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Average time to propose to your girlfriend?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 January 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

For anyone who could possibly know... What's the average amount of time it takes before guys propose to their girlfriends?

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2010):

k_c100 agony auntIt is very subjective - no-one can give you a definite number of months/years before you propose.

But this is the way I work (and I know my boyfriend thinks in a similar way to me).

1.You need to be in a committed relationship for at least 1 year before you move in together.

2. You need to have lived together for at least 1 year before you get engaged (then add about 1 year to plan the wedding).

3. You need to have been married for at least 2 years before you have kids

I think moving in together before you get engaged is massively important - you have no idea about a person until you live with them. Everything you think you know about that person changes when you live together, you see a new side to them and learn lots of new things about them. So much changes when living together and it either makes or breaks a relationship, so it is good to know this before you make this massive commitment of getting engaged/married because things often go wrong when you live together. So give it a year or more of living together and then you can be sure that whoever you are living with is the right person for you and it confirms they are the person you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with.

1 in 2 marriages end in divorce - I honestly believe the main reason for this is people rush into marriage after a few months these days instead of really getting to know that person and learning every little thing about them.

What is the rush to get married? If you love someone that much surely it makes no difference whether you are married or not, as long as you have them in your life and know that you have a future together then surely that is all that matters! Marriage is making a commitment to each other, and it is a life-long commitment that binds you forever. It is not something to be looked upon lightly, nor should anyone get married while they are in the first flushes of romance. It is a serious decision - not a light-hearted one based purely on love.

I understand that during the first year or so of being in a relationship, everything feels wonderful and you are madly in love with each other - so planning the future is exciting and something you cant wait for. But in reality that crazy in love feeling will wear off eventually, so proposing during those crazy first few months is such a bad idea! You can plan the future, talk about the future etc as much as you want.....but the future will always be there so there is no need to rush into things.

Being together longer before you propose will only make your relationship stronger. Rushing into a proposal will only lead to problems!

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A male reader, james675 United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2010):

9 months for me

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010):

If you think marriage is forever I'd say 18 months minimum.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010):

AVERAGE? WTF, do you think every guy reports this number and some accountant tallies the running average for the planet?

This time, I proposed after about 14 months- wanted to make it past the 1 year mark... The first marriage I proposed after about 5 years. She was crazy as bat shit, and I put it off as long as I could- should have never married her, but w/o going through what I did I would have never met the love of my life...

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (21 January 2010):

The Realist agony auntI don't think that there is any sort of time line for something like this. It is all based on the feelings between you and how much of a connection that you two have built up in the time that you have been together. They say it only takes about a month of quality time to decide if someone is the one and I know tons of people will disagree but i have a friend who proposed on their six month anniversary and they are very happily married.

Go with your heart, just take the time to make sure she is on the same page as you.

Good luck.

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A female reader, rose the relationship solver United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2010):

rose the relationship solver agony auntdepending how long you have been together i meen my boyfrend proposed to me wen wed onli bn together 6 months but we live far apart and we r hed over heels 4 each wenever your ready but go careful if u havent been 2gether that long then she might think its to soon

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