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I'm sleeping with my cousin!

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 December 2004) 228 Answers - (Newest, 14 March 2011)
A , anonymous writes:

after a family party i found myself really drunk and alone with my older and good looking cousin.

i have always had a crush on him and looked up to him. we get along great considerring the age difference. we ended going back to his place and had sex. we both knew it was wrong but it felt great. the next morning things were a little awkward between us like any other one night stand only this was more complicated. we agreed never to mention it again and for a few months we never seen eachother. after not seeing eachother for a while we ended up meeting for a drink. at first nothing happened but after a few more meetings he kissed me and said he really liked me. we had sex again and this time it didn't feel awkwards afterwards. this was a about 4 months ago and we have been meeting up atleast twice a week at his place for sex since. we talked and we want to be together but we know the family would dissaprove. he has mentioned going away together but i don't know what to do. what if it doesn't work out. i would lose everyone i love. i really want to be with him but don't want my family to find out about us.

what should i do?

View related questions: cousin, crush, drunk, one night stand

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A female reader, blahblahblah23123 United States +, writes (14 March 2011):

hey... even ihad a nearly same problem... we're juz 15 n we really liked each other... but after that, we realized that it was wrong to continue. so we just decided to be normal cousins, except sorta close. just find some one else hot, fall in love n you'll slowly forget your cousin

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011):

i am in avery simular situation me and my older 2nd cousin were attracted to each other instantly when we regained contact after many years, we kissed and talked and out of respect for are family we decided that we would wouldnt go any further as i fort it was jus lust anyway, how wrong was I!! alls i could think about was him i wasnt even remotly intrested in anyone else even though i did go out an try to meet new people, i was deverstated to come back home and find out he had a new girlfriend then he finshed with her, we have been together for a year and half now iv never been so happy, my family didnt like it at first but they have seen how well we get on and how happy we make each other an they have come round to the idear, i say every1 to ther own do what makes you happy if we finished i wouldnt be sad because its over i would smile because it happened i chose not to live with regret thinking what if??

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010):

Honestly you should not care what others think about your relationship. At the end of the day, you and him will be in each others arms while the rest of the world tends to their business. You should not give up your love just to please the eyes of others. You have a tremendous opportunity to be happy with each other versus being a couple that ends horribly years down. You have true love on your side and that is worth fighting for. I am dating my cousin and never in my life have i felt like this for a woman. My family disagrees with my relationship but i will not lose my love for others. Imagine the nights you will spend thinking what could of been while others simply live their lives.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010):

I moved to California 10 years ago. I met my cousin for the first time. We had a sexual relationship for 5 years. I dated so many different people and fell with some of them too. He lived with 2 different persons during that time. We did this behind our family's back and lovers' back. Five years ago we got together, this created outburst with our family, but along the way they kinda have "accepted" this or at least they're doing it for us. I got pregnant and we became afraid that the baby would be born abnormal, luckly the baby is a perfectly healthy. We live our life like a regular couple.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010):

I have a little diffrent story from some that I am reading,My cousin and I were never inapropriate with each other as children.there were no kisses and in fact my cousin was very quiet. I never knew his feelings for me as a child other than we were realy close and stuck by each other. We have not seen each other until 2 days ago sense we were children. We are now in our 40's. We fell in love at first glance. I have never believed in love at first sight.... In fact I always thought it to be silly and a sign of inmaturity when I heard of this reaction to love.At my age I do know the difference between love and lust. I do believe this does exist now. I am in the same boat as the others, what to do? I would like thank you for having the courage to share this insite, as I was lost before I found others.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010):

I know exactly how you feel and what you are going through.i am also in a sexual relationship with my cousin since the past 3 years.it so happened that we had a crush on each other since childhood days but because of my shymess i couldn't tell her and same with her.so when she broke up with her bf she cried and came home and hugged me hard and said why cant all boys be like you and her body touched my body and i instantly proposed her and she accepted it.at first we said we would only kiss and smooch but never get married.but gradually our love became so strong that one thing lead to another and we had sex almost everyday as there would be noone at home.now we are planning to separate from our family and start our different family.we both know that chances of abnormal kid are high but we seek genetic counselling first and even if result is not positive we have promised to be with each other.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010):

I seriously say all of these storys of you people liking your cousin start with how they look... I really wonder if its love or lust. I will not judge no one here but I would like to know why does it start off with looks? If everyone got attracted to their cousin because of their looks then its lust. Please understand everyone incest is wrong it feels right u all say??? well feelings go away ur experiences dont... I would not recommened you looking at ur family for a date i recommend yall go out and find someone else. i dont recommend cousins being with cousins but if thats yall choice I wont stop u but let me say 1 more thing... What if yall decide to have a kid and yall do? What if the kid has birth defects? Or what if the kid is picked on at school because their parents are related? Please people before yall consider thinking about your future with your cousin think about the consequences of ur family friends and kids and what they will have to endure

(Mr. Six)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010):

ive known my 2nd cousin for about 1 year now, i feel like ive known him for ages, weve had certain flings, just kissing and sexual activity sometimes, he has a girlfriend, i love him, i honestly do, i dont like anyone else as hard as i try, the age gap between us isnt big atall, an were only young an experiencing, but i dont see anything wrong with it atall, at the end of the day its abit of young fun...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010):

Having children with anyone is risky. It all depends on your family's genetic background. If there is a high level of genetic defects in your family, then obviously you might not want to have kids with your cousin. You can always be sterilized.

However, for most of us; having a child with your first cousin increases your chances for birth defects from 2% for the general populace, to 4%.

Yes these stories of birth defects are heart breaking, but if they knew their family carried the gene, maybe they shouldn't have taken the risk. Odds are if you have a healthy gene pool, having a kid with your cousin will not result in a birth defect.

Also, cousin marriages have been encouraged since the dawn of time. Why? Simple really. Odds are your cousin shares the same morals, religious beliefs, tastes in food, general likes and dislikes, tolerances, etc etc etc. There is nothing in the Bible about not marrying your cousin. To the best of my knowledge incest is defined in the Bible as being one of the following; brother, sister, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, step mother, stepfather, step grandparent. There is no mention of cousin.

Only in maybe the last hundred years have people made it taboo in the USA. In some places there are religious sects of Hindus I believe that think of it as incest. The Catholic Church will make an exception if you pay for it ( I always find this hysterical).

Look I have loved my first cousin once removed since I was a little thing. We are less than a year apart. He followed me everywhere from the time we were toddlers, and would kiss me and hold my hand. I love him tremendously, and always will. I decided not to tell him when we were young because I wanted him to have a normal life. I told him after we were grown and married, just so that he would know how special he is to me. He has elected not to speak to me out of respect for his wife. I respect that we are both happily married, and I wish him well. He will always be very special to me though. I do wish people wouldn't be so harsh on cousin lovers. If this hadn't been such a taboo, I am sure that we would have dated, and probably wound up together. He and I were always best friends, and each other's favorites. Thank you society for telling me what is best for me. God knows I couldn't figure that out on my own huh? All you cousin haters should pick up a book once in a while and read it. That is assuming you are literate. I have both a 2 year degree, and a 4 year degree. I am not from Tennessee, and I do not play the banjo thank you. Oh yes, I am also bilingual, and have a very high IQ. for those of you who are seriously interested in this topic go to: www.cousincouples.com -Ali

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2010):

We are cousins in love with each other. We want the life of being husband and wife & having our own family someday but if we are human beings and we look at each other as a man or woman why should some of you people be so judgemental. Before we were brainwashed into being told it was wrong there was no such thing as incest. Family members married within the family to keep their royal bloodlines and riches within the family. Does anybody know that? Or are we so naive that we never thought about how things did come about before the world started making an issue of such matters. In the olde days if u were married to a man and he had siblings like brothers or sisters or even cousins. Once u were widowed and stayed in the family you would remarry a sibling brother in law or sister in law or whom ever in the family even a cousin. So shame on those who pass judgement on people like us who love our cousins. As long as we love each other and want to be together as man and wife, what is wrong with being with someone you love. It is no different than marrying a man you don't know after a few month's or a few years. When you grow up knowing each other and loving you for who you are for all those years can make a difference between a good or bad marriage.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010):

My situation is different but similar to everyone elses. I feel in love with someone who annoyed me. We had been "bestfriends" for about 2 or three years already, and i knew he always liked me, but i never tried it. finally, i gave us a chance, but during our relationship, i felt trapped, so i ended it. several months later, we started getting closer, our friendship had befun to exceed its limits. i started falling in love with him. it's summer, and i'm finally back with him. i'm in the greatest moods possible, well my mom decides to get curious and go to his mom's facebook, she realizes that his mom and herself share quite a bit of mutual friends, she begins to wonder how this is possible, so she's kidding-ly states something about him being my cousin or part of the family in some way, i laugh because i didn't think so, but then i get curious, and i ask him. it turns out we were fourth cousins, he knew and didn't tell me because he didn't want to freak me out. i freaked out though.. i know fourth cousin is kinda far, but it's not so far, that makes him my mom's third cousin, and my grandpa's second, and it just keeps going. well i got over it, but my mom didn't. alot of the family didn't approve, so i broke up with him. it is one of my biggest regrets, but i'm glad he and i are still friends.. i don't see him as a cousin, going through this though, has made us closer that ever. i am still able to call him mine, i trust him with my heart, and the same with him. everything i have to live with, is fine, i admitt, but honestly, it could be better.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010):

i'm in the same situation. i love my cousin though we have 3yrs age difference, i don't know but i just love him for who he is. our house is just too far and we only see each other on vacations. we decided we will figure this out since its only been a year. i never felt this way for anyone else. it hurts me thinking that our love is just not right. but we don't care, we just love each other that much. as for now we just think of loving each other, and we're open that time will come that we have to go our own seperate ways. :(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010):

Am in love with my cousin.. it's obvious he likes me back but he won't say anything.

My world is falling apart... and quick glances and hope are not enough.

I need him next to me.. it doesn't matter if we're cousins-you can't help who you fall in love with and I've never been this sad in my entire life :'(

I just wish he wasn't afraid to tell me the truth..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010):

I've been in love with my cousin for 20 years and finally told her this past year that I love her. She at first was hesitant but agreed to meet and we ended up having sex. We figured out we are soulmates and need and must be together but we also are worried about our family and friends. This kind of love will last forever and Im more worried she is spooked and thinks its best not to be with each other and move on because of our situation. I however can't live in hiding or live without this kind of love because its once in a lifetime kind of love.............Please someone tell her to not get spooked and make the biggest mistake of our lives.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010):

For those who are afraid to tell there cousin that they are in love with them, I suggest that they don't wait any longer... I mean I know it hurts believe me I wouldn't be on this page if I didn't know how much being in love with someone in such difficult situations hurts and how difficult it is but if you keep this hidden for any longer someone else will come into your cousin's life and trust me you'll regret not telling her in the long run...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010):

if you want to be together I don't see anything wrong with that, I just personally wouldn't have children by your cousin. I would just adopt so that you don't have to worry about genetic problems.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010):

Hi. me and my first cousin are in love since we were kids.

it all begun from a kiss when he was 7 and 5. i know ur silly but then i continued for several years we grew up like this.then i was 16 i for some reason had to go abroad years past and we managed to live without each other. then after 3 years he came there for our cousinz wedding there his mum wanted him to marry this girl. he came up to and said if i wnt him to tell this to our parents but i refused to do it and told him to marry that girl coz i cnt break our famlies hrt. and he married(i was testing him if he truly loved me) i was so hurt. some one that i loved since so long is going to be somone else. its was killing me.

days passed...months passed then i met this new guy Sid he made me laught made me feel so alive again made me realize that this is not the end we started seeing echother just for the sake that he loves me so much then after few years my parents had issue with it because hes from diffrent religion we had to face too much...then my parents tuk me back to england!

my cousin knew that i was there...he called me up and said "no matter if im married the feeling are same they would never change i love my wife but i love u too can we please meet?" i dont know why i met him once again and it had started again! i feel like a bwitch! i know he dznt love me..he was just bored of his life and wanted something new. but im not able to stop it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010):

Check this site out for facts relating to relationships among cousins:

http://www.cousincouples.com/?page=facts

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2010):

i am also into a relationship with my 2nd degree cousin...but the thing is, i am 11 years older than him.i am 30 and he is 19.we do have many intimate moments and we both are inlove. both our parents don't know about our relationship because i am afraid that they will not accept us anymore.we are hiding it for two years now.i know it is definitely wrong but i love him.God will really forsake us!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2010):

I'm inlove with my second cousin for 6 years..He is not just my cousin, he is my best friend..About a year ago we decided to have a secret relationship.We are secretly meeting each other for a date.We were so afraid to tell this to anyone because we do not want to be forbidden by family and friends..There were times we think that it would be better if we get out of the relationship, alot of times we tried but ended up being together again and making our love stronger.We also thought that it would be better if we will stand and get away just the 2 of us.Each year it's getting harder and harder.Our relationship is becoming more intimate.I don't know how to live without him.Can i be his forvever?Is it possible?.I'm so confuse

Is our relationship worth fighting for..Or is it normal to fall for him..Is there somebody who has the same situation as mine?Could someone give me advise?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010):

I understand completely. For some strange reason I feel the same about my cousin. She's 4 years younger than me and she knows I like her and she likes me. All you need to think about is this it worked for me. If you truly love your cousin you wouldn't care what your family thinks. If your family truly loved you they would forgive no matter what. When I told the that we had sex for the first time together we lost connection for 2 years. But 2 years changes people my family forgave us and saw that we were happy together. We have been married 3 years and everything worked out my bonds with my family are stronger than they've ever been and were happy together. So I say go for it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010):

Ok first off, let me just say to everyone: Age is but a number! And if you are truly in love, then don't let anything stand in your way! Wether it be age, parents, friends, anything! If your family and friends love you they will want you to be happy and will support your decision!

Im currently in the same situation, but younger than most of you said. I'm 14, almost 15, and she's 12, almost 13, and we are second cousins. She lives three hours away, so we only see eachother once per year at family reunions. Every time the reunion ends, I nearly cry because of how sad I am to leave her. I think she feels the same way about me, and I might tell her at our next reunion. Also, a first cousin of mine and a first cousin of hers seem to feel very strongly for eachother, so I'm hoping me and my second cousin won't be the only ones who love eachother.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010):

There is no cosmic gasp of shock when one genetic relative sleeps with another on our tiny planet Earth. There is only socially embedded stigma amongst the inhabitants.

Sure, cousins can be quite attractive. Would I sleep with one? Well, my girlfriend, who I wouldn't hurt for anything, wouldn't like it one bit, so no.

But don't let anyone tell you you'd go to Hell. Any god-critter who uses your sex life to judge you worth eternal torture would is cruel enough to do the same thing on a whim, and not worth considering. You will have to deal with the social stigma and be careful to avoid breeding, and be faced with a tough abortion choice if it fails. And family reunions will probably be awkward no matter what happens. Think long term and be prepared before you act.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010):

Am also in the same situation. We both are in love since 8 years. We both enjoy being together. We chat everyday hours together through sms. We love to marry and get settled in life but family and relationship is causing a big pain in our family. I just can’t live without him and he too..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

Im in the same situation. I been with him for 8 years. We were deeply in love. when My parents and his parents found out and most of my family members they dissaproved it. they said that we are going to hell for what we are doing. We both wanted to be togather but we both didnt wanted to hurt our parnets. So we both got married to two different people.Its reeally hard becasue all we think about when we are with out partners is what me and my cozuin had. we can never compare the love and what we had with our new partners. We still talk secrectley but its geeting hard each day without us beeing togather. We dont know what to do...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010):

I'm in the same situation as u. not only am i sleeping with him but were deeply in love with each other. we don't just f*uck, we make love..... passionate love. its hard being under these circumstances, it really is.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

i am in a very similar situation. i've recently been spending alot of time with my cousin. we have fallen in love. it's the most amazing connection i have ever felt. i want so badly to just be with him in front of people. i know the reaction could be devastating to our family and possibly to our relationship. i finally found exactly what i want and i hate that we hide it. i would love some advice on how to tell the family. anyone that has been in this situation. i would very much appreciate any advice. thank you for listening.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010):

Every one that's saying listen to your heart has watched way too many Disney movies. the human species didn't raise to the top of the food chain because they listened to their heart, they raised to the top because they used their brain! so use your brain damn it, would your family be the type to accept this kind of thing? they're YOUR family, you should know.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2010):

um....,well I really dont know whats wrong,but i think i am inlove with my cousin as well i met her like at the age of 8ish or 9ish at a family party.

I have not told her i love her,becouse im scared what she might say to me or if she wont even talk to me anymore.

Sometimes tho i feel like hes my soulmate i feel really comfortable with her(like i can tell her anything).

So idk i read some of these answers and i feel like i should tell her i just dont know if i should yet im scared :(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010):

I've been my with first cousin for about 7 years now in August. I really love him. It's not only the sexual attraction but it's everything. I didn't grow up with him, We were living in countries. So it didnt feel strange. We have a big age difference. I don't care about it. We've been through so much and it just brought us closer. We've been hiding our relationschip for this long and I'm afraid now that my sister has found out and has been blackmailing me about it. I don't want anyone to know, but at the same time I do. I want to be with him and I'm willing to leave everything to be with him. I don't really think its wrong because we love each other. I'm scared, but if it comes down to everybody knowing, I will be with him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010):

Hmmmmm.................. when you have a child with a cousin or blood relative it has a much higher rate of birth defects, it happens when creatures inbreed as with humans, it's ok to realise your cousin is attractive.But don't act on this. I grew up very close to my cousins. Are you guys from tennessee or something ? Also I read one of you had sex with a brother. What the fuck? sex is a very emotional thing, it's not fucking shaking hands. masterbate or something . fucking hormonal rage anyone? "I am in love with my cousin" fucking seriously?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010):

I am also attracted to my cousin, I feel like an idiot. I have 2 blood cousins that are very good looking. Its tough.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010):

I am aware that the question posted here is over 5 years old. But I am glad to come across this website. I had sex with my cousin in 2007. He is a first cousin and older. The day it happened I was really bored. I couldnt catch any of my friends so I decided to hang out with him. Unfortunately, he was drunk and needed help getting home. His friend and I helped him most of the way but the guy (his friend) took off on some kind of emergency. I helped him out of this clothes because he had puked on it (eeew). I cleaned him up and the next thing he was pulling up my skirt. Ok, I should have stopped him then but I couldnt. I didn't want to. So we had sex. It was quite rough.

He called me the next day and asked me what we had done. I told him it was no big deal. He did sound terrible about what happened. We met that afternoon and we did it again.

Since then we have not slept with each other. He is happily married. I don't feel guilty and I don't think anyone else should feel guilty. Society has weighed us down with what is right and wrong that many of us don't have the chance to do the things that we really want (as long as it isnt hurting anybody).

This is the first time I am letting this out. But then again, things like this should't stop us from living a healthy life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2010):

Ever since last year, when my aunt moved back down from up north, I've been seeing my 2nd cousin a lot more than all the years before, and truth be told, I've fallen in love with him, however, because of our age gap, and non-differing genders, I doubt I will ever be able to express the love that I have for him.

Fortunatly for you, you seem to be already past that part, now if you are truly in love and not just lust, don't let anyone or anything come between you, love is a hard thing to find, true love is even harder, so be sure to hang onto it. and about the rest of your family, once you are certain that its love and not lust, if you feel you need to, tell them about you and your cousin, if they love you, they will be accepting of it, and happy for you, if not, then you were likely better off without them anyhow.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010):

i'm in a similar situation which is why i find myself here, wanted to do some research because last night my second cousin told me that he is sexually attracted to me. he does not care that we are somewhat related. truth be told i've been physically interested in him since we met 7 months ago and told myself it was wrong. now having read so many people who have gotten together with their first cousin i don't feel so bad about it and you shouldn't either. The way I see it he and I didn’t grow up to together so it basically feels like he’s a random stranger. the comfort in my situation is that this is purely physical and we aren't in love and both see it as just fun. But love is love and i relate to an unrequited affair and i do feel your pain. i would never tell my family because i could not handle the backlash that would come of it so hopefully this will follow him and i to the grave. My family means everything to me and I would not live if I lost them, ask yourself if a dishonest relationship is what you want or if you can handle the possible negative backlash. Lots of people fall in love with people they can’t have and eventually accept this and move on with their lives. I am one of them. Chin up kid things will get better you just need to weigh the pros and cons. Thanks for posting your question cause it really helped me, I hope all these people including myself help you too. Best of luck dear.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010):

When it's love it's love, it chooses you and there's not much you can do about it. I been in love with my cousin for over 10 years, family pressures separated us and we went our own ways. Recently we are both divorcing and always seem to find ourselves over and over. The reality it was never a mistake, the real mistake was trying to hide it and marry who we didn't love. For all I know whoever says it wrong should mind there own business. We both hurt the people we married just because the family doesn't like it. Why? If kids are the problem... Adoption is always an option. I'd follow my heart and and go for it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010):

I know what you are going thru...I have been in your shoes. My advice is to take it slow. Make sure you have a real long lasting relationship before you go and tell everyone about it. Most people wont understand or approve of this type of relationship so be ready for the downfall (you may lose many family members over this). If you are not willing to take that risk than move on and find someone new. Ask yourself "what do I really want"...then you will know your answere. Good Luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010):

In my opinion falling in love with your cousin is the same as falling in love with someone of the same gender.. You don't choose to do it but having it happen shouldn't make your family love you less.. Not too long ago it was "wrong" to be with someone of a different race, or of the same gender, and now I have a white female friend dating an asian woman.. Maybe, hopefully, the next boundary to cross is that of cousin love.. Einstein, Darwin and John A McDonald married their cousins, why shouldn't you?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010):

im in love with my cousin to but she doesnt want to have sex with me yet and i think you should go with him i no its much but if you love him you should.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010):

im in the same shithole that you are in except my cousin and i only had sex once. things really fell apart then. at the time before we had sex we were dating for a week and some. then we had sex and 4 days later he dumped me....we still have feelings for each other to this day but things are still awkward at times. the only thing that i can tell you is to follow your heart. what does your heart want more? does it want your cousin (like mine does) or does it want to have a family that will always love and care for you?

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A female reader, elvie13 United States +, writes (28 April 2010):

I have loved my cousin for 21 years and because of the family issue we parted ways, coming together two or three times, then five years ago I found him again and for the first time realized how much he loved me. We came together sexualy for the first time, and since then we have been lovers. He live 214 miles away from me and we don't see each other that often. I am single and have one child, he is married and has 4 children, but we love eachother and for now we don't want to hurt anyone so here we are. I say go for it! We both wish we would have gone for it many years ago. Now we enjoy the time we have together, and hope for many wonderful years to come. Who knows what will happen when are children are older......

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010):

don't worry about the judgment of your family, they will adapt to what ever you decided. You need to think about your relationship and how it will affect you. Will you always regret not being together? If so it how would that affect any other relationship you get into? A real day by day relationship will never compare to a what if fantasy love. I know I love my cousin but we never dealt with our feelings. My wife knows by the way we act when we're together that my cousin and I are in love, and she gets angry at me. I would never cheat on my wife physically but I do emotionally every time I see my cousin Mary.

I'd suggest reading the info on www.cousincouples.com

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2010):

A close friend of mine married his first cousin. Their first child was born with a connective tissue disease that they both carried in a dormant form. The baby lived a life of enormous pain and discomfort until she died at just over a year old.

These 'taboos' came about naturally. It's a part of survival of the species.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010):

I have a hot cousin that i would have totally take the opportunity to sleep with on many occasions, but they never arose, swimming pool? would have loved to touch her below the water, last time we were at a family meeting would have loved to kiss her. I would really fuck my cousin like crazy,

Ok so it's a fantasy,

But my brother and I tried sex once, And I heard that he kissed our cousin a few times, but we were like 10 and saw it in a nudie mag, it felt good but neither got off. so we didn't do it again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010):

I been in your shose but my parents found out and my cussin mom did and we are so in love but knwo that they found out we cant even see eachother :(buh i think you should be with him a nd try to talk to your family and tell them what you guys r going through i knwo its hard but ull feel better in the endd!! goodluck!:))))

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010):

its ok, genetically theres no problem (im a doctor), but the society doesnt aprove it, but you should not care about them, be happy :D

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A female reader, Daisy Doo  United Kingdom +, writes (20 March 2010):

Daisy Doo  agony auntLove, i think if you love somebody, who cares who it is, i think you should tell your family, tell that you love him, maybe leave out sex bit but it will be good knowing that your not keeping anything from your family.

Best of luck really!

xox Daisy Doo xox

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010):

Alrighty! sounds awesome haha...

look in middle east everyone, well not everyone but quite a few marry their cauzin and its perfectly normal. you dont see many disabilities there do you?! NO

so to say that it is higher chance of deformity is not true.

so do what is right.

then again u go to his place twice a week for sex... haha sounds like he is enjoying the sex only.

meet up and go out and be with him as lets say bf/gf but leave sex for a while see how he reacts.. well GOOD LUCK :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010):

Well I for one think this is sick. I right now am going through a separation with my husband because he has left me and his kids for his first cousin that he hasn't seen in 30 years they are saying that they have reunited with each other finally. Well when I do the math on that she was 8 and he was 18. Sounds like he needs to be in jail for that and like some people said it is incest and that is illegal. We have been married for almost 20 years and now both my boys 19 and 15 are having to live with thinking their dad is mentally sick. They tell it is wrong and don't wont to be anywhere near her and because of this he has chosen her over his own sons. Well all can say is that one day they will get what is coming to them cause it is not Biblical right and immoral. They will be the two loneliest people one day because their family has turn against them and so have we. She lefted her husband and her 3 kids and moved 3 states from her home to be with my exhusband. Also what they have done to is adultery.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2010):

Wow that's though. I think you should tell your cousin how you feel and maybe he'll be alright with you guys secretly being together. I don't know just a thought. GOODLUCK!!!and I wish you the best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2010):

im in the same situation im in love with my first cousin i know my familey would maybe even dis-own me but i figured out that if your in love you dont need to let any one get in your way me and my cousin/boyfriend are moving away with each other and changing our names but i hope i helped in some way:) good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010):

I am totally helplessly in love with my fourth cousin. Hes older than me and it is complicated but we are meant to be together.

I didnt know him, I never met him till I was 19 at a family party. The second I saw him I knew we were meant to be together. It was total infatuation at first sight. We text each other all day. After a couple of months we slept together and we have been together for four years now. We have a son who is extremely strong and healthy and we are getting married. I wondered what family and friends would say. No one cared they jst said we were meant for each other.

There is no chance of genetic deformality FYI I share as much DNA with him as any random person you could pick off the street.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010):

People also think it is against christianity and whatnot to be with your cousin. This is not true either, although it may say it in the Old Testament, we do not follow that anymore as we are saved by the grace of god and his son. That is what the new testament is for. It does say it is wrong to have relations or marry your mother, brother, sister, father, their spouses, or an uncle i believe.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2010):

I am dating my cousin right now... he is my second cousin. Before we got together, we were skeptical too. We did all the research and thought about the consequences and there is nothing wrong with liking or sleeping with your cousin. The biggest reason it is so taboo is because people think your babies will be deformed. This is, in fact, untrue. Recent studies show that cousin couples have the same chance of having deformed babies as regular couples because the genetic diversity is so vast and mixed.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010):

I'm sorry but you meet at his place twice a week for sex?. Sounds to me like he's enjoying the home delivery you're offering. We (men) mainly think about how we can have sex and will generally do or say things we don't mean in order to get it. My advice before you run away with him would be to start meeting up with him without sleeping with him come the end of the night. See if he still feels the same way if you don't sleep with him for a while. I hate to break it to you but i think you'll be disappointed with the outcome. Oh and i think its wrong for you to be sleeping with a family member. I'd feel weird if my kid was sleeping with my brother's.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010):

i think the same thing all the time, i wish that he was'nt my cousin, and whats worse is that he's my soul mate!!!!! I hate irony!!!!! Very unfortunate situation!!!:(:(:(:(!!!! And as for birth defects, people wake up!!!! Any1 that i know or have heard of has had no birth defects in their children involving being with cousins, but friends that were'nt did, so what does that tell u? It might sound abnormal and wrong to some but it is'nt!!!! Einstein married and had kids with his 1st cousin and had great healthy normal kids!!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010):

Umm well if this is indeed a completley legit question and a whole heap of shit you made up i'm going to bounce a few ideas around. First off if you are a Christian or a denomination of Christianity you obviously would be going against your own religion but if you dont mind it then go ahead. Ask yourself how close to your family you truley are, either way I have a strong feeling there would be disapproval but thats why you have to make your own dessicion. You have to also think about pregnancy, now im not a biologist but I think that your children would have a high ratio to be subject to disabilitys. Now after all these I'll give you my train of thought on what would go through my mind if I was in your situation. You guys love each other wich honeslty is the biggest dissicion factor, but also your going to go through alot of hardships with the family. In the end as I have said its your dessicious im sure your family will still have love in there hearts for you either way. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY IT IS YOUR LIFE!... Hope I helped....^^

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2010):

Why would you avoid your family's advice? They are the only ones who truly want your good. They may disapprove, and the bottom line is that you won't listen to them. It's still better than going away with the guy.

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A female reader, mina55 United States +, writes (1 March 2010):

Dear I got married with my cousin 6 years ago and we have a beautiful kid. Nothing is wrong with that we have a wonderful life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010):

I'm in the same situation I feel your pain, reading this make me feel better because I was feeling bad cause is a sin, but I love him too girl be careful like you said you will lose love ones. Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010):

Well, I have been in this exact situation and we agreed that it was just fun, and that one day that we would meet our special someone. Lately he has gotten a girlfriend and we're more distant now than we have ever been, but, we still absolutely love each other and always will. Our secret is going to the grave with us and so should yours. You can't marry your cousin for numerous reasons and if you later still love him in that manner, so be it. You just have to face facts and get over it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2010):

I've been in love with my 1st cousin for a while but he doesn't know this i do not plan on him ever finding out. I'm not embarrassed or scared. it's about respect for him and the rest of our family. it's hard but it is the best thing to do. i didn't plan on being in love with him. I think the reason for all of this is that, not only is it taboo, but it IS family. your always going to love your family no matter what and then adding romantic feelings to the mix, your never gonna have a love like it. do what feels right, but weigh the pros and cons and if it's worth it, then by all means. good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2010):

I think if it really is true love, then follow your heart, don't listen to what other people will think or say. The heart wants what the heart wants really! Tell your family, but make them see how you feel, and tell them how you don't want to lose them and tell them they are your family! they should accept you for who you are always! Family are always meant to be there, from start to the finish line! They will always love you, especially your parents and siblings. With family there is unconditional love, and with your cousin, don't look at it from a negative view, if you look from a positive view, things tend to work out better, because that way your not constantly trying to sort this or worrying about that, things just tend to flow. but hey, GOOD LUCK! (:

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2010):

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010):

as someone already posted you need to end it IMMEDIATELY or live with it as a secret forever is that anyway to live? its amazing to me that the ones that are ok with it are the ones living this secret if its soo ok then why not just come out and let everyone know? the reason you dont is simple CAUSE YOU KNOW ITS WRONG THATS WHY such hypocrites i think of having sex with several cousins thinking about it and actually doing it its a very big difference and i know how it will totally destroy ANY family so as hard as it is END IT AND END IT NOW living that lie is not good for you or them or the rest of the family

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2010):

i had some kind of same story with her i´m still waiting but i love her she´s like no one else i would like to be with her by mi side all my life i love her...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010):

It's a very diffucult situation. I should dump him actually, because everyone you know will think it's discusting.

Seeya

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010):

from my point of view, it doesnt sound like he actually loves you if the *meet ups* are basically only aiming at sex. you can find someone else your not related to, sounds a little strong, im sorry. but its best to find someone outside of your family, or things will get complicated.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010):

my first cousin (he is half,we share a grandpa) and i love each other so much not just as cousins!! we've kissed a lot and talked about our feelings for one another. we've played with each others privates and it was so awesome!! i love him so much as he loves me the same!! we want to have sex so badly and we will one day (soon i hope) to spite what anyone thinks. no one knows about us except one another and we want to keep it that way and we both want to be with other secretly forever to make love with each other and be with each other!! so if your heart says be with him then be with him!!!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2010):

Well I have a first cousin that it started with us as young kids. We were traveling with our grandparents and was in the back seat and innocently kissed. However as we got older as teenagers we began pleasuring eachother with our hands and orrally. So at my eighteenth birthday and graduation party she said she wanted to give me a gift and I gave her my virginity. We didn't feel weird at all because we knew it was going to happen. So six months later I was at her party and cleaned her apartment she had for college fixed her dinner and had roses all over and I served her in the nude this really turned her on. That's been 13 years ago and we have intercourse still to this day we love each other so much and are unseperable to this day.Even though she is married we srill do this for each other her husband is willing to share her with me its just something between us. We love helping each other with this none of our family knows. We do have a lot of unprtected sex we wouldn't have it any other way if she gets pregenant so be it. When I am in town she insists I stay at her house and I don't argue because we have the most amazing sex. When my wife divorced me a year ago she told me to come visit her she knew she could help get me beyond it. Its not just sexual even though we had intercourse on several ocassions that week. She just know me and how to help me I am there for her as well. When one of her early boyfriends broke her heart we were both in our early twenties. I went to her apartment stayed with her 3 days and waited on her so she didn't have to do anything. So on the 4th day she asked if she could have sex with me and I didn't refuse her I never would.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2010):

If you know what love is..Ours started when we were teens the attraction started way before that..in early childhood. We jumped into sex too fast, faster than most teen couples would have. One thing I can tel everyone is that loyalness is an absoute must. Sure our parents hated what happened when a pregnancy occcured, others thought i was a sicko, and everyone wanted to **** my girl, and we had to fight to live and protect each other. Needless to say that our parents condemned us so we left minus our daughter. If you find yourself in this situation don't ever try to play around because you are in an extremely heavy relationship.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010):

It's wrong. Really wrong. i Have the same problem 'cause i really like my cousin too. There's a big age difference (he's older than me) and it's really wrong to be with your family. I'm ignoring my feelings. you should do the same. I could be with my cousin if i wanted but i goes against every moral of mine. Keep your distance.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010):

i think you guys should stay together and forget what everyone else says it is your choice it is forbiden love but it is your choice the same things is happening with me and we love each other but we keep it a secret like you but i really suggest that you guys stay together even what everyone else says if your heart want hime you should stay with him and you should really tell your family if they really accept that you love your cousin they would honor that but if they do not well i do not nothing to say but for family yah sure they are your family

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010):

i think you guys should stay together and forget what everyone else says it is your choice it is forbiden love but it is your choice the same things is happening with me and we love each other but we keep it a secret like you but i really suggest that you guys stay together even what everyone else says if your heart want hime you should stay with him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010):

First of all who are we to judge, right?

Well this is a personal experience. I am recently dating/bf&gf with my first cousin. Yeah you heard me first cousin, like my moms siter son yeah..Ok My cousin and I didn't grow up together we were exactly 400 miles apart.

Well he came down to visit and that's how we met, really. I was married and have two kids, it was not love at first sight or anything like that. I mean love was there well common he was my cousin I did care for him. So we just started talking and spending time with eachother..At the time my husband and I were having problems and would always get away and well go to my moms house and that's where he would be. I would say nothing about my problems or anything its like when ever I would get there and start talking to him the anger and problems would go away. So one night I invited him over to my house and we were just being ourselves watching videos online and chatting with friends. When suddendly the unexpected happened yeah we kissed and it never felt wrong or uncomfortable. It felt so right.....That kissed led to sex that same night. After that I was so shoked and could believe what had happened that night I didn't sleep just thinking about what I had done not to much because he was my cousin buut because I was married. The very next day I knew I had a change in heart like so fast, all i would think about was him, day and night. I would wake up thinking about him. I knew that it was more than just a fling. He was single so I didn't know what his feelings towards me were. So I continued being with my husband like all normal. To make this long story short I am ssssooooooooooo in love with my cousin and I would never never ever forget him. i strogly believe he is my true love, my soulmate, my everthing. Oh and our family recently found out and they're reaction was so out of control. Oh and my husband has a strong idea that I am talking to him...BTW, we are seperated at the time and plan to get a divorced I never again could see myself with him after all the lies and secrets I kept from him. Its like my concious will never let me besides really the one I wanna be with is my cousin and that's who I want to spend of my life with. i know its going to be hard especially because I have two kids that will always come first.

All I have to say that if the feelings are there go ahead go for it. Its like homosexuality is not right for men and men to be with eachother nor are woman and a woman but now a days is just i guess normal and even legal in some country's or states.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010):

i am in love with my 1st cousin since the first time i seen her she was breath taking but thats not what attracted me to her it was the way she was and still is she is amazing and i dont think there is anyone who keeps it more real then her we have our arguments like any other couple i met her when i was 20 she was 21 she was married at the time and had two beautiful kids we started to chill together she would help me fill out job applications and thats when i realized that we had so much in common we would laugh about everything go out everywere and time would just fly when i am with her thats when i knew i just didnt like her like a cuz it was more than that so one day we were watching videos laughing and i kissed her not knowing if she felt the same surprisingly that lead to something else. It was the most amazing night of my life. I had never fell for anyone the way I fell for her, that's how I knew I was in love. We've been trying to work something more serious. Our family recently found out as we couldn't hida our feeling any longer. We both are in love and don't care what no one thinks. And anyone who disapproves can kiss my ass.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010):

As a guy, i can honestly tell you truth!

Your cousin, he is in for SEX.

He is only saying he loves you, so he can have more SEX.

Trust me, for us "men/boys", it's about how many girls we did and how difficult they were to "conquor."

I know, when we say things like "love" to girls, it looks & feels so real. But we are lying our heart out, so we can have SEX.

It's like have 2 brains. One on top, but we also have small brain attached to our penises. And 98% of the time, the brain inside the penis overpowers our real brain.

You really want to know what I think about your situation?

Dump him at once! He is an asshole. (He doesn't even deserve to be called a "player") And start living your life! Have a purpose and meaning that is way beyond oneself. Have a life that is way bigger than YOU! I think a woman is at her sexiest point of her life, when she is tackling on something bigger than herself, bigger than life!

I know, i'm not making any sense to you...

But trust me, as one of the boys, I am being very honest.

(i don't even know why i'm telling you this.)

Thanks,

P.s (by the way, if it hurts too much now.... just .. hang in there. In time.... yes... in time... "this too shall pass." )

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010):

i think u should go and if it does work out i think u should then tell ur mum and dad about it and if it doesnt work out then i think u should still tell ur mum and dad but the and then say it was a mistake and i will make it up to u but if it doesnt work then there not surpporting there child in every way i now my mum would if there ever happend to me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010):

I would advise anyone in this position not to go ahead and start/continue a relationship with your cousin. If your family do not accept it you will be stuck with the consequences of their disgust and disapproval for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. You can't take it back. You can't change it. Your whole family will look at you differently. Please don't do it. Forget your cousin and find someone else. It happened to me 13 yrs ago and my family still won't let it go. Some have refused to speak to me for many years making all family occasions difficult - weddings and funerals etc Both my cousin and I have both suffered from the consequences even though we were both very young when it happened. We broke up after just a few months of our family finding out. It's a very complicated situation. I'm very sorry for anyone this happens to as it's confusing and can cause a lot of pain and loss. I look back now and wonder what on Earth I was thinking. I would do anything to take it back as it's not worth losing your family over or the support and love that they are supposed to provide you with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

your not on your own in your feelings towards your cousin, as you are half blood relatives (meaning you have two seperate blood types coming together in your parents) then it is'nt uncommon to find ones cousins sexually attractive. if you both feel that strongly about each other and you really want to make a life with each other then talk to your family about it and if they disaprove then the ball is in your court whether or not to carry on with each other or leave it all together but in the long run if you both just take off without a word to your family it will just hurt them and make them angry, but if you come clean and tell them then there is a chance of them understanding and exepting your love. i hope this has helped good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

yea.. i can relate to this. me and my cousin, it started off innocently enough..role playing (and i don't mean sexual role play either..our rp was more like DnD or like pretending to be an anime char.) anyway.. our chars ended up in love.. and it went from just pretending to actually much further.. we were always risking being caught too. i can remember the first time.. we were going at it on the couch.. it almost went to complete intercourse..but he was humping my leg cause he didn't want to risk getting me pregnant..we didn't have condoms sadly. but while he was doing that, he was also fingering... we were just about at that point and the back door opened. we jumped and scrambled about the living room. we were lucky enough to get our costumes back into place (it happened right after trick or treat...we were teens at the time). boy was i embarrasseed when my uncle walked in. he didn't say anything so i don't think he noticed. but our candy was all over the floor from knocking the bags down.

later on down the road, it went from that to him getting hand jobs while he fingered.. just some wonderful times between us. and i fell in love with him over time. and i know he loved me too. cause one night, we weren't role playing.. we were just watching a movie together downstairs..and he turned and looked at me and told me so. i about fainted right there. but of course we couldn't tell anyone.. no-one in the family understood. though were were almost busted that night making out. my uncle came down to get something from the fridge..he was laying on me. we played it off as if we had been pretending to sword fight and fell over. my uncle just said don't break anything and went back upstairs. after that, he refused to even touch me. i think he was afraid of his dad...

i miss him so much. i'd love for him to find me again and tell me those sweet words..but i know he never will.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010):

I feel that unless you have children it isn't that ginormous of an ordeal. If your family doesn't appreove then yes you are going to have to choose between the two. There is actually a condition called similar genome attraction, I saw a documentary on it on the BBC. Look into it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010):

As a female whose boyfriend of 3 years used to go out with his cousin, I'd say don't go there. It will completely f**k up any future relationships you have.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2009):

well i think u should just say it's wrong and leave

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009):

i think you should really think about it. I too had and still kinda have a huge crush on my cousin. he is a little over 5 years older. so i know it will never happen. but he is like my brother. but just last night i had a dream where we kissed and such. i cant get it out of my head. and i have a boyfriend so that was just a weird dream. so i had to look up what it meant just so i could calm down. so just think about your cousin. do you care about him like you do a boyfriend, or a dear family member. it changes things. and if you choose him your family will get over it. families fight. thats why they are there.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009):

Hey you guys..... I know that being in love with family gives a lot of trouble and stuff, but there's one thing that kinda pisses me off. Y'all know that marrying, if not have relationships with close relatives is very troublesome. It's taboo. And it's taboo, almost EVERYWHERE. So please, shut up about europe marrying/fucking any relative they find, because that isn't true. It isn't even legal anymore to marry first cousins here, so stop it. It's offending. But like..... succes finding a solution to your love problems!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009):

Heres a story for you. I fell in love with my 1st cousin when I was 16 years old. It turned into a sexual relationship, although he stopped it because I was imature and didnt really understand what I was getting into. I married someone else, as did he, and I had three daughters, and he two sons. Yet, all my life, I didnt forget him, although had very little contact for 25 years, there was always a sence of unfinished business. Anyway - at my 40th birthday party, he was there. He brought me a bottle of champers and said - perhaps we can have a drink together. That was it, I was hooked again. I ended up leaving my husband, and endured all the trauma that caused, and he left his wife. We were plagued with guilt, hurt, which was very damaging. I divorced, he did not, and broke my heart by returning to his wife when things became 'too difficult'. I have continued to have 'an affair' with this man for the last 7 years, as I am now 50 years old and powerless to stop. I am open with it, my family all know, On the face of it, I have been let down, betrayed almost, but I suspect my concience expected this, and treats it as some sick punishment for my actions. I am weak, selfish, and pay the price for this every day when he sleeps with me then goes back to his wife. Oh he tells me there is ' no relationship there'and offcourse he loves me. However, the rosy future I visioned in the early days has crumbled. SO my advice - for anyone who could possibly want it is this - DONT DO IT! It leaves a legacy of pain that many have to endure.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

it doesnt matter what your family thinks at all its what you and your cousin want as long as your happy.everyone has a right to be happy,i mean look at it this way its not like its your brother.but if the family dont approve then thats up to them its about YOU knowone else :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009):

If it just sex then it will never last, on the other hand if it's not then it might last, it doesn't matter if it's your cousin, the family might freak, but that's what families do.

you can't help who you fall for, that's what my cousin said to me, what she doesn't know is that I'm in love with her. she lives way down near London and I live way up in the highlands of Scotland.

one of the reasons I moved there was to move further away from her, what she doesn't know can't hurt her, and I get to see the beautiful highlands every day.

I wish I didn't love her,not because we're cousins but because I have nothing to offer her just my heart and my trust, I just don't think she would feel the same way, time will heal my heart I've only met her once, so maybe it will just fade out.

Anyway good luck with what ever you do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009):

hey my name is eric v. im 2 years older than my cousin gf... and im deeply in love with my 1st cousin!!! but wow all of you guys sound like its just for the sex lol...i think that isnt right in my opinion...like i said im in love with my cousin, we been going out for almost 4 years in december 23. well it all started when her mom died she came to u.s.a. with her 2 lil brothers and 1 younger sister and an older sister my age...they moved to california and lived with my auntie because they had no where to go and no money...later as the years passed i reently came to cali from florida to visit my fam for vacation.And thats when i started seing her suffer alot like always crying and depressed soo innocent.:( so i started talking to her alot and taking good care of her and we talked bout everything and at the time we were both goin thru tough shit so we were the only 1s we felt we could talk about our problems and trusted each other...everytime i came i saw her more and more attractive but never either 1 of us showed signs of love we didnt feel that way yet...until 1 christmas in 2005 she went to visit us in florida with some family and stayed for a month and we always talked on the phone or in person and told her i love u and she told me she love me too but not as in a relationship...and in december 27th she started crying we talked bout her mom nd she cryed i huged her tight in my rooms closet and then it happened i was reaching to kiss her in her forhead and cheek because i cared lots about her and she turned around and moved and accidentally kissed in the mouth we were shocked but we didnt care we let it go but the next day we were listening to musi and said i love u to each other and went for the kiss then we started holding hands and talkin flurty and sweet to each other...but it ended when she went back to cali in january but we still talked on the phone and we decided we were going out!!! we were teenagers by the way...and i continued to visit her in cali but the past year i went we finally got caught by the whole family and they all tripped and were all mad angry and furious i hate them they never understood or think they will...our love is strong and in those 4 years never had sex with each other but we are planning as soon as she turn 18 the year thats coming we will run away forever and just call the family for notice that we are ok and thats it...they been on mine and her ass every since they hate that when they see us together but its gonna happen and its meant to be!!!love her soo much she told me she started likin me cuz i was cute and very sweet with al the thing i tell her and when we cuddle she feels safe and i care lots bout her and also said she wants to have a kid just like i do after 2o tho lol...well thats my story family will never accept it but we will staY STrong always and forever

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009):

I did have a sexual encounter with my cousin once. She gave me the BEST blowjob. We told the family the next day, and it was cool. They just said not to do it again. So it worked out. we talk about it all the time in laughing. But i dunno about anybody else.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009):

i am also in love with my cousin but he lives 600 miles away(i live in scotland and he lives in england) i dont know if he loves me back, he is 4yrs my senior and i don think he has ever had a girlfriend. He always teases and we share secret little smiles, it makes my heart skip a beat everytime he does that, i dont know if i should tell him as i only see him twice a year for only a couple of days and i dont want to spoil our relationship.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009):

Australian law says that sex with first cousins or [the children of your mother/father's siblings] is completely legal. Further, half the world marries thier cousins as is the case in aristocratic Europe, China, India and Africa. If it isnt illegal in your state then there's nothing really to worry about your except family's reactions and if your sensible;- what Mum doesnt know won't hurt her.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2009):

I am also in love with my cousin. My problem is I dont wanna be. We have been sexual and stuff and I do feel that there are feelings there unfortunately more from my side than his. He is all experienced and i WAS a virgin. So i think i fell a bit harder because of that. I think of him all the time and would do anything for him... and thats what scares me.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2009):

you should follow your heart and what matters to you more your family or only one person that you like? your family is more than one person.

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A female reader, PixiePie United Kingdom +, writes (31 October 2009):

PixiePie agony aunthey, just wanted to add my own personal experience to this. I've had a closer than regular relationship with my cousin for as long as i can remember. it turns out he has been in love with me for over four years. we always had a sexual kind of relationship, dirty texts was the furthest it ever went though. but he was always there for me, the one i knew i could always turn to, to the point where i took him for granted. it was about a year ago when i was going through a really rough patch with my family, my mum had hold of my phone and i ran away. i fled to my cousins house and it turns out that my mum was there, ready to let his parents know what we had been up to through text. but it didn't stop there, he couldn't keep away and sadly i needed company. it upsetting to me now that i used to treat him like that. when i moved house he used to come and pick me up from college and we'd spend some time in his car together before i went home. i've always known he loved me but it was this year that it started to become blatantly obvious. it was six months ago and my friends told me to watch the film and read the books of the twilight saga. it was then that i realised if i was bella, my cousin was my edward. a few weeks after that we were in his car and without thinking i kissed him. i wasn't sure what i was doing or how i felt about it but i have never regretted it since. i left my bf for him and i have never felt so in love, wanted and cared for. i never knew what devotion to someone truly was before him. we are now engaged and hoping to start a family. the risk to any child has been of concern to us but the chance is small and i want us to be a family. to those who say it will mess up your family they are wrong, yea it causes friction and by no means is our family used to him and i as a couple, but his parents are happy if we are happy and though my mum doesn't like it, she is still there for me wen i need her as she is my mum. i just wanted to say to all those small minded people, that its not just about sex, its not just the thrill of hiding it, it is not wrong, by law or my moral judgement, and we are not harming anyone, either family present or what we are blessed with in the future. he is my soul mate and i would not trade in a day of my life in case it meant i lost him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009):

I have a bf but i also have a cousin who is some years older than me. a few years back I went to see him and my family...I had never met him before...only when I was a baby and I don't remember that. At the time of the visit I was still underage and he was in his early twenties. As soon as I saw him I have to admitt that i was struck by him. I was embarassed being younger by 7 years and underage n above all his cousin. I always stared at him n took photos of him under the pretext of family photos but it was because i liked him. Sometimes atnight when he was in his room i'd get an urge to go and creep under his blanket, just to be close to him. me and my cousin have like 90% things in common.Normally i fall for guys who are hot but i can't say anything much for him except that he has beautiful eyes n is very sportive.

5 months ago i went to visit my family and him again. this time i was overage. Over eighteen. When he arrived and hugged me i felt myself blushing, same time, i felt realy stupid. Through out the meal i would look at him n laugh with him n i couldnt help but notice when his knee touched mine accidentaly. He also looked at me alot and sometimes i had the impression that he would deliberately move his knee an inch closer secretly. One night after going out to a party (none of us were drunk), we decided to sleep at his place coz he sed he didn wanna wake up his parents. i instantaneously agreed. At night it was unavoidable, i inched closer and closer till i was eventually sleeping with my body against his and then with my arm around his chest and then him with his arm around me and then finally we were spooning. The whole while we were 'sleepin' tyna play it off as innocent actions of sleep. The next day evrything was normal except that we were a bit akward since that had put some doubts about what we felt for each other... When i was hme my granny asked me whether i was into my cuz. I sed OF COURSE NOT!!! and then she told me to behave n not do things with him. I dont know how she could have been so lucid about what was soon to happen. The next day my cousin told me that we sould go watch a movie at his place... i snuggled into his arms innocently... always closer and closer. when the movie ended we went to 'sleep' and the whole scene began again... only that this time he was more responsive. we were spooning innocently when i couldnt take it anymore... i started moving deliberately against his body and slid his hand into mine he squeezed it n slid his other hand around my belly and pulled my body close to his...the only attempt i made to stop us was a simple 'u know this is very wrong right' and his response was 'i know but...'...that first night we abstained from actually making love (coz when we did it WAS making love and not HAVING SEX)...needless to say the tensions became stronger and stronger...at the dinner table... with his frinds...in public we were contantly ravaging each other with our eyes...one look was enough...an empty staircase was enough to make him thrust me against the wall and kiss me passionately along my neck n on my lips n more had we no self restraint...you might be thinking that this is purely lust fuelled passion butr thats not even true coz apart from that we enjoy the same things, believe the same things, have the same principles and apart from the fact that hes a complete and utter macho/daredevil...we are exactly the same...we dont believe in closed relationships, we believe in freedom to love more than one person and so much more. sometimes wed just sneak away to his place just to lie in each others arms and laugh about the muck up that wed gotten ourselves into...now we r apart but we still keep in touch once in a while and we might meet up again soon despite the fact that wed told each other that after my stay it would end. hes not my second bf as such but rather a friend, more than a friend who i feel safe and protected and loved by as well as uncontrollably sexually attracted by. I know he feels alot fro me too. we've accepted that no one can ever know about us because we dont want to spoil family relationships and have to deal with the problems of criticism. also i love my bf dearly and though i would nevr cheat on him... my cousin is just different... i dont know if we will continue with our secret love/friendship but either way its our little secret and its so worth havin.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009):

when i was like 17 i had this girl that i was messing with we would kiss alot and i would feel her up and stuff, and on the night she finally decided to let me fuck her we found out that she was my cousin, i think 3rd cousin it felt crazy weird when i heard this but i was still willing and ready to fuck her, she was like 16 and HOT, but she was like wow that sux i guess we have to just be friends now, and i was like yea guess so, but inside i wanted her so bad, that was like ten years ago and since ive married with two kids but i still wish that we never found out

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2009):

all the people that are against it, try putting yourself in this situation. before any of this happened to me i thought that incest was absaloutly disgusting but then i met my cousin after 8 years, and we instantly hit it off. then we got talking properly and we have so much in common, then he came down for a week and we kissed for the first time and it just felt so right, i didnt care about anyone else. no-one else know's about us, and it's going to stay that way, unless we get really serious, then maybe we'll tell our family, if we do i hope they accept it.

just to clarify, to all the god and jesus malarky. you can call me what you like but for the first time in my life, i am happy and i'm in love. so you tell me, is happiness and love a bad thing?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009):

if both of you are enjoying it, then why spoil the fun, just let it continue as it is. From what you say it looks like you guys are doing it for sex. If that is so then keep it simple and just continue and don't involve marriage in it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009):

umm plz tell me if its incest between 1st cousins for it because i need to know because im in love with mine nad i know incetas is illegal everywhere in my cousntry since 2007

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009):

I think if you feel so strongly towards you and you the same then don't stop seeing him even in aisian culture people get married to there auntys son or dourghter and that is very close couson so keep on loving him and don't feel bad

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

i believe that we should all tolerate each other's beliefs and feelings. it's hard enough knowing yourself that what you feel is wrong without people constantly telling you how sick you are.

life is a cruel bitch and i personally feel that we should all be able to experience as much of love and happiness as is possible. i am in love with my cousin. so what?? i used to be VERY anti-incest, but after i recently met up with my cousin who lives on the other side of the world, we both realized that we loved wach other; i knew that we both cared about each in a way that wasn't 'normal' for cousins and i thought a lot about it and it made me question all my beliefs. we are both 'normal', intelligent people who have luckily been granted a chance for love.

and as for worrying about the future; we could all die tomorrow, so make the most of your life now and relish any opportunities for love and happiness that come your way; regardless of anyone else.

by the way; for all the born again christian prats-just tolerate us ok?? i don't give a fuck if the big man in the sky thinks i'm a sinner; because i know that love is not a sin. so tolerate me or fuck off!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2009):

well what i would do is move in with him and whenever the family would stop by you would have to leave and go somewhere else and if the love is true then you should go for it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009):

I had a (secret) relationship with my cousin many years ago when we were in out teens. For 3 years, we fooled around, hung out and even yes had sex. No one ever knew and we never told. About 8 - 9 months after the last time, I had a baby. I will never know for sure who this child's father is because I had another boyfriend at the time who we "assumed" the baby belonged to. Only problem is that as the baby grew up, my child looks like someone else. I dont know if he suspects, but I do and it simply isnt talked about ever.

Since then, we have both moved on with our lives - married, started families. I still have feelings for him, but would never do that to his marriage. I guess the hardest part is wondering about my child. That will get to you eventually, make you very hard on yourself.

If this is what you want to do, just remember that everything has consequences. Is it immoral to sleep with your cousin? Not any more so than any other random guy IMHO. But once it ends however that may be remember that you will see this guy for years to come, so if there is fallout that is something you will have to live with for a long time.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009):

I am 16 and i too like my cousin. He's older than me by like 3 years and since i was 7 i've liked him.Its hard because he lives in Mexico and I live in CA. We've had sex before and he's very flirty, even thought he has a gf =/ We would act like a couple hugging in public and sharing food an drinks and smoking secretly together. He would even jump on my back and make me carry him. He's the sweetest person.So, I just got done visiting Mexico and the last time we had sex was 4 years ago. It was three days before returning to the USA from Mexico and I was curious to know if he still liked me that way so one night when we were in the car driving from a town i leaned on him and "slept" on his shoulder. After a while I began to touch his leg up and down and it didnt seem to bother him. But after that night it felt awkward. When it was time to say bye we hugged an he told me to take care and we gave eachother a few kisses on the cheek because my family was around and to stop smoking..hehe...When I was in the car I could only see him and he smiled at me & I cried. After that visit to Mexico I havent talked to him since. I want to call him, but what do I say/ask? I guess you could say that I'm in love with my cousin beacuse I think about him constantly and lieten to love songs and connect them with him and look at his pictures all day and night..

Do you think he might still like me?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2009):

I slept with my cousin about 3 weeks ago. He is wonderful and i always thought he was attractive. We got drunk and we shared the couch.. then we ended up sleeping together. We now r in some sort of a long distance relationship bc he lives about 2 hours away. I like him so much and hes all i think about. the only problem is he is my cousin! and my family is very close and would totally die if they knew. right now it is on the DL but some day it may not be. I miss him and cant wait to see him again real soon! BTW, did i mention he has a girlfriend? ughhhhh

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009):

hey, I also share the same feeling that others did on the issue of relationships with first cousins. I had a crush with my first cousin since i was a teenager. she was five years my junior. I knew that it is not right for me to do so so i kept my egos under control. now our situation seem to get us so close to each other. She is now nineteen and she now lives with me. we both have a strong liking for each other but we have to keep it secret since we're living among our relatives.We had occasions where we should already have sex, but I have to control my wetness. I thought that If we have to end up in bed then we have to do it respectfully. I told her that I am willing to have her as my bride, should she try her best to improve her weaknesses.

My sister has been a disadvantaged child since childhood and she has ever since, longing for some one to really surrender her trust to. some one whom she can share her hopes, her fears and her dreams with. I have to be very cautious now since our relations is getting deep and my relatives will start suspecting. currently i am in the process of culculating the risks of being together. I am on fulltime job and i am paying for her education, her living and she is with me on the home that I am renting. At first it was my natural hormones that crazies me towards my sister. Now its on my compassion to give her access to a life that has meaning and purpose.my sister has most of the qualities that I am looking for in a woman and she did things for and to me from her heart.

But as I have said, I still have to let time to pass. I will still have to maintain my limits. however if its the lord's will then our love will eventually climax in bed.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009):

Omg I have gotten caught by my babys dad, I was talking on the phone to my cousin telling him how i feel and i know that if we were to ever fall in love its a dangerous zone we both know that. I seriously want to have sex with him and so does he. He's been attracted to me since we were younger hes 5 yrs older than me hes 29 im 24 nothing wrong with that. My bf was like that is gross you thinking about your own cousin that is nasty..i know some people will see this but im going to find a way to see him regardless what my bf tells me. I do love my bf but my cousin i dont know lol its hard to explain and i want to see if we got something there or not. I wanted to let everyone know this and its hard for me bc im so attracted to my cousin but we want to make sure if we have something there or not need some opinions please

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009):

well, where to start... i have liked my cousin since i was about 8 years old. at first i thought it was just a young crush but then everything after we went on holiday together with the family last summer... my brother, me and him stayed in a little house by ourselves while my dad and my step mum stayed in the house next door. me and him stayed up all night talking about anything and everything. after a while we had talked about pretty much everything so we got pretty bored... we started just mucking around but my brother started to realise something wasn't right. he tried to keep me and him apart but it just didn't work. after a while he gave up. on the last week we stayed up all night talking, but then it turned into foreplay. then we arrived home he left and i went back to school. we talk almost everyday. a few months later it became a habit to talk to him. on new years eve he came over to my dads and once again we talked some more.. we then got onto the subject of cousins dating and well.. it all started from there. i went really red, he just smiled. from that moment on we have been going out. we had to keep it from the family, otherwise they would split us up and tell us we could never see each other again. on valentines day he bought me a tiffanys necklace and told me he loved me. he would come over almost every weekend to see me. about a month into our relationship we started getting pretty serious and we had sex. it was all my idea, we didn't plan it, it was just the moment. it was all going so well, the family didn't suspect a thing and i was sooo happy. my birthday was coming up and i wanted to be with him so i asked dad to organise something, which he did. he came over and .. we had sex again. this time he forgot to put the condom in the bin so he stupidly left it on the floor. the next day i went back to school and he went back home. he didn't call me that night so i called him, but he didn't answer. i thought something really bad had happened to him. the next day at school i asked one of my friends if she had spoken to him and she said no. weirdly i saw my parents walk past the window so i sprinted outside and they sat me down and told me they knew i was together with my cousin. at first i had no idea what to say but then they told me i could never see him again i completely flipped out. i still haven't spoken to him and i miss him like hell. he was my everything and i will never love anyone like i loved him again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009):

HI,

I want to know what or why it is that you all are attracted to cousins?

What is it about the situation that makes it so desiring to be with your cousin. I am going to tell a story about how I was a victim of that " it feels so good and I can't stop type of lust".

I was 18 years old at that time, I had never had any sexual encounters before and I was desperate to find a boyfriend. One night I went out with my friends and found myself sleeping with a guy I had only known for a week. I did not really care because I was just trying to have fun and forget about my problems. Well it did not turn out to be that way. The guy Romeo, convinced me that we should keep seeing each other and talking, but to my surprise it was only for the sex. I kept going along with it, as he seemed to be very much "in love with me. I was more and more convinced that he was so much into me. Until strange things started to be more noticeable. At the time there was a my-space account he had and he happened to have this girl that would always write to him and message him and instant message him. I wondered who it was so I checked. The funny thing was that he and her had all the same family members as friends. I started to notice his mom mentioning her name around the dinner table and i thought it was a bit disrespectful because I assumed it was his ex-girlfriend. I did not say anything. Until one night I was sleeping in his dorm and it was about 3 in the morning when he was online chatting on webcam. It was her talking to him and telling him how much she missed him. I pretended to be sleeping, so he came to bed with me hugged me kissed me and slept with me. I knew it could have been nothing. But as time passed it was around our 4th month of being boyfriend and girlfriend I started to notice more messages, more late night calls from her more and more disrespect. She happens to live in the other side of the world from him. And one day I went through his computer while we were on our first vacation and he was talking to her and she could not stop telling him how she wanted him to make love to her. He was 18 and she was 16 years old when they had sex. She was all into him and could not let him go, I was more convinced at this point that this was more than an ex-girlfriend. Upon our return from the vacation, his mother shows me pictures and there she was with him. I looked at him and she told me thats his "cousin" from "paris". I couldn't believe it. I broke up with him. And he insisted that we'd stay together because he loved me and not her. I agreed and as an idiot was convinced. He did not stop talking to her and not only to her but to other girls he was dating while talking to his cousin, while being with me. We eventually moved in together, but it didn't work out. I left him for about 8 months, and he got back with her after not speaking for over a year. I talked to him when I found out he was moving to Paris. I was so hurt, because he had sworn to me he would never go back to her. So I wished him good luck and happiness with her. But then it happened we met up and made up. He realized and so did i that i loved him. After all we both are the same age she is almost 3 years younger than him. I understood why he cheated because he was immature and not even ready to commit. She believed that he was going to move with her, until we sent her an email telling her to leave us alone because we were going to get married. She responded with an angry message saying how she was dead to him, and that he made her think alot of things. He showed me everything he wrote to her while not with me, but I knew he then realized he loved me , things change I changed. Before that girl his cousin, was way prettier than me, now she's fat and ugly, and I turned a model. I look alot like a princess from monaco, while she pretends to be hilary duff. What I am trying to say is that before you all engage into your cousin love think towards your future, because Romeo found love later in his life, and not what he thought, was his true life, only because of those crazy hormones telling him to bone a naive girl. Be careful, because your cousin might cheat on you, because deep down you all know that it is wrong. Respect yourself, as a woman as man, there is a reason why they came as family in your life, and not as strangers. You all don't know who and how much you will hurt people. Today, we are expecting our first child, and he reminds me and promised me that he would never do anything to harm me again. We moved far from his mother who despises me and wanted him for her. But "true" love is more powerful than anything. And we love each other. She was just obsessed with him and could not understand that he was no my soul mate.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009):

well i'm not sleeping with my cousin, but you could say i am in love with him. He's my third cousin and lives in italy. I met him for the first time ever last year, we spent a whole week together and by the end of it were totally inseparable. At first we were both really shy but i knew there was something about him, but just assumed it was only me thinking like that. Over the last days i had with him it started to change, he'd smile at me differently, he'd walk past me and brush me on the arm but in a room full of my relatives but in a way that no one would notice but me.. if that makes sense. My last night there we went out and got home late, we shared a moment where we kissed each other goodnight, it was so different to anything else ive ever experienced. the next day when i left he came in my room to see me, he held me so tight and said that he'd miss me, he kissed me again and from then on i knew i had something with him, something different, the next week i couldnt cope without him... 6 months later i still think about him every day.. we email a bit but at this stage i have no idea what he is thinking anymore

i cant talk to anyone about it as i know its so wrong, but its not helping me to forget him!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2009):

I know how it is and know how hard it is to come to a decision about what to about the situation. Both of my parents had died by the time I was 19 and about 2 years after that, I began to hang out with my 1st cousin who I had ALWAYS been attracted to throughout my younger years. I was 23 when I began to sleep with him and about 24 when I began to fall in love with him. I am now 26 , I am still with him and don't get me wrong I sometimes wonder what the hell I'm doing, but of all the boyfriends I've had and "fiances" he has always been there through thick and thin and always supported me so it's up to you to decide if you want that commitment or not because it's a VERY important decision that you have to commit to when you make that first move cause after that first move you cannot control your feelings no matter if you feel it is wrong. Once you make that move and devote yourself to him it has to be full hearted and nothing less.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

I've had a crush on my cousin since i was 8 years old. we were the best team ever and went fishing and rode in his go cart and went camping in the backyard and did all the stuff that kids do. i was mad at myself for feeling that way, so i didnt let myself think about it. we were real mean to each other though.

then he moved to florida, and came back when i was 13 and he was 21. we got along better then because we were both a little older and all. i think we kind of hinted around a little every now and again, but one day he really laid it on me, but im not sure if meant what i thought he did.

he made our other cousin stay upstairs and me and him went downstairs to get something to eat and we were sitting there watching tv. now, remember, this was after hed been kind of flirting with me a little.

so, randomly, hes just like "whats the most fucked up thought youve ever had?" and i kind of danced around the question and asked him why he asked. he wouldnt tell me why, and then paul came downstairs and i just squashed it and paul started bitching that we left him in that hot ass room.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008):

First of all, I just came from sneaking away to go do very naughty things with a cousin grew up with when I was a kid.

Your feelings of being totally into each other probably comes from the anxious and adrenaline rush feelings that you have because of the hiding... the kisses and the sex were so special because they were coming from someone they shouldn't not because they stood out for EITHER OF YOU.

don't run away.. because once that "us against the world" feeling wears off...your whole family will be mad, your friends will look at you strange, and you would have forever changed the relationship with him... YOURSELF EVEN!...

the sex is forgettable... running away might make you hate yourself.

sorry to sound so... frank.

but it's the truth.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008):

My son and his cousin (my brothers daughter), started a relationship over 2 years ago now. When I first realised what was going on and the implications it would have on the family I was worried and spoke to my son. I said to him at the time, 'I hope this is serious and you arent messing about as I can see trouble within our family'. He is my only son and I knew if I had tried to intervene I may have lost him. My brother does not accept any of it and at first did not want anything to do with his daughter. The rest of my brothers and sisters and their children all went against them and me and my husband. Slowly as we realised that my son and his cousin are serious and in love and planning a future together, some of my family came back into the fold and accepted it. My brother and his wife do not speak to me anymore and some of my sons cousins don't. Im grateful for the family I have got but it has been a difficult time. I support my son and his girlfriend (my neice) because I know they are deeply in love and I wish them all the luck in the world because they are happy regardless of all the obstacles they have overcome.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008):

I'm goin to ignore all the puritan muppets who have written on here dissmissing cousin based relationships, I was re introduced to my 1st cousin (she's 18 and I'm 21) for the first time in 10 years, she stayed with us for a month in the summer, the connection grew very quickly, and she went away for 3 days to stay with freidns, we emailed and txt eachother constantly and as soon as I picked her up we started moving foreward quickly, not going into details after she left the seperation was painfull.

I soon went to visit her,(she lives in France, I in England) and the connection grew even stronger, every time we part she breaks down and I can hardly bear leaving her, this is real, we have been discussing futures together.

I am completely solid in that I would not care what anyone thinks if it means I could be with her, and her parents have been suspicious and asked her if anything is going on, but they aren't angry or upset, though she has denied it so far.

We have kept it secret, the only problem is that she's worried about her family finding out, both our families are good people and there wouldn't be any serious objection (my parents don't know either), we will keep going and things are only getting better, if you really care don't let it go, I won't. Screw anyone who objects as they are narrow minded pricks. Many religions encourage it, England and America it's perfectly legal and in America embraced, and there are no side affects to children from these relationships (1% max chance increase of birth defects) So if it's right go for it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008):

me and my cousin at first just texted each other nothing much. she is 18 and im 15. one day both our familys went camping and we both had our own tents and we everyone fell asleep i went into her tent and we talk. she talked about her bra size and showed me her bra i got a boner she laughed and stared at it. i was so sleepy i told her i was gonna camp out in her tent she said ok and moved to the end of the tent. so i was dozing off and i saw that she was in her sleeping bag with a thong and bra on only. i immeditaly got a big boner it was so big and hard i never had a half naked girl next to me. so i pretended i was asleep and moved my arm on her. she was still awake and turned and looked at me and i was peeking throught my eye lids she thought i was asleep. so i moved my hand to her stomach. she was still looking at me with a smile. she really thoght i was asleep cause she took her bra off. she my hand still on her stomach and my penis still hard her hand by accident touch my penis from the outside and she looked at it. soon she woke me up. and i looked at her she hid her body. she said you got a boner. i said oh yeah im just horny. she said me too. i then jumped on her she was smiling and i took of her thong and pulled out my penis and i was only 15 and she was 18 so i went inside her and she was tight ass hell. it felt good. we finished and we madeout then we fell asleep and the next day. our dads found out we had sex. they were cool with it and didnt tell anyone else. they said since we wernt blood cousins it was somewhat ok. and if it every happended again to use protection. well every week we would have sex with a condom and she would ride my dick. she is now my wife and when something happens it happens for a reason

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2008):

I was 16 when I first flew out to see my cousins for ten days. They literally live on the other side of the planet from me, about an 11 hour difference. When I first laid eyes on my cousin, K, I knew I was in trouble. He was so hot, but also liked to act kind of macho. It didn't take long, but we hit it off immediately. We had so much in common, it felt like we knew each other for a thousand years! We were always making each other laugh and even though we were from two different worlds, we were completely open to them. One night we came back from a wedding and watched "Men In Black" with our family until everyone got sleepy and went to bed. Soon it was only us watching the film in the dark. Ever so slowly, his hand creeped up to mine and by the end of the film we were already kissing and then snuck off to the staircase of his apartment for more.

After I came back, I felt really guilty because not only is he my cousin (well, my third cousin..) but I don't do well in long distance relationships. I pushed him away for our the sake of our feelings and said maybe one day when we're out of high school we can reunite. We lost contact with each other for years... now we're 23 and discovered each other online. He's still there, I'm still here. After chatting for a few months, we finally confessed that still love each other and STILL share this amazing connection and bond. Neither of us are religious or believe in superstitions, but it makes us wonder if there's some kind of cosmic force in the air and if things happen for a reason. The crazy thing is, our moms knew that we liked each other then and they love the idea of us being together. I hope that one day we will live in the same time zone and zip code. It's hard enough as it is.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008):

I was in a similar situation when I was living with some family members. I haven't talked about it with anyone since. I was living with an aunt and uncle. My cousin and I were just cousins at first. We like to talk to each other, we got a long great. Then one night in my room we were hanging out and it just felt right to kiss her, so we kissed, a lot. Then about a month or two later, we decided that we should be together. We got matching tattoos as "wedding rings" and hid all this from her parents. We were together for about a year and a half total. She moved away for her career. I was a few years younger than her, and even though I was as mentally mature as she, I was not as ready to be independent financially. I have now caught up to her level as far as independence. We are not together, and I think about her a lot. I am not sure if I should ever contact her again. Maybe one day, we will light that fire again, but if not then that is okay. I loved her, but things change and life goes on. I don't really have advice but I wanted to say something about this for quite some time and I have finally told someone. I feel relieved in a way. Thanks for reading. And good luck to you!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008):

Sex between cousins?! WTFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!I personally don't agree cuz welp, I want me a spot in heaven. but dang, whatever tickles your pickle shieet. And to the lil fag that fucked his cousin in the ass in front of his 5 yr old sister, muthafucka u need to be pimp slapped. I would beat the shit out of you if I was your mama and send you packin to a psych ward ya damn nasty little fuck. O, Have a nice day...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008):

well here it goes i thought that i was da only one out there with this problem....thank god im not alone. after reading all your stories i feel much safer and destined to cotinue my relationship with the person i loved since iv ever set my eyes on her(3rd cousin) shes so beautiful that i call her peection in the world i rele mean it ders not 1 guy in the world that wudnt try to get wit her ...she loves me so much she said she wud do anything or me and so wud i. my statement is that love is not your choice its your hearts choice and that cant be controlled

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008):

well, I am in the middle of a relationship with my cousin just now. We have been good friends for a couple of years but recently we both became attracted to each other and have started to do sexual things to each other. Its not incest, and perfectly legal where I come from (britain), and I want to be with him forever. He is my soulmate. ^-^

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008):

hey, well im in love with my cousin. he lives in another country but i see once a year. he is 4 years older than me. and since i was 8 and he was 12 we did stuff. at that age we gave each other our little kisses, but now im 15 and hes 19 and this time i went to see him we did everything but have sex. i love him so much that im even moving over there. but the only proble is that im scared to tell our families i know that either way sooner or later theyre going to have to understand and they always suspect something but we deny everything but i told him that one day were going to have to tell them. since the first time i meet him which was when i was 7 going on 8 i liked him & he liked me and now were in love with each other and i know where're young but we even talked about getting married and having kids. every year i see him we do something more. i love him. and hopefully everyting goes good and our families accept us like just a regular married couple.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008):

I was sleeping with my under age cousin for 3 years befor we told any one we got marred and have been for 10 years. She is 10 years my jr. No one ever sad a bad word one.it on differt than any other marrage and no the kids wont be fucked up . we have a 9 year old girl

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008):

(Considering this orginal post is now 4 years old, I'll reply if it helps someone else out there in the same situation).

Have your fun but be very careful not get pregnant. You sound like you are both pretty young. This may mean you are both physically attratacted more than emotionally. You need to keep things on the low and keep it that way for a while and you will begin to see if it's really a relatoinship you are having or just physical fun.

I give this advice coming from first hand experience in your situation. Our fun lasted 8 months. It took us about a month to realized we both just wanted each other in bed and not a relationship. No one else (but her sister) knows about this and everything is cool. Thankfully, we both live in different countries or we both would be going at it again (we both know this cause we've spoken about it).

Good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008):

Hello, i have also met my cousin for the first time a couple of weeks ago when i went to vancouver to visit. Although i never slept with her or anything since im only 15 and she's 13 i know we have something special going on. I stay at another uncles house so everyday that i did not see her i miss her so badly. I'm pretty sure that she likes me too seeing that she acts very different around me. She always wants to find ways to get close to me telling me to piggyback her and say that i am so nice and the best cousin shes ever had. I think she really likes me because she talked to me on msn while i was there and keeps saying that she misses me and telling me to come to her house. When i came back to my city i always think about her and wished i can see her 1 more time. I cant wait for the nest time im going to vancouver.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2008):

Hello, I found out that I had a 1st cousin that I didn't even know about, she was 17 years old and I was 19. From the second I saw her, my eyes nearly fell out, she is soo pretty, and after getting to know her abit, I noticed that I had an amazing connection with her that I hadn't had with any other girl before, it's not just the looks but the personality too, I dont think I could find another girl who I can connect with soo much like I do with her. I dont think of her as a cousin at all because i never grew up with her or knew her side of the family, and was immediately attracted to her. She felt the same way about me and we talked about getting together so we met up a few times and got to know each other. Now, we love each other soo much, but we have been creeping around for about 6 months because we havent decided to tell the family yet. Its going to be very hard. I dont even care about what the family think at the moment because aslong as we love each other we will always be happy! Its not wrong to like your cousin, even if it's your 1st cousin, we cant help who we fall for. Also i would like to add that it has been medically proven that having children with your 1st cousin, has only an extra 1-2% of having a deformed child as what any other non related births are. (2-4% for non related birth) (4-6% having a child with a 1st cousin)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

It's quite simple - except for when it's not. I'm in love with my first cousin (male) and I have done nothing about it. Yes, I'm pretty sure it's love, but I cannot do that to my family, and I confess that I am too afraid of what would happen if I said anything. I don't know if he knows about my feelings or reciprocates, but I think it's best that I don't know.

Sometimes you just have to suck things up - life isn't fair :/

And the funny thing about love - real love - is how little sex has to do with it (not saying I don't get very frustrated sometimes).

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008):

This situation, believe it or not, is not all that uncommon. Some of the most famous people were in cousin marriages. You can marry a cousin and not be in an incestual relationship, since incest is defined as a sexual relationship with a close relation, like a brother or sister. First cousins might fall into that definition, so I personally would shy away from those relationships (better safe than sorry!). Other that that, I don't see the problem. I married a third cousin!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008):

If you really love each other your love is all that matters some will approve and others will not and it will cause a problem but if it is not worth that then the love was not strong enough. Think look into your own self and you will need to trust each other in full then only then will you know that what you have is the real deal and if so nothing is more important than that.

Good luck

Joey

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008):

I'm in the same boat. I'm 24 and my cousin is 18 and we both have intense feelings for each other.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008):

I have always been sexual atracted to my cousin for a while

I would like some advice on how to get her to want sex with me please let me know thanks

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A female reader, blank United States +, writes (21 April 2008):

so i am deeply in love with my cuzin but theres a problem at first i thought it was gona end after a year or so i was 15.so a yr past he went to visit his mexico for 2 months he cheated on me.i forgave him....he cried for me.he said he wanted to be with me.so on december he left i was gona see him in june but i ended up going to his place in christmas and his parents saw a connection so when i came back i thought to myself and from other ppl.

"if he did it once hes gona do it again espcially since ur not gona see him for the next 5 months."i cheated on him.he forgave me...IS THIS RIGHT?CAN WE CONTINUE?

if feel like we could.100%.i love him i believe he is behaving and being faithful to me.no doubt about that.

please help?.

we've been dating for 1yr and 6months.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2008):

Hi!

I feel you completely. I believe that you should do whatever your heart tells you to do so. Even though you say that your family will be angry, they should respect your decision because it is what will make you happy and parents should do whatever it takes to make their children happy. i must also say that it is your life and your future, so you should be the one deciding. I must say that i am in love with my cousin. He isnt my first cousin, hes liek my third or fourth and its not like we grew up together as babies. since then, we cant keep calling eachother. in my situation, his family is dying for us to be together. they are really trying to put us together. we will take it day by day and see how God wants us to be.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008):

I have just been reading some of the about sleeping with your cousin! I met my cousin for the first time in August 2005 we married in Feb 2006 an now have 1 son an a daughter on the way I dont regret it was so ever we are happy & love each other. My family have just excepted it an treat us like any other couple within the family! Families can be more understanding than you expect. x

You cant help who you fall in love with & I dont think I wil ever feel this love with someone else.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008):

Hi There, i am so confused! I recently went to visit my first cousin, haven't seen him in 11 years. As soon as i saw him, i just knew..

I feel so comfortable around him. We cuddled all night the first 2 nights i was there, and the last night we had sex. We didnt mention our feelings for each other, and now im thinking that for him it was just sex. I have a boyfriend and a 3 year old daughter at home. Things havent been right with my relationship for some time. Now I know I have to end things as obviously I dont love him as i cheated on him without a second thought. My cousin lives 400 miles from me, now i feel my heart is breaking, i just want to be with him

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A female reader, the one United States +, writes (2 April 2008):

Well, I read your encounter with your cousin and I had to respond. I have been off and on with my cousin over the years and in the last 5years he moved to my State and we have gotten closer with time. We have been living together for the past 2years and I don't think I would ever find anyone closer than I am with him. He is my bestfriend and I don't see him as my cousin never haved. Our family has adjusted well and we plan not to have any children. We love each other very much and we are very happy together. It is a rare situation but, if both of you can get past all the issues it does work. We were friends first before lovers. He is my soul mate.....FOREVER....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008):

Well, I read your encounter with your cousin and I had to respond. I have been off and on with my cousin over the years and in the last 5years he moved to my State and we have gotten closer with time. We have been living together for the past 2years and I don't think I would ever find anyone closer than I am with him. He is my bestfriend and I don't see him as my cousin never haved. Our family has adjusted well and we plan not to have any children. We love each other very much and we are very happy together. It is a rare situation but, if both of you can get past all the issues it does work. We were friends first before lovers. He is my soul mate.....FOREVER....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008):

im having the same agony my self im 18 my cousin is 17 wev always bin close we started kissing when we wear 14 then we started masterbating and giving one and outher oral sex we first had sex when we wear 16 now we are deepley in love and want to get maried but we are to scared of losing are famalies its killing me but we are talking about runing away together but now i dont care what thay say i love her and she loves me and thats all that maters.best of luck to you

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008):

Yeah I know where you're coming from. I hadn't seen my cousin since he was a baby and when my nan died I saw him at the funeral for the first time. It was so bizzar, I felt such a connection, after talking to him at the wake I found out he was so similar to me.

He lives in another state so I only see him once or twice a year, I saw him 12 month later and he came onto me but I resisted coz it was at the xmas party and other relatives were in the next room, but I told him I was interested, and so happy he felt the same way and want to be with him and kissed him later on.

It feels so weird, he's the first and only guy I've ever felt this way about... but at the same time I don't want to lose the family coz I know they will hate me as I am the older one.

It's ashame, I've only felt this connection with in 2 other relationships (with girls) and I don't wanna lose it, every other relationship I have I feel nothing about them, no matter how long I date them. :-(

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008):

Sine you love him, stay with him. And day by day tell your family about your lover.

and the strong relationship. by days your family will notice that, and agree.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008):

I agree with the women here who say that as long as you both feel like you love each other and want to have sex with each other, then go for it and pursue a relationship with each other.

If any other women here have had sexual experiences or desires involving a male cousin or other male relative, please share your experiences here.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008):

Follow your hearts and be happy, and remember it is not incest, it is perfectly legal and you are doing nothing wrong.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

I am currently in the same situation as well. I love my cousin so much, but we never had sex. I also have a problem because I know that our family will be against us and we're Christians so we really have a strong relationship with the Lord, but we just love each other. We couldn't help it like in times that we just wanna be alone inside his room, but we don't do anything bad; we just talk and flirt most of the time. But his parents are having problems with me staying inside his room. We don't really care because we still do it. I think stopping us to be together kinda makes us to be together more often and most of the time we hide our dates: watching movies, eating out, and such and such... We still hang out inside his room; Haha it always turns me on when he asks me what color of panties I'm wearing, he always tickles me, hugs me, and he keeps on unhooking my bra. But we never sleep together. So we always have the thirst for each other.

I am also very honest to him. I tell him everything/all of my secrets. And I am not scared that he might tell on me, because I really trust him with all my heart. Oh my god! I love him like crazy!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008):

In 2006, i went to my uncle's funeral in south africa and there was this handsome guy who was smiling and flirting with me since i got there... he asked me my name and all that staff and after sometime my uncle (his dad)was so pleased that we still good cousins even though we last saw each other when i was only 6. I didnt remember him as a cousin, and i couldnt imagine him as one because there was something in us more than just that. I then learned that we had same surnames and we are first cousins. it's been two years now and just the sound of his voice completes my every day...

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A male reader, PaulNY United States +, writes (25 January 2008):

PaulNY agony auntWell Actually the bible says nothing about being with a cousin as bad. Its bad when you're with a brother or sister. Anyways I am in severe agony actually, I have a cousin I been in love with all my life. I'm 22 shes 20 we're both scorpios and we were younger we were very close shes always came to me for everything. We always kissed when we were young secretly and i had to move away out of state, for years we didn't speak. Then when i reached about 17 i saw her again and we were instantly attracted to each other again. Not long after that we ended up making out a few times. Then we ended up not speaking to each other again for about a year. I've seen her with different boyfriends over the years and shes turned into a very hateful person in general. We are still close but the fact that shes been with people i've respected it and not been trying to make a pass at her. I know its there still and we've talked about it but shes afraid of what people would think, where as i don't. I'm in so much pain but i tell her i'll wait till the end for her because thats how deep my love is for her. Nowadays i do everything in my power for her and she truly appreciates it and the feeling is there because we still flirt and touch sometimes. I just feel like this will end up being my demise, my destruction, my un-doing.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008):

What!? Dont do that s***. Good looking or beer goggles, ALL FAMILY IS OFF LIMITS. It's not like I don't understand. My cousins are gorgeous, but if they come within 5 feet of me for more than a hug a fight is bound to ensue. If you do this, YES you will loose your family. It's a family breaker. There are just to many people in the world for you to end up with your own cousin. This is a no. Do not continue this relationship because it will, no matter how good it FEELS, destroy you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008):

well, I would say go for it!!! if there is love, there is nothing wrong...I've been in love with my cousin pretty much all my life...I am 21, he is 22, and although he is my 3rd cousin, we were raised as first...we used to play "house", I was the mommy he was the daddy and we were really happy...until I guess he hit puberty and I was too much of a little kid for him, our relationship started wearing off and I stop seeing him....years passed and I moved to the states...totally "forgot" about him and starting dating...After 7 years I went back to my country and for some reason I was anxious to see him...to my surprise he was excited to see me as well and we spend all night dancing and talking....it was just amazing...when we saw each other again it was just weird because we tried to get closer to each other but we didn't know how...He started to kiss me all over my face (except my lips)...and didn't stop hugging me all night...he even got mad when I started flirting with other guy close to our table....maybe it was just mere attraction, but there was something, the kind of feeling that you don't have to say out loud because it is obvious....I came back to the states and now I can't stop thinking about him...

in your case however, you know he love you and you love him...so don't waste no time and go for it...ur family will get upset first ...but eventually the will come around...!!good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008):

Hi I just wanted to reply to your question,as I am going through the same thing as you are.

Me and my cousin grew up in different countries.We met up over the internet and i went to stay with him for a while.Its a long story so i will just say that we ended up getting together.We wanted to be with each other but found it hard to tell our famlies that we loved each other.

In the end we found somewhere to live and we just moved in. We didn't tell any one where we were or that we were going.When they found out both my parents disowned me.Then my cousin decided that although he wanted to be with me the pressure of the family got to much for him and he moved back to his country.

I felt very alone as I had given up every one I loved to be with him.I was very lucky as when my parents found out they started talking to me again.Then me and my cousin got back together which my parents were not happy about as they saw it as wrong.Although they are not happy about what i am doing they are still there for me and they are coming round to the idea although i know they will never be truly happy with it.

My advice to you is don't just run off with him be honest with your family as lying to them will only make things worse for both of you.if you love him and your sure you want to be with him then do what you have to because your living your life and no one can tell you how you should.Things will be hard for you for a while but if you are both strong you can get through it together.

I hope that this has helped you and what ever you do I wish you luck.Just another bit of advice,there are people out there that will try and drag you down over your choices but in the end people get used to the idea and they forget that you were even cousins in the first place.You both have to be strong because it is not easy.But I would still have done it because we are soul mates and make each other very happy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007):

I'm in love with my cousin too and he is 22 and I am 18. he is hansom and sweet and we hung out alot when we were younger then one day he decided to kiss me under a misletoe and i kissed him back.

After that, we talked bout how much we've liked each other and we decided to stay together. Nothing is awkward between us right now either; we've had sex and he wants to get married. I've told him to wait untill I'm out of college. I don't belive marrying your cousin is at all bad.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007):

Sleeping with your cousin is not incest. For those who think that, they need to look around, and learn the fact before they just talk. Most people who say this, have never felt an attraction towards a cousin, so its like asking someone if they would sleep with their brother or sister. Which IS incest. To answer your question though, I would just have to question whether or not you really WANT a relationship with your cousin. If you do, there is no other way but to come clean, and let everyone know. Love shouldn't be a secret, so go for it. Whats the worst that could happen. It might be hard, but love can overcome anything. You should noooooot deny your feelings. Thats why we have feelings to begin with. It is ok, and LEGAL to act on them..for the most part. Use good judgement, and you shall be fine. I wish you all the best. Enjoy this relationship with your cousin...you will have it for the rest of your life...you mine as well enjoy it to the fullest!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007):

i know what your are going through, i have met my cousin and after a couple times seeing her i realized i am extremely attracted to her she is so fun to be with and i want to see her more and more, i have not told her about my attraction to her but want to and i am scared, i think you and your cousin should sit down somewhere private and discuss your feelings and the pros and cons with each other then maybe come to a decision, if you still feel in love then go get married, who cares what the restrictions are

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007):

This happened some years ago. My first cousin (female) was 25 and divorced at the time. I was 30 (male) and also divorced. We had always been close since kids but never did anything sexual. Let's just say we decided to get a bit closer later in life. We took a cruise together. As far as anyone aboard ship knew, we were man and wife. We engaged in a lot of sexual activitiy during that cruise. It was something we had always wanted and we did it. As far as we were both concerned, it was consentual sex between two adults and no one's business but our own. There was never any guilt felt by either of us. It was just one of life's nice little experiences. However, we obviously kept it to oursleves. If that had ever gotten out, it could have been an ugly scene within the family. We are now both married again and we keep in touch. Since both of us are now married, doing that again is out of the question.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2007):

If you love him and he loves you, the both of you should stand up for who you are. If you stick to what you feel and believe your family will come around and eventually support you. I was in the same situation. I made the decision that I loved her and I was not going to be miserable loosing her. So I stood up for what I wanted. My family has come around and is very supportive of us. There minds changed when they saw how happy and perfect we are together.

Good luck,

in the end do what makes YOU happy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007):

My stories starts here, i had gone for 2 1/2 months to eritrea (east africa) i met a distant relative of mine at first we started hanging out cause i was raised in the states cause i didnt know the city that well. When i fist met him i didnt even know we were related. Initially i was only around him cause i didnt really know that many people and my mom would only let me go out, if i was with him. From the moment i met him i was attracted to him and i did have lustful thought but i didnt love him.After spending pretty much everyday with him things started to change.I realized i was devoloping feelings for him and i told him one night when him and his friends and i went out to the clubs i confessed i did it then purposely cause i knew that if had confessed when i was drunk if he rejected me i couldve just made the booze the excuse.I was suprised to find out though we shared the same feelings weve had sex but its not about that hes really amazing i love him because of who he is. I dont agree with cousins being together i wish we werent related.But at the same time hes amazing hes the kind of person i can see myself marrying we want the same things and hes so wonerful i barely know him and i have a pattern of falling in lust and confusing it for love within a short period of time. But hes so different from all the other guys ive dated and for some reason i really trust him hes just an incredible man hes just beautiful inside and out. He's my 5th cousin i didnt even know who he was.We met and we just clicked but i never wouldve thought that it would be like this. I just got back yesterday from my vacation and i miss him so much. But to all of you i will say this if your inlove with your first cousin you gotta know thats wrong your first cousin thats like your brother or sister. Especially if were raised around eachother.ITs a tuff situation i really wanna see where it goes but at the same time i know this isnt right and i dont want to hurt our families.But at the same i just love him.what should i do

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A male reader, int5 United States +, writes (9 November 2007):

Theres nothing wrong with "Keepin' it in the family" im totally for that. If you truly feel he is the one or you love him truly then go for it,yes it may be difficult with family but if you live your life based on what others would say or do then youll never have a life,best of luck.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2007):

hey there's nothing wrong with loving your cousin. i say go for it because it's the best love in the world. good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2007):

hello me and my cousin have kissed and help body parts snce we were in 5th grade we snuck it of corse but now i feel like having sex with her but stay with family hes your cousic but it depends how close you r 2 him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007):

It's crazy what life throws us. I am also in love w/ my cousin. I was willing to loose my family for him. I got pregnant and he cheated on me and got her pregnant too. It really hurts, but I got my lil' baby to live for. He says he don't want to be with me cuz "we can't" cuz we're 1st cuz=n's. But he wasn't saying that when he was sleeping w/ me. So sometimes it ain't worth it. No matter how much love you got for him. Now my baby has to grow up w/ out a father.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007):

i dearly love my 2nd cousin i met her for the first time an she is 16 soon so then we can be together i dont care what happens just as long as i can be with her i love my family and she loves her but i love her i cant help it anyone who sees it as wrong can't have been in love because it seems impossible to ignore it i honestly love her

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007):

I know what you are going thru, though in the end my cousin and I did not pursue a relationship together. He and I both came from military families, so we rarely saw each other growing up, maybe once every couple of years. We had seen each other when he was 6 and I was 9 (and I actually had a crush on his brother!) and then not again for 8 years. I was in college then and going thru a very rough teenager drama time period with boys. My grandfather passed away and we were all going to his funeral. We lived states away and I was so looking forward to getting away and leaving all the drama behind for awhile (though I really wish it could have been under different circumstances, my grandfather was an AMAZING person). I went to the airport with some other cousins to pick up the last group of them coming in from another state states away and was nervous about seeing them because it had been so long and we hadnt' seen each other since we had all been kids and all of us cousins had never all been together at the same time, and we were all just hoping to get along. I literally hugged my aunt looked at the other two boys and smiled and then stopped breathing as I looked at the youngest boy, three years my junior and truly one of the most stunning specimens of the male species. I had never experienced "love at first sight" until that moment. And come to find out he went thru the exact same experience upon seeing me. We were almost nervous and giggly talking to each other at first, and I know we were young and foolish and it was awesome. We spent every moment together for the next three days. The first night all of the cousins stayed up all night talking, but he and I were in a different room. We did nothing, no kissing, nothing on that trip, but that started it all. We kept a long distance relationship for a year until we got to see each other again. We fooled around that time, and the last day we had together, we did have intercourse, and it was great (though the sex I have with my husband now is 10,000 times better!!). However, after that it got harder to do the long distance thing and it all kind of fell apart. The next year we saw each other again and all the feelings were there, and we made out a few times, but knew it wasn't gonna go anywhere. We've both had plenty of boyfriends and girlfriends, and even been jealous, but we made our choice and it was right for us. At least for me. The second to last time I saw him was 5 years ago and I was married and I know it hurt him, but we got thru it, and are really great friends now. My hubby knows everything, but he's the only one I ever told. I think he was suprised, but never judged me, and finally got to meet the cousin in question about a year and a half ago. It wasn't even weird. I know our family would have never accepted it, and his mom definitely knew that he was in love with me, but never realized how much I returned those feelings. In our young dumb minds we made all sorts of plans to move away from our families and sever all ties if that's what it was gonna take to be together, but like I said, within two years it was over. It was a young love, but it really was love all the same. There is still a place that he resides in my heart and I'll continue to love and care for him more than I ever really should!! My advice to you is that if you truly think that he could be your one, just take it slow. If ya'll are meant to be together than it won't matter how long it takes for you to tell your family and figure everything out.

As for those of you who have successful relationships with your cousins, more power to you. It's great to know that we are not alone.

And for those of you who just want to judge, wait until something that "shouldn't" happen happens to you. For me it was definitely finding love in the least expected of places, which is a beautiful thing. I only hope you get to experience something so wonderful in your lifetime!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007):

hey, am really confused to but i guess by reading all your stories i need to share mine too. i've been in love with my cousin for 4 years now, she was 16 and i was 17 when we met. We just clicked,we haven't had sex yet but we flirt a lot and sometimes it's erotic. i know she loves me she's told me how much and how she can't bear loosing me. Am just wondering if this is wrong coz i know my feelings for her can't be claimed by anybody else

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007):

I had Anal and Oral Intercourse with my cousin at age 14 and now shes pregnant it's hard I still love her and were happy though our parents are'nt it's not what they want it's what you want and if they dont like it they dont love you they have to accept it even though it might be disgusting

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007):

I had Anal and Oral Intercourse with my cousin at age 14 and now shes pregnant it's hard I still love her and were happy though our parents aren't it's not what they want it's what you want and if they dont like it they don't love you they have to accept it even though it might be disgusting

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007):

It's seem my situation is the worst because I do love my counsin 10 years younger than me. I've tried to stop that feeling but I can't. I was trapped in the past and thought about the times we spent together. Nobody knows about our relationship except my two closed friends. They told me to stop it. I can't stop it and I can't move on either. So painful! And I am in an asian culture. We have a strong idea about this stuff.

Anyway I feel better to find the site. At least I am not a sick person. I always blame myself.

Hope some day I will get through it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007):

I just get by and read all your stories. I also have this weird feeling about my cousin.He is the son of my real aunt. I have bf and he has gf already. But we both are not very happy with our partners. When i am near him i feel very comfortable. Talking to him makes me happy. He also treats me special. My bf loves me very much but we argue a lot and i am so tired of talking to him. I know I should not like my cousin. I dont want to do anything further because there is no future for us but i can't get over this feeling. Do I have to feel pain to know that i am alive???

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007):

GO FOR IT... me and my cousin have been goin out for a while and its unbelievable.. he was 19 and i was 17 at the tyme.. i visited my aunt and uncle in the next state for the 1st tyme in ages and stayed for 2wks we clicked pretty much ryte away and by the second week we were shaggin and all... we both didnt agree with incest stuff but there was such a connection... now being like almost 9 mnths later.. we do plan on spendin the rest of our lives 2gether family approval or not, and now weve told our gorgeous nanna everythin includin dirty details and his family found text messages from me on his comp so yea... my advise would be go with it if you both are serious bout eachother and dont care wat others think bcoz if it makes u both happy, wat else matters?? Just keep it low for a while to sort shit out wiv eachother and find out watz goin on first!

we plan on havin a kid in about 5yrz bcoz there is just a slim percentage of it bein retarded like 1 percent more than anyone else. weve checked it out .. and if it duz turn out that we wud be havn a retard... we will adopt. luckily for us our family is pretty laid back and his mum really likes me. At the moment were livin in my mums house wiv her fiance and they have almost caught us a few tymes, and come home wen we were in the shower together, but we bullcrapped our way through and so all they got is suspicious minds.

laydahz!!

* nothin wrong with keepin it in the family* ;P

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007):

Im my opinion you are doing nothing wrong, however small minded people do exist (even within a family unit) You do find love in the strangest places, and just because he is your cousin does not mean that you cannot love him, marry him or have his babies.

I am in a relationship with my 3rd cousin and I have never been happier, the amount of Chemistry we have is just through the roof, we have the same dreams and ambitions, at the end of the day we are only human, FACE YOUR FEARS AND LIVE YOUR DREAMS.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2007):

I hooked up with my cousin when I was 18. I always had a crush on her. We kept a long distance relationship up for awhile, but soon I got freaked and just stopped answering her calls. I went on, dated, fell in love with someone else, even got engaged but it broke off. 13 years later, I met up with her again. I knew I'd be happy to see her, but I didn't imagine that such a fire would be lit...

Anyway, we don't really choose who we love. Like gay people, do you think if they could choose, they would choose societal scorn and ostracism? I didn't choose to fall in love with her, if I had a choice, it wouldn't be something so taboo. But if I really loved her, love conquers all and I would proceed at all costs.

And that's what I'm going to do. In terms of my family, eventually, when they see how much we love each other and how I will treat her, they will accept it. But I understand that once I make this announcement, the bridge behind me is burned down.

I would advise anyone in this situation to really analyze how strong your committment is, if your commitment wavers, break it off and do not contact, like I did 13 years ago. Evidently, the love is true, and if that is what you decide, go for it. It's about your happiness and that of your loved one, not about what other people think.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007):

i went on a trip to newyork to see my girlfriend and i fell in love with my third cousin.i stayed with her for three days and we had amazing sex.it was love at first sight.we are planning to get married next year.she told her mum and she was fine with it but my mum had a mixed reaction.i really love my cousin because i feel she is the one.i am 27 and she is 25.i am back in london now.i really do miss her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007):

I'm in a stupid situation, I love her so much but im afraid if I tell her and she doesnt feel the same then she will look at me like im a freak or something and I think some family can tell, her mom always looks at me.. into my eyes trying to read me when im next to her. well actually her mom is my cousin she's a generation below me but only one year younger, big family.. My brother overheard her mom talking about her to someone and she was saying that she acts weird like that when she's around someone she likes, but how do I know who she acts weird around? I'd have to ask cause I cant tell how she acts around me compared to others because... I'm not around her when I'm not.. that was a long time ago anyway even if she liked me at all she probably doesnt now... 8 years now i felt this way since i was 12, well it is different, back then I just liked her alot but now my heart feels like its actually gona jump outta my chest its pounding so hard when I see her

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007):

Well guess what i went over seas to chile not long ago and met my older, good looking cousin for the second time ever and… well it was like love at first sight "believe me it exists”! up until I felt that emotion with him I was always against

Cousins being together…but it is actually very common all over the world!

I’m not sure about the rumors that cousins can have disabled kids. All I no is that I’m completely inlove with my cousin but we still havnt said any thing for the same reason as you! His coming down to Australia to live here soon and we only plan to say something if we feel like spending the rest of lives together!

I really don’t think you should say any thing if u no ur family will disapprove because it wont be worth it in the long run if it doesn’t work out. Think of your families reputation if every one no’s and it dosnt work out!…but don’t get me wrong if u get married to him then it wont look bad…this is just my opinion and I defently wouldn’t put my family thro it unless I no deep down 99% im gona marry him! Its hard it sucks but you should defently travel with him then no one has to no u are even cousins, I might do that aswell!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2007):

OMG! i know what you mean. im in the same situation with my cousin. i guess all i can say, is don't let your family know if you think theyre gonna take it the wrong way [which im gonna assume they are] and do what you want! you only live once!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007):

i'm glad not the only one! i love my cousin! we fuck 5 time. am 13

she 12

i love her but how do we tell our family. we all was play it off like we don't roll like that! we know how we feel about us. we'll wait when everyone is sleep to do it . one time i fuck her in front of my 5 year old sister. i told her to come her to an pull down her pants and told her to sit on my dick, so i fuck her in the butt. when we get older we decided to get marryed and, have to kids!

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A female reader, lanena United States +, writes (30 March 2007):

I'm only human. After not seeing my first cousin for 20 years, I was surprised to see how he had grown when he flew in for my dad's funeral. We spent 5 wonderful days together and I was sad to see him go. I just thought I had grown attached because he was there for me at a vulnerable time (I had lost my dad). We kept in touch and a few weeks later, we hung out at his brother's wedding. We're both attached but not married. At one point, we snuck off and talked about out brewing connection. We feel AWFUL but the time we spend feels so great its hard to stop. We haven't had intercourse because it just wasnt right but there is not one day that I dont think about it. Again, it seems wrong but it FEELS amazing to have such a connection. I think it's because he is familiar to me (although I had not seen him in 20 years)..It's too soon to tell Love or infatuation and I have the most amazing family, I would never want to hurt them. I've met tons of men, most of them act like boys and doesn't figure I fall for my favorite aunt's son? From what i've read..most of them don't work out and some of them will never know..I just might have to take that chance because I don't want to ever ask myself: what if?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007):

I also have a story about me and my cousin hooking up when we were drunk. Yeah I know but I regret ever doing it because he really is like a drug. ever since he told me he loved me I had thees deep feelings for him, I no we aren't desperate, I don't mean to brag but we both have a great selection to choose from. But ever since I've Been with him nobody comes close to him.I am preagnant from him ,again, but the first one died from a miscarriage which made me think it was a sign from God that something wasn't right. But here i AM AGAIN. aND NOBODY HAS found out about us.I do have my family in mind and heart, butit's one of those things I regret with all my life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2007):

I'm glad I am not the only one. my affair with my first cousin has been going on for a year 2months. I really do love him. but it's wierd cuz we never had that awkwardness. we are 2 years apart though. We have kept it secret though we do slip ALOT. Many suspect but we play it off. I really do not have any good advice but i could use some because I haven't been able to talk to anyone.Oh and he also has talked about leaving. I would but It is so hard to just leave.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007):

I was adopted as a baby and have recently met my birth family. I was instantly attracted to my cousin, we hit it off straight away, and now im in love with him and cant believe how strong the feelings are. I would never do anything about it but I have thought about it. thank you for sharing your stories, its comforting to know i'm not alone

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007):

Well my story is long so i will make it short. I allways wenth to my cousin house to play. I spend like that years until some time later I started to fill love for her but not as family but as somethink else. Some times I know shes watching me and I watch her. I allways treat her good make her laught and stuff. I think that here parents and my parents know about it but no one says anythink. It very dificult because theres and age gap of 8 years. So yeah i think they knew because I couldnt go to here house like for a year to visit here. Every one in the family i think they know but i dunno. I started to visit here again so i will hope for the best to see what happens.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007):

Hi after reading all the comments i had to write something, im in the same situation and i thought i was completely alone so somehow reading this makes me feel a bit better and feel that i am not sick..

i've been sleeping with my cousin for 2 years and we've been living together for 1 year, although no one knows that we are sleeping together our familys just think we get on really well with each other and are flatmates.

when we first started sleeping together we both said it could go no further and we wouldnt be telling our familys half way through our relationship as i fell for him more i really wanted 2 tell our familys, but he said No this has turned out to be the best decision because over the past month or so my feelings have changed once again and i know that i am not in love with him, whatever i felt for him has been really strong but its not Love, I am so glad we didnt tell our familys because it would have caused nothing but problems, for something i thought was Love but turned out to be Lust.

I still enjoy sleeping with him but cant see it lasting very much longer, to anyone who is thinking of telling there familys please wait and think about it for a while because if you really do love each other a few more weeks/months wont change anything.

good luck to you all

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007):

listen, i know EXACTLY how you feel. i love my cousin. we've always taken care of each other, and one day he told me he loved me. we realized we had to tell our family, which by the way, is huge, and they where ALL disgusted. so as soon as we both turned 18, we moved away, got married, and now we have a beautiful baby girl. so do what you think is right, and remember: if it was meant to be, then nothing can stop you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007):

Ok... let me start with an observation. Isn't it interesting that so many of you begin telling us about a "love affair" that started when you were both drunk. Not love people, lust. There is something wrong here. Just as all stereotypes emit from something that is real and then overblown, so is sexual relations with your cousin. Judging from the scores of typos in most all your posting, none of you are all that bright, and I'd love to take a poll from what areas you are from... I am sure I can guess. How despirate must you be to have to resort to sleeping with your won cousin. Interesting too, to observe that so many of these "relationships" begin at such a young age.... that too is telling. Wake up... it's just plain wrong... unless you are in an African village of 20 people or a British Royal from the 1500's look around and find some one who is not an aunt's or uncle's kid...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007):

i am in a situation very similar to you babe. except my cousin is 25 and i am fairly younger than him, we first had sex and loved every momnet. he stayed with me for 2 weeks putting his plans on hold for me. and now we feel very strong for each other. he also wants me to go away up north with him but i dont want to. i think you should do wat we did. fuck wat everyone thinks, if your happy than do wat ever you can to make it work. good luck! xoxox

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007):

hi, this christmas my cousin cameover from spain and we went out one night and had a lot of fun. i saw her in a new light but was determined not to act as she was my cousin. when we got back home, we were talking and it was great so we laid in bed together. and then she told me that she liked me. i already liked her, and we were all over each other. for the next week, every chance we got we would sleep together. we didnt actually sleep for 2 nights in a row the sex was that great. now shes gone back to spain andi miss her terribly.

i think that realistically we have no future, although i would dearly love to be wrong. the fact that it is so taboo, makes it more exciting. ive slept with a lot of girls, but she was AMAZING.

im sure this sounds familiar to you. i think you should drop a few hints to your family n see what kind of reaction you get. if you see your cousin on a regular basis, im soooooooooooooo envious. i cant and i miss her like air!

sam 24 leicestershire

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006):

Well the right thing to do is tell your parents that's what I did.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006):

I have a similar situation, I have been reunited with my first cousin who lives in a different country to me,on the few times i visited her as children , we were always very close and shared a strong connection , unlike a lot of these posts my infatuation is not sexual, I just love bieng with her and now feel remorse that she has returned home. I want her to visit again soon , but she is married and has children ,and I feel guilt for wanting to be with her so much ,I had many relationships but I have never felt such intense feelings for another.I feel very confused!!I would never tell her how I feel.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006):

I have been in a relationship with my first cousin for 3 month's, we are now living together which some people would say was to soon! but when you know how you really feel about someone nothing is ever to soon. My feelings started about 10 years ago. We were at a family party and i just noticed how attractive he was. I did'nt do anything or say anything because i thought it was wrong to feel this way. After all this time i had to do something so after a night out with family he came back to mine and i kissed him. I expected him to be shocked but he kissed me back, we talked and he told me that he had feelings for me. We talked about how the family would react and we were scared but we knew how we felt. The family found out and of course they where upset but they have said that they still love us, some of them cannot except us being together but none of them have turned their backs on us. What ever you decide to do is entirly up to you, no one else can make that decision for you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2006):

I thought having a relationship with a cousin was wrong, until I met my own first cousin in Europe. I have been in love with him for over 16 years and just found out he felt the same. Unfortuately we are both married with kids. Bur my yearning for him is unbearable. When we were together we kissed and it was so passionate. I dream of making love to him and i will if i ever see him again. Life is very mysterious and I believe Love comes from GOD. So how can it be wrong.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006):

Hi there,

I slept with my cousin for the first time at the weekend (we were both very very very drunk) at would never have done it if we hadnt been under the influence of alcohol. Is this sick considering im 19 and he's 21. We both had a little crush when we were younger like 14 year olds i think but then when i split up with my boyfriend who i had been with since i was 17 at the start of May i saw a lot more of my cousin as he only lives down the road and we've always got along so well, have same sense of humour, hang out with same ppl sometimes and i started to feel like i was in love with him. but i think the best thing to do is leave it.

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A female reader, live your life to the fullest  +, writes (20 October 2006):

hi, i have read all the comments on this site and i feel for the ones who dont know how thier cousins feel for them. my advice is to never know. what you dont know will never hurt you, and if your cousin doenst feel the same way for you then thats even better. dont hurt you, dont cry dont worry. live life to its fullest. if he doenst feel the same for you. remenber this, life still goes on and so must you. i just find out that my cousin doesnt fell the same for me, but because i love "me" more, i will take every step and and look ahead because theirs is just so much to live for.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2006):

Eh, I'v got little experience in this, but I can tell you, like many will, that love is love, no matter what. What sickens me, is people who think it's wrong to love family sexually. Sure, it's kinda, odd, but I won't say so much as it's not right. Hell, if I had a cousin I fell in love with I'd have no problems forsaking my family, personally. I'm also completely different from my family, but enough of that. Don't let people who don't understand bother you, and I might not understand completely, but I have friends in the same position, just, do what you think is right.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2006):

I have a similar problem, but we are on opposite coasts, and we both have separate lives. My cousin came to visit very recently and we have always had a shared secret of passion for each other. We ended up making love twice and it was one of the most amazing experiences of both our lives. We both believe we are soulmates, and we will always be able to love and be in love with each other, but it really is socially, and familially unacceptable, especially the first cousin. I am two years older than mine, and I never imagined anything like this would happen with us, but it really came very naturally, and wasn't done in an intoxicated state, which made it even more meaningful. You can't help who you fall in love with. The way this works for us, is that we won't see each other for a while, and neither one of us can leave our lives and run off together. But I know that I will always have someone who wants me as much as I want them, indefinitely. It's also nice to have that with just one other person, because it is "forbidden". Just be honest and true to your heart. Don't let what other people say hurt you. If you are happy, then go with it, don't let the opportunity to have a great life slip by. It isn't wrong when you truly love a person, and it isn't like it is a brother or sister. Shit happens. Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2006):

please come and visit our website for free secure and confiential advice and support...

www.kissingcousins.eu.kz

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2006):

Hello

Considering that you love each other, its ok

just remember that it should be love that bond the 2 of you and not just the SEX.

You can open it to your family once your ready.

Take care of each other

Friend

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006):

im the anon female reader frm 10feb, still in love, now engaged with my soul mate cousin, but yes occasionally i think eek how the heck will we tell people?? family wise, my mother would be the worst to react i expect, i think she'd think more about any children we could have, if we hav any, his parents basically know!gosh, if anyones done this, please write!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2006):

there will be of course that initial thrill with any new sexual partner and i think that it is important to recognize that having sex with someone "forbidden" increases that excitement BUT continue with this relationship and you will end up very confused.

I would caution you to end this for you know that this relationship will not be accepted by your family or society.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2006):

reading all of the answers just now has realy made my mind up that im going to try and make sumthing of the sort-of relationship that i hav with my cousin we hav quite an age gap but that dosn't seem to bother us, i was 18 when i first kissed my couain properly and we had such a grate night just kissing and talking till the early hours of the morning that night and the next day was the best of my life. we r purfect 4 eachother we both love eachother to bits and i love her kids as if they where mine, then out of the blue she had second thorts about it all and we sum how fell apart from each other 4 just ova a year it was so hard 4 me to take and i never once stoped thinking of her, then just the other day i saw her walking her dog it was as if the past year had never happend and right now we r trying to sort things out. i used to b like all these ppl saying that its wrong to even think of your cousin in that way but since being there and feeling the overwelming love i hav 4 her i will never b so narrow minded again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2006):

i have just reread your letter i think you do think a lot of him and you are young if he is the one go for it but remember what about future boyfriends they might be like me and i am very open minded but i would not want my family to know about my husbands former life and it eats away at me i keep thinking he must have thought a lot about her to do it and risk his family ties i fill i am married to a bit of a wield o although i love him so much it still in my head all the time about him and her he will not talk about it just says its in the past i am a young 52 year old he is 63 but quite young in heart just think about it first a futere husband might not like it i might have the hump because i did not find out till after we married he told me every thing else but miss out about 8 or 9 maybe more out of it which was strange also his sister and friends knew and went away on trips with them which also upsets me i am not a jeaslous person so i don t like feeling like this

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2006):

i have found out after only two years of marriage my husband was sleeping with his cousin for years he must have not wanted me to know i feel sick everry time i think of it

it was long before we got together but it still makes me feel sick they were in their late fiftys she look like she was seventy from photos i have seen it really has affected our marriage badly i feel i don t know him any more and i would not have married him if i knew about it it could not even been a physical thing so think about future boyfriends when they find out later on in your life i have no problems with other girl friends and marriages he has had but this is sick if they were younger when it happen it would not seen so bad no i take that back it is sick

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2006):

There is nothing at all wrong with it apart from the opinions of narrow minded people who have created a taboo subject out of a normal situation Remember Queen Victoria Her Husband Albert They were cousins

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2006):

Hi, i'm yet another person who has fallen for my first cousin and she dropped hints for ages about liking me i tried to convince myself i didnt feel the same way but i do and i admitted it to her and things ended up on the rocks but we came through it the parents know and arnt too keen on the idea but we love each other to the extent that this will not stand in our way.

The fact is two adults who love each other should not let any narrow minded people stand in there was and IT IS LEGAL so why do people have a problem

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2006):

Hey A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2006)...its a nice change to see that a guy is expressing how he feels...its not often that happens...I also love my cousin very deeply...but he doesint know and I dont think I will ever be able to tell him...im not shure he feels the same

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2006):

I think what you are doing is great. personally i love my own cousin very deeply. I would talk to your family if they disapprove keep doing what you are doing its your life right?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2006):

thank you "female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006)" yeah im young but i think its more than a crush, i see him often enough...but usually at family occassions. Im not quite shure what to do...he doesint open up allot to me...which Im not shure if its cause he scared, or because he just doesint want to, because ive seen him looking at me at family reunions..and to me it seems like more than a crush...but i dont want to assume anything...all i know is that i love him but i dont have a clue how he feels about me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2006):

in reply to u, female 20/2 well, hmm, difficult how old are u and is there anyway of me contacting u apart from this, so its a bit more private? just dont worry and dont stress, it will be ok! do u get on well together? do u see him often? also, if u like are 15 or something, hes 18right, well he could assume its a crush, also find out about his lovelife, dont cause yourself any unnecessary stress tho!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006):

reply to Anonymous female feb 19...I really want him to know but the thing is that I dont have a clue how he feels...and Im almost certain that he doesint feel the same way...it will be so much harder if I tell him and then he says he doesint feel the same...Im scared to never be able to talk to him or look him in the eye again...im torn apart by my options and im so confused...I love him to death but he has no clue...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2006):

in answer to A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006): before me and my partner got together (we are cousins) he had a crush on me about a year before, hes 17 and im a few months younger, i guess if we told each other our feelings we would have been together earlier, but we were scared off what each other would think. If you are close, then confide in him, if he does equally like you back he would be understanding. Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006):

Hey I really have a passionate deep secret love for my cousin and I would never in a million years be ready to let him know...In a perfect world I would want him to tell me how he feels about me...we have an age difference he is about 18 and im a little younger....please what should I do??? I cant focus on anything...im always thinking of him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2006):

If you love this guy tell him you may be surprised, I was, I am in the same situation, but he initiated it but it has been brewing for years, what could be worse for the family? you meeting somebody they disaprove off? at least you will both work at the relationship when it is out in the open and it just won't be meeting up for sex. Sometimes it is hard thinking what others think, but take a step back and think what you want! It is your life. Lots of luck for the future!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2006):

Hey, Ive always loved my cousin, and always looked up to him. Ive never told him im too scared, i dont know if he loves me to but my biggest fear is to tell him. I think of him constantly and my heart hurts when I remember that we are family...we have an age difference but not one that would matter...anyways he is a great guy and the saddest part is that he will never know my fellings for him...Youre lucky you know how he feels for you and my advice is to never let your fears get it the way of your heart...your passion

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006):

I love my cousin too. My first cousin to be exact. He is my world. In my head I've acdepted what I feel for him. Now I just need to let him know how I feel. You are not alone. If he's had sex with you, then obviously he feels SOMETHING for you. I wish I can say I have gone through that. You now just have to figure out where you want to go from there. Good Luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006):

Sleeping with your cousin is not incest. For those who think that, they need to look around, and learn the fact before they just talk. Most people who say this, have never felt an attraction towards a cousin, so its like asking someone if they would sleep with their brother or sister. Which IS incest. To answer your question though, I would just have to question whether or not you really WANT a relationship with your cousin. If you do, there is no other way but to come clean, and let everyone know. Love shouldn't be a secret, so go for it. Whats the worst that could happen. It might be hard, but love can overcome anything. You should noooooot deny your feelings. Thats why we have feelings to begin with. It is ok, and LEGAL to act on them..for the most part. Use good judgement, and you shall be fine. I wish you all the best. Enjoy this relationship with your cousin...you will have it for the rest of your life...you mine as well enjoy it to the fullest!

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A female reader, nofrills +, writes (11 February 2006):

nofrills agony auntThis is incest and that is very sick, there's too much in-breeding in the world as it is, how do you sleep at night?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2006):

as for the previous person who wrote than appalling reply, don't listen to him, im in love with my cousin too, we are going to get married, whats the harm in that, if we decide to have children we will check everything with our GP, if there is a prominant recessive gene in our family we will address the issue. Enjoy yourself, as for the alleged banning, no, there is likely to be campaigns only towards British Pakistanis, it is highly unlikely it will be banned - not everyone has children, so why assume?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2006):

'the idea that your offspring would have genetic problems is a myth,' quote by female reader, Katy, writes (11 August 2005):

It is not a myth.My best friends parents are cousins,he is now,at 35 in a wheel chair with type 2 diabetes,arthritus,heart problems and so on,the amount of pills he takes to keep him going is sad.It is fact in-breeding causes problems,ask your doctor.

As for 'you can't help who you fall in love with', bullshit.You are weak willed,immoral and selfish to put your family and friends through such an embarrassing ordeal,sort it out,get to know somebody else to fall in love with like you have your cousin,agh your cousin.Won't be long till this is illegel in the U.K

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2005):

Don't worry I'm Muslim and we "ONLY" marry our cousins ...so have fun....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2005):

hi, i met my cousin at a party too, and we have been together for a year and a half now. although i met him for the first time at the party a few years back, we liked eachother from the first time we met, we had an on off relationship due to our parents not aggreeing with the situation, we didnt see eachother for about a year, then after we ran into one another we have been together ever since. my mother accepted it seeing that i was happy and i basically let her know that she has no say in my relationship part of my life, finally hes mum just yesterday actually, accepted that her son was happy and really wants us to go for a relationship, which im over the moon about. we can finally have a proper relationship. so if its still going between you two, good luck with it. its hard, i tell ya it is but if you love him as much as i love my man, you will fight for him.....AS FOR THE WRITER WHO WROTE ON THE 9TH DECEMBER- it is not illegal in england (i aint sure about other countries), cousins can actually marry, and also get over yourself it aint sinful and immoral fúcking hell so many small minded people in this world. if the girl is happy and loves her bloke what the héll has it got anything to do with YOU! you mention -own personal life- yes, its hers, so is yours, yours, i have had alot of shít coz of my relationship, but i tell ya now, its worth every fúcking penny. i have never loved someone so much and if i ever lose him, i doubt i could love any other man the same way. so, píss off with all your church cráp of its sinful búllshít coz iIT IS LEGAL!

D.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2005):

Don't worry about the Catholic church. The church in fact allows cousins to get married. For first cousins you might need a dispensation from the bishop which is just a formality. You don't need one for more distant cousins. It's the only "forbidden love" the Church actually allows, so it's not really forbidden is it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2005):

hiya ,

i went threw the same thing .

my cousin was a little older than me , and as you do i looked up to him , i evan just wanted to be like him .

the fisrt time it happend we was both going threw a roungh patch and we had sex , the next day we taked for hours and said it would never happen again , but months down the line it was goin on nearly every week , i was down his 24/7 and his ma nor my da had a clue , and just through we was close as cousins , few months after i got preg , and we both had to come clean , OMG wot was this gonna do to the family , my side went mad and his was ok about it . 6 weeks after i miscarried and my da ran him , told him to keep away etc , that nite he hung himself , it all come back down on him , over wot happened to me . i loved him and he loved me, so my advice is to follow your heart and don't let anyone make that decision 4 you . i dont regret anything about me and him and i still think of him everyday ...... ? good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2005):

i'm in the same position, except we haven't had sex either. i talk to him about everything because we have been best friends since the day i was born him. i love him more than any one in the world, and think of him so much throughout the day. i'm afraid of my parents finding out to. but i'm really considering marriege, plus we think his mom knows, she has seen us holding hands. His mom loves me so i think it will b ok. but 4 u i really think u should break it 1st to some one who really knows you in the family and will listen to u. whatever u do DON'T run away with him

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2005):

i feel the same way you feel but the difference is we never had sex but we love each other. Just go on its ok for me then.

im happy with you

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2005):

Hey I have been in such a situation,and in my case it is wild.I love this girl,although she is my cousin.

To tell you the truth she really turns me on like no other girl I have ever slept with in my life.And we are getting married.So why should your sacrificy your happiness,go on marry this guy despite what everyone says.Goodluck!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2005):

keep it secret from your family until you and your cousin jointly decide when and how you tell your families. Enjoy your coutship. You enter this relationship on a high because you know each other so well. And,no, its not wrong to date your cousin...but you don't want your extended family working that out while you and he / she are in the early stages of your relationship. I am doing same. The only barriers I see are the Catholic Church and western families' acceptance.

remember its your life, your happiness - your family should always support you in that. Just leave them be till you are both comitted to each other. Good luck.

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A female reader, Katy +, writes (11 August 2005):

Hi there!

First of all, this is all just my opinion, but be wary of anyone who says they're not religious and in the same breath says "pray and repent". Five exclamation marks in a row is also a bad sign ;)

Second of all, I have learnt by experience that keeping relationships secret is a risky thing. I'm sure it works sometimes, but all too often you get found out in the worst possible circumstances. My advice is that if you intend to continue the relationship, tell your family about it yourself - if they find out another way you'll have no control over the circumstances, whereas if you tell them yourself you can decide when, where, how and - most importantly - what to say. Just sit them down and talk to them calmly, having first worked out exactly how to explain the situation to them. If they love you they will want you to be happy and will respect your decision to be with your cousin.

If anyone tells you its incest they're just plain wrong - it's perfectly legal for you to get married (well, in the UK at least and probably in the US as well if that's where you're from). It's also perfectly OK to have kids together if that's what you want - the idea that your offspring would have genetic problems is a myth, unless your family have been inbreeding for several generations!

You say that you're worried it might not work out, which is very understandable, but that's always a risk in any relationship. I agree completely with the people who have replied advising you to follow your heart - love is a much more reliable guide than fear. If you love him and he loves you and you both want to be together, you shouldn't let anything get in the way of that because if you do you'll probably regret it deeply. Yes, it might not work, but if you don't go for it you will spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.

There are no guarantees in life, the only thing that is certain is that you only get one shot at it and if you pass up a chance at happiness that chance might not come again. "A life lived in fear is a life half-lived."

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2005):

Hi, i know exactly what you are going through, i was sleeping with my cousin for 2 years and the same as you we, although we wanted to be together, we felt the family would be devestated.

But....having said this, it is legal perfectly legal for cousins to marry and even safe to have children. I dont know where your from, but certainly in england it is. It is true what they say, you cannot help who you fall in love with. If you really feel you want to be together, then i think you should be. Try to get some infromation and facts about your situation, try cousincouples.com for accurate facts and then if you do decide to go ahead, you can reassure your families that you are really doing nothing wrong. In my situation, i must tell you, we did go on and meet other people, we are still very close and the best of friends, however the sexual relationship did end. It is a scary situation to be in and im sure if you do tell your families they will initially be shocked, but im would imagine they would come to terms with it eventually. As far as it not working out, isnt that a risk for any relationship??

Follow your hearts and be happy, and remember it is not incest, it is perfectly legal and you are doing nothing wrong.

Best of luck to both of you!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2005):

Look, I don't know what I would do if I were in that situation. But I do know one thing...you can't help who you fall in love with. No body can. If you love him, and I mean really love him, then what else can you do but stay with him? I'm kind of in my own predicament here, (that's why I'm on the website), but my problem is, I let my love go. Now, I'm really regreting. So, if you really love him...don't let people fool you into thinking you'll get over him, because I promise...you wont. Telling your family will be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, but in the end, if you know that you really love him...it should all be worth it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2004):

Hey! I'm no relationship guru or anything like that, but if there is one thing I know, is that incest is wrong. I suggest you tell your cousin (no matter how good the dick might be) that you need to cut things off. Family is a very sacred instrument, not only in society but in a person's own personal life, and to have sex with someone related to you is just plain iniquitous, it's sinfully wicked and immoral. I'm not the religious type but you should pray and repent. Oh yeah...Incest is Wrong!!!!! I don't care how entertaining it is on Jerry Springer.

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