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B/f 3 years younger and dad doesn't approve!

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 March 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2011)
A female United States age 30-35, *ovestruck91 writes:

My dad doesn't think i should be dating my boyfriend because he three years younger than me. He is 17 and I am 20. How do i get my dad to approve of him.

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A female reader, Auntie Mel United Kingdom +, writes (12 March 2011):

Auntie Mel agony auntI'm very glad everything worked out for you x

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A female reader, lovestruck91 United States +, writes (11 March 2011):

lovestruck91 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hey everybody thank you for the advice, i talked to my dad and everything is alright. He was just worried that i was spending too much time with him and that i wasn't thinking about wat i wanted to do with my life and where im going.

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A female reader, lovestruck91 United States +, writes (11 March 2011):

lovestruck91 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

even if he wants to do it.

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A female reader, lovestruck91 United States +, writes (10 March 2011):

lovestruck91 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He is very mature for his age. He pays his car insurance, pay his phone bill, has a job, is going to a trade school plus high school. his grades are good. well im going to talk to my dad tonight to see what the problem is or what hes worried about.

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A female reader, chaoslove2266 Canada +, writes (10 March 2011):

chaoslove2266 agony auntI have that same problem with my dad. I just think like aunthonest is said is give him time and he will learn to accept that you are dating someone you like. And have him understand this is what you want not what he wants.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2011):

I don't understand why your dad is so involved in your life and as long as the kid treats you well, why he even cares?? I find that very strange. Most 20 year olds are off in college anyway, so their parents don't even really know who they are dating or what's going on anyway. But it is an age when most parents let their kids go off on their own and trust that their decisions will be wise ones.

I assume you live at home? What are you doing with your life? Are you in college? Is there more to your dad's aversion of this kid? I mean if you are doing nothing with your life, living at home, not trying to get educated or work and yet are making time to date someone younger than you (meaning he won't offer to marry you and take care of you anytime soon) then perhaps these reasons combined is why your dad is angered.

If you do have everything going for you, your working towards something, you are in school, you are ambitious, you are a go getter, you are doing something with your life, and you want to date a 17 year old then in that case I think your dad might be meddling where he doesn't need to be meddling. If that is the case then you are dealing with a possessive parent and you can't change your parents. If your dad is unreasonably meddling then the sooner you can get your own place and move out and live your own life the better off you'll be.

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A female reader, Auntie Mel United Kingdom +, writes (10 March 2011):

Auntie Mel agony auntHello lovestruck91,

I myself believe that age is just a number and with a 4 year age gap between myself and my fiancée I have realized that others do not have the same opinion as me.

With my relationship, the age gap was accepted for I am very mature for my age. Trying to make your boyfriend seam mature to your dad would be a great way for your dad to feel able to accept him.

There is no way in which you can force your dad to approve of your relationship but there are ways in which you can try and help him to get used to the fact and then accept it.

The best ways to do so is to try and make it clear that you are both happy together and that you are both serious about your relationship.

It will all just take time. Best wishes xxx

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (10 March 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntIt will just take time. You cannot force somebody to accept something they are not ready to accept. If the only reason he disaproves of it is because he is three years younger than you well then work on showing your dad that he is mature for his age. Allow your dad time to see that the both of you are happy together. Goodluck.

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