate it

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (11 March 2012):

chigirl agony auntJust be honest with him! Guys aren't good at taking hints, you need to be straight forward. But just be nice, tell him you don't want to make him feel bad and you appreciate that he wants to please you. But that what he does isn't good, and it makes you sore. Then ask him to try rubbing you in a different way, in a way that you like.

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A female reader, MonksDaBomb United States +, writes (11 March 2012):

MonksDaBomb agony auntTell him! Trust me, he won't get his ego bruised by telling him. If he really loves you, he will get the point because he would never want to hurt you.

Either use lube or your natural juices for him to rub your clit. With no moisture, it's just total friction and it hurts!

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A female reader, Tierrra United States +, writes (11 March 2012):

Alll tha i can say is tell him to b a lil bit more gentler with your spot...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2012):

Trust me: a little instruction now is much better than him learning years later that you didn't like it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntShow him how it's done? with your hand on his hand.. And add a little "lube" of some sort.

If you don't show/tell him he won't know that it is not a nice experience for you and he will continue to be bad at it, can you imagine how sex might be like too? You will end up with a lousy lover all because you don't talk about it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthow about saying "ouch that's too hard could you rub a bit lighter please?"

if you don't tell him he won't know. men like a firm grip when they masturbate they just assume we do too.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2012):

Its sad to hear,am a guy who likes reading a lot of articles and still a virgin too,well we guys tend to rush things unlike following the right procedur,its best you discus of it that will build your relatiönship strong if you can bring things open,i would also say guide him when you start making out by doing so he will know how to be rubbing your clit.

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A female reader, lulu55 United States +, writes (10 March 2012):

This happened to me. If it's hurting you, while you guys are doing that you can whisper to him "gentle" or "gentle please" and if you guys are comfortable with one another then it won't be a problem. or maybe grab his hand and guide his hand the way you want it to go. hope that helps!

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A female reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2012):

Xx-Scorpio-xX agony auntTake his hand and guide it as if it were you touching yourself. Just simply show him and tell him that you prefer it softer as it feels better :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2012):

I m here with you. Every time I come across porn I see how hard men touch women there, and I don't understand why. Some young men use porn video to learn how to treat a woman in bed, and this is what happens.

The only way I see here is to just tell him to be more delicate when he touches that place. I don't really see how else you can let him know that you feel uncomfortable. If you can come across some erotic movies that would be helpful also, because in erotic videos all is gentle with kisses and soft touches.Good luck

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