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As soon as we slept together, he said I was "too close" & dumped me

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 February 2005) 2 Answers - (Newest, 14 February 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

When I started working in my job about 4 years ago, there was a guy who tried it on with me, as I'm married and I hardly knew him I brushed it off,but then he became really nasty towards me. This carried on for about a year, I didn't know why as I always tried to get along with him.

Then he started talking to me again and at a xmas party he made it very clear that he fancied me, I was very suprised, as I was convinced he hated me.

I flirted back that night and I found myself being attracted to him, he tried to kiss me but I didn't let him, then he got my number from a colleague and started texting me everyday and coming on really strong.

I enjoyed the attention, meanwhile my marriage was getting from bad to worse. My husband was being very abusive towards me and I was becoming increasingly unhappy. The guy at work used to walk me home everyday and we became very close, we had so much in common and I fancied him.

One day I gave in and kissed him, but someone saw us, word spread around work so we decided to not carry on, I was upset but I thought it was for the best. Still he walked me home and the chemistry between us was so strong I couldn't forget him.

We started meeting up after work and on weekends, we kissed and held hands but nothing more.

After about 6 months of this I started going round his house, met all his family and I was really falling for him. I've never felt this close to anyone else before.

One weekend my husband and I had a row and he hit me, I had enough and went to stay at a friend's. That week I decided to take things further with this guy at work and we slept together for the 1st time, I had wanted it for so long. I couldn't get over how gentle and caring he was. It was amazing!

Then the next day he stopped talking to me. I couldn't figure it out, after 8 months of seeing him, he said he didn't want to see me that weekend, I was so heart broken,

My husband was asking me back so I gave in and went back. Things didn't get better at home and I felt that I stopped loving my husband.

I can't get this guy out of my head , I've lost my sole mate.

About a year after, he tried it on with me again a few times but even though I love him I said no as I didn't want to get hurt again.

When I asked him why he left he said he was confused and that I was getting too close to him. He also said that that night we slept together was very special and that our relationship was fun. We don't speak much now but I still feel the chemistry when I bump into him.

What went wrong ?

I thought it takes 2 to get those sort of feelings that we had?

View related questions: at work, flirt, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2005):

Yes you are very right in what you are saying, and its not nice that they did that to you. I recently went through the same thing with my now, ex-boyfriend. But what you have to remember is there are plenty of guys out there that wouldnt dream of treating you like that, you just have to find the right one. Yeah sure you'll wake up each morning with one or maybe both these guys on your mind, but they don't no what their missing and when they do realize, then hopefully you'll have alredy realized long before that none of these guys are worthy of all your tears and your love. In the end they're the ones who have loved and lost and your the one whos on the road to happyness as you go out and look for your Mr Right. so just hold your head high and have some fun girl, keep smiling for your the one whos bettered yourself they've both showed their true colours, colours which you just don't need! And as the saying goes every cloud has its silver lining yours isnt far behind!

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A reader, ms truthful, writes (14 February 2005):

i find it hard to understand why you want to be with either of these men, if your husband is abusive towards you then leave him. and the guy from work, he's clearly treating you without respect. it seems that once he got what he wanted he didnt want to know you. he then decided he wanted another fling, but well done you didnt let him. if these men are willing to treat you so shabbily without a second thought, then i think you should get rid of them both and get the independence you need to recover from the hurt you've been suffering.

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