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As soon as I told him about my feelings, he stopped talking to me!

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 September 2005) 5 Answers - (Newest, 7 December 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

Me and this boy have been talking and as we were talking I started falling in love with him... Now this has been going on for 2-3 months and I finally told him. Now he doesnt want to talk to me anymore. What do I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005):

I think it is a real drag you can't tell someone you love them without them running a mile! Love doesnt have to be recipricated to be appreciated but it takes a very mature person to be able to tell someone they love them without expecting to hear it in return. especially at the risk of losing a special friend. That is the big question here, what did you expect in return? If it was a spontaneous "I love you" you will learn to manage that urge to say it with more experience. Good luck with all your future relationships and don't worry - he will be back, but give him some time.

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A female reader, lildeesbg United States +, writes (9 September 2005):

lildeesbg agony auntFirst off good for you that you were comfortable enough with yourself and the siutation to lay the cards out on the table. Even as women there are times we have to take control of the situation, (dont we ever get a break??) Anyways it seems like he wasnt completely into you and that comment sent him running for the hills. Which means he just wasnt ready for anything that serious. So you definitly need to move on and dont stress what happened be proud that you stood up for your feelings. I know that people dont have to be in a relationship for months and months to fall in love. But my question to you is why do you think you fell for this guy so soon? I am not saying to put up a defense wall the next time a guy approaches you, but coming from the question you ask this guy didnt seem like prince charming, since he ran away without giving you a response to what you put out there. Therefore, my only out look I want to give to you is make sure your not falling in love to fall in love. Other than that you go girl !

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A male reader, feelingood +, writes (8 September 2005):

He's just not that into you. Leave it, if he values your friendship, he'll call you. Otherwise, move on. A quote from the late great Luther Vandross "I'll walk away knowin, I tried my best and I'm going... I'm goin on with my day cause at least she heard me say, excuse me miss... can i take you out tonight?" I wish you all the best and good luck in your future relationships.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2005):

You scared him, hon! It's impossible to know what was going on in his mind, but chances are, he was enjoying you as a friend only. Now that you've shared this bit of information with him, he doesn't know how to react. He probably doesn't want to encourage you (doesn't want to break your heart by leading you on), so he's pulling away.

This is one of the awful Life Lessons that you can only learn as you go along. Try to remember this as a faux pas that you won't make next time.

In the meanwhile, you pretty much have your answer that he doesn't return your feelings, so I'd just leave him alone for a while until things settle. You and he can probably be friends again later.

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A female reader, missdee +, writes (7 September 2005):

You didn't say if you two were dating or just talking as friends. Either way 2-3 months is not a long time. Sounds like he either got scared, or didn't want to go in that direction at all. You can try to talk to him and see what went wrong but if he wont' talk to you then your best bet is to move on. In the future be careful saying them 3 little words, unless you are pretty sure that person feels the same way too.

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