A
female
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anonymous
writes:I was wondering whether anybody knew the average amount sexual partners men and women have in their lifetimes. Im 17 years old and only have had One, I know this is quite normal and am relatively happy about it. I suppose im asking, what can i expect in the future? thanks. Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): all guess ten
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (27 April 2008):
 I have only had 6 sexual partners.
The guy who I married, two previous boyfriends, and 3 one night stands.
I used to get a lot of male attention, so looking back, I could have doubled this figure by the time I was 21. Must have been a bit strait laced looking back.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): I have only had 6 sexual partners.
The guy who I married, two previous boyfriends, and 3 one night stands.
I used to get a lot of male attention, so looking back, I could have doubled this figure by the time I was 21. Must have been a bit strait laced looking back.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): There's no "normal." Everyone's different.
You hear people say this, and what usually comes to mind is how some people have 5-10 partners but there are always those few who have like 50 . . .
. . . but what rarely ever comes to mind (until it gets pointed out with an example that surprises everybody else in the room) is that there are lots of people who go to their 30s & 40s as full-blown virgins. And a lot more who've dated a list of people but still only slept with 1 or 2 out of them all.
There's really no surefire rules about this stuff anymore. Obviously older age tends to cause a higher numbers of partners on average, but that's about it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): I'm eighteen, and I've had thirty-three partners. I regret all but a few of them. Well, one doesn't really count. She was female, and we never even got too close before I got weirded out because I'm just not into girls. Long story, her idea, we were always great friends and we still are.
Like everyone else said, it's quality, not quantity.
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A
female
reader, samohir  +, writes (15 November 2007):
 It surely depends of The kind of person is somebody and the circumstances he Is put into.Im 24 and know friends that have had only 1-2 partners in their life and others that had 10-15. It really depends on many things. I would not be that concerned about the ammount of partners in future, honestly. But you need to know Urself. Some ppl,can sleep with a Lots of others Not bothering their mind and consience, and Some may sleep with 1 caousing their mind to bother. It really depends of the kind of person Ure. Good luck and Enjoy
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): Um let's see. I am 26 and I have slept with 8 guys. Most girls that I know that are my age have slept with around this many guys. Or more. But I also know some girls who have slept with a lot less. At my age nobody really judges you. And furthermore, most people don't ask. At my age alot of guys don't ask cause they would be too embarrassed to have to tell you how many they have been with.
It is never really about quantity. It shouldn't be. I mean people change in their lives. Or go through phases. Naivety gets the best of you sometimes.
Just always know what you want and who you are. And be SAFE.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007):
If I knew a 37yo woman who'd slept with 100 men then I would call her loose. Regardless of what kind of thought processes was justifying each individual action to herself at the time, the final result was pretty clearly loose.
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female
reader, BreeBree  +, writes (15 November 2007):
I think you have a huge influence over how many men you sleep with in the future. I knew I didn't want to sleep with a man until I got married, so for me it is only 1 man.
I have friends who have sex with someone at almost every party they go to. For them it will be much more.
Some will only have sex if deeply committed in a relationship. For each person it will differ greatly.
You are in charge of your body and ultimately you decide. I hope that was helpful. I do agree with the people who posted earlier about how quality is more important than quantity.
I hope the relationships you engage in provide you with great growth and the expansion of ideas and improvement of your life. :)
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female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (15 November 2007):
 Hi,
The average is somewhere between 7 and 10 partners, but I'm sure that most people are not regarding this as a "goal" and many may regret a few of these "numbers". Probably the more important issue is to take every relationship seriously, as your health is at stake, both emotionally and physically. People differ on the amount of people that they are comfortable sleeping with. What feels normal to you may not be normal for someone else. Your personal integrity and morals belong to you and you alone. You should be comfortable with the decisions that you make for yourself!
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male
reader, SamuraiRick +, writes (15 November 2007):
 Well the number of sexual partners you have in a lifetime I believe is a matter of luck and timing. You could meet a guy tomorrow that honestly could be the only guy you ever need. Seriously, you don’t want live to the age of 37 and have 100 partners. That’s not only risky behavior it could affect with you emotionally and when you come right down to it, what you want in life is not multiple sex partners but happiness in the relationships you find in your life. Strangely, multiple sex partners works for men better than it does women. We are better equipped emotionally to handle that and can easily separate sex from love. Women are more into the emotional side of a relationship, and seek more in a relationship than sex. Yes there are exceptions, but largely women have fewer partners over their lifetime then men.
At such a young age you shouldn’t be concerned with quantity, but quality. Don’t even make a count. Only professionals count. Don’t ever get self-conscious about how many people you’ve had sex with. As a matter of fact that kind of information should be confidential with you anyway. You never have to discuss it with anyone other than a good friend or your psychiatrist.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  + ♥, writes (15 November 2007):
 Hi,
It is not a question you should be asking yourself. It's as though you need to put something in the bank so you can judge someone in the future: "He's had 10 different partners so he must be a player" . this is a dangerous route to go down.
You might fall in love with a man who has slept with 50 women, but it doesnt mean he is unable to commit. I have a friend who has probably slept with over 100 men in her 37 years, she is not a women of ill repute just someone who picks the wrong guys time and time again.
At the end of the day it doesnt matter, though you will find plenty of guys on this site who are obsessed with their girl's sexual history and the number of men they have slept with - its best to avoid these types as they carry these insecurities with them making their partners life a misery.
Good luck, and dont worry about it, how many sexual partners you have is nobody's business but your own .
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